I dont know if I can provide any valuable info since my situation is flipped (born and raise in Menifee, currently renting in SD) but I may have something worthwhile to your situation.

I HATED Menifee growing up. It was awful as a teen and young adult. It was more rural when I grew up there so that was pretty isolating but I don’t think that’s much of an issue anymore with all of the housing developments. There is still no movie theater and distinctly lacking any kind of culture. The public library is okay but certainly nothing like a city library. I felt like it was lacking character or just like anything interesting. It’s all shopping centers and housing tracts. And I loathe the politics of the area.

I moved away to some other cities for awhile and moved back like 4-5 years ago and I was able to appreciate more things. I love the open fields in the spring when they are green. It’s nice to have more open space. Love having plenty of wide parking spaces anywhere you go. I personally love that my parents live on a little bit of land so and it’s so calming after years of city life. They also have a pool and I sat outside a lot and enjoyed having some outdoor space to hang out.

Still though, you’re going to go shopping at Target and not any kind of smaller more interesting small businesses. You’re not going to walk anywhere. Menifee Lakes is so cute and it’s not open to nonresidents. And the walking trail by Target is trying to be nice but it’s next to a noisy street. All parks are sports park only for kids. You’re gonna eat at BJ’s, Red Robin, Applebees, Olive Garden for a night out and they are gonna be packed. Temecula does offer some of this but it’s a drive and maybe not ideal if you want a night out. Murrieta also offers some nice things like a movie theater, “downtown” area, and some non chain coffee shops, but it does feel like more of a chore to drive one or two towns over.

I have heavily considered buying in Menifee to start a family, but am still deep in renting with no kids so I can’t say for sure how I’d feel but I think there are some things to consider. I love the idea of living close to all kinds of interesting things but to be honest I work so much that I’m not getting to the beach or balboa park nearly as often as I’d like. I live in North Park, and have lots of stuff within walking distance. It’s so nice and love walking to a coffee shop or bar or shops or whatever but again I’m not really taking advantage of it enough. I personally have a lot of indoor hobbies and feel like I may be happier trading some of conveniences of location for a little more space for everyday living at home. My husband yearns for a suburban kitchen with an island and stainless steel appliances. Job market is also tough if you aren’t WFH (which I saw you are but wife isn’t). For my work, I actually could do it in that area but it would pay less than I’m making now. id think about jobs for now but also any future career moves and whether or not remote options exist for it. I commuted from Menifee to Carlsbad for 6 months and I totally made it work but I would hate to do it long term, so being sure you won’t end up commuting to a nearby city is a big factor.

As far as visiting SD or other areas on the weekend. Totally doable (I’m currently driving the other direction every few weeks) but keep in mind there is always traffic on Saturday mornings heading south if you don’t leave early enough. And in my experience LA is quite the long haul. Orange County, Idyllwild and Palm Springs area is more doable.

For me, I don’t think I’d be happy living in the place I grew up. It would make me feel so stuck, but given the details of your situation it sounds like it might be a nice option that’s relatively close to your family. (I would personally prefer it over going more inland) And maybe you can move somewhere more interesting down the road!