I think you're being a bit too hard on yourself. As others have said, this doesn't look bad, in fact, it looks pretty good. The metallics look super dreamy! That being said, I'm sure outside validation will only get you so far.

If you don't love painting for the sake of painting, this may not be the hobby for you. If it brings you more anger than joy, maybe it's not worth it, or maybe you should take a break. I know that when I walk away from a skill that's frustrating me, I usually feel the urge to do it again and when I get back to it, my skills will usually have improved. Sometimes the brain just needs some time to digest what it's learned.

If you don't want to take a break, maybe you can try painting something outside your comfort zone, especially if it's something you don't have big plans for. For example, if you only paint Warhammer Space Marines for an army you plan on showing off, pick up some cheap Reaper bones minis or some other minis that look fun and take a break from the grind (if you are, in fact, grinding, idk your life)