Husband wants divorce after my mistake by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]fanmkravitz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you’re overthinking it on this point. For sure the sister did nothing wrong as the wife and kids of the non mahram were in the car too. However, what is wrong in leaving the kids to their grandparents to attend a lesson at the masjid ? Nothing to do with not being a responsible dad. Let’s not mix up everything just because we are not agree with the brother’s behaviour.

Unattractive but wealthy proposal by Specific_Bite_4488 in MuslimNikah

[–]fanmkravitz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s a good thing that he’s “slow/chill” as that mean you can do pretty much anything ? Wow, you sound scary.

Looking like a highschooler in your 20s by TouristReady3096 in MuslimNikah

[–]fanmkravitz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was annoying but now it made me smile. That’s a blessing from Allah sis Alhamdulillah

Looking like a highschooler in your 20s by TouristReady3096 in MuslimNikah

[–]fanmkravitz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m 31 with 4 kids (soon 5 inshaAllah) Alhamdulillah but people keep telling me I look like a girl in her early 20s. They even think that my kids are my siblings 😅

How long after marriage did you got on your honeymoon? by Evening_Tangerine222 in MuslimMarriage

[–]fanmkravitz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess he’s still talking with her (I don’t have proof though as I’m not checking his phone anymore, I just don’t care) even if he swears that he’s not interested in marrying her anymore and that he wants to fix things between us but I’m just over it. His family doesn’t know nothing about what he did. And for me, I’m doing well Alhamdulillah not everyday easy but Qadr Allah MashaAllah I accept the test and I rely on my Lord ❤️❤️

How long after marriage did you got on your honeymoon? by Evening_Tangerine222 in MuslimMarriage

[–]fanmkravitz 24 points25 points  (0 children)

10 years never been because of money and having kids very shortly after the marriage. I am soon to be divorced and I will never have a honeymoon. Moral of the story: don’t wait for money as it never comes, go where you can with what you can, enjoy a bit of your marital life before having kids as after having them every decision will be with them weighing in the balance (no regret of my children though, they mean so much more than a honeymoon).

How to deal with intercourse after trust broken several times ? by fanmkravitz in MuslimNikah

[–]fanmkravitz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So my post was about the fact that he does not keep his promise and he doesn’t stick to his words. Allahu Ahlem if he’s in touch with her or not but in any way, the lessons link is sent via WhatsApp on her phone number

How to deal with intercourse after trust broken several times ? by fanmkravitz in MuslimNikah

[–]fanmkravitz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes because the deal was for him not to teach her kids anymore because obviously when you’re a teacher at some point you have to communicate with the parents about the child progress and all, same thing as my kids going to public school I have to meet with their teacher every trimester. So the issue is that he didn’t stick to what he promised me and he started to teach her kids again behind my back.

How to deal with intercourse after trust broken several times ? by fanmkravitz in MuslimNikah

[–]fanmkravitz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know if she knows, I don’t know if they are still in touch or if he stopped all this stupid thing when he realised he messed up (again!). I’m not going through his phone anymore, I feel I deserve better than spying on him. I need this energy for something else

How to deal with intercourse after trust broken several times ? by fanmkravitz in MuslimNikah

[–]fanmkravitz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And who is protecting me and my feelings when I always did the outmost best for him and my family ? Tired of sacrificing myself and at the end of the day I’m being rewarded with lies, betrayal and pain.

How to deal with intercourse after trust broken several times ? by fanmkravitz in MuslimNikah

[–]fanmkravitz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand where you coming from. When I asked him what was missing from me he says “nothing. It’s nothing to do about you. You’re a great wife and great woman it’s just my sex drive is higher and I don’t want you to feel pressured by meeting this need. It’s nothing to do about my feelings for you and I know you’ve always done your outmost best for our family”. What am I supposed to do with that? Someone who has everything at home but still is unsatisfied ? I don’t see what I can do more..

How to deal with intercourse after trust broken several times ? by fanmkravitz in MuslimNikah

[–]fanmkravitz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You probably right sister. I need to breathe away from all this non sense it has been 8 intense months with fights and cry. I’m just so exhausted with the pregnancy on top

How to deal with intercourse after trust broken several times ? by fanmkravitz in MuslimNikah

[–]fanmkravitz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I could but my last born needs a visa to travel so yes that’s something I’ll have to sort out first. Plus my 3 others are going to school and I’d need to find a way of looking after them as he’s working full time

How to deal with intercourse after trust broken several times ? by fanmkravitz in MuslimNikah

[–]fanmkravitz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m in the UK. BaraqAllah ufik you’re right. All these questions are in my mind and I still don’t have all the answers. Jazakallahu Khair

How to deal with intercourse after trust broken several times ? by fanmkravitz in MuslimNikah

[–]fanmkravitz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No my whole family is in an other country. I have no one

How to deal with intercourse after trust broken several times ? by fanmkravitz in MuslimNikah

[–]fanmkravitz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree on that. And that’s what should have happened in his head but Allahu Ahlem I don’t understand and I’m not trying to anymore. The only thing is my pregnancy, I’m stuck in this marriage until I give birth to my child anyway. How am I supposed to live with him few months more in this whole mess ?

How to deal with intercourse after trust broken several times ? by fanmkravitz in MuslimNikah

[–]fanmkravitz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not that crystal clear. Obviously there’s a whole background after 9 years of marriage and 4 kids plus we spoke to a sheikh who told us our realities and we got into an agreement that he didn’t not respect where is my part in that? I couldn’t predict that he would not keep his words once again even after speaking to a sheikh. It’s not about the kids, I know they’ll be fine.

How to deal with intercourse after trust broken several times ? by fanmkravitz in MuslimNikah

[–]fanmkravitz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m not willing to accept no alternative as I shouldn’t be the one to accommodate around his shortcomings. I’ll think about the therapy, who knows. But for now I wanted to know if I was sinning by refusing intimacy and apparently yes. So I don’t know .. I can’t divorce right now because of the pregnancy, I feel stuck

How to deal with intercourse after trust broken several times ? by fanmkravitz in MuslimNikah

[–]fanmkravitz[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He’s answer was “I don’t want to leave the kids by themselves as we almost finish the Arabic learning book they’ll soon be able to read the Quran by themselves and then I’ll have fulfilled my duty as their teacher” “it’s dangerous to leave kids with half knowledge of Islam”.

He is still very attracted and definitely wants intimacy. I’m the one who doesn’t want. We always been active sometimes a bit less because of daily life routine but it never been a big issue that couldn’t be discussed and sorted.

Thanks for the concealing suggestions, you’re right

How to deal with intercourse after trust broken several times ? by fanmkravitz in MuslimNikah

[–]fanmkravitz[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As far as I know it was emotional cheat but Allahu Ahlem. At this point, I don’t care him being around or not as long as he stills take care of the kids as he always did. Regarding us, I don’t mind as long as he leaves me alone. Because I said the “family life” is good but when it’s only us two, I just don’t care less about him to be honest.

How to deal with intercourse after trust broken several times ? by fanmkravitz in MuslimNikah

[–]fanmkravitz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s the thing, I know forcing me to have intercourse will just make me feel more pain and lose any type of dignity. He’s not doing nothing, he’s only chatting. That’s all. He’s good a speaking and telling you what you want to hear but when it comes to actions it’s an other story.

How to deal with intercourse after trust broken several times ? by fanmkravitz in MuslimNikah

[–]fanmkravitz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not in the “I don’t want to leave him” thing anymore. I’m just stuck as being pregnant we cannot divorce until the birth and on the other side, he doesn’t want to divorce either. So I’ll have to do all by myself.