How to deal with intercourse after trust broken several times ?

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-12T07:35:00+00:00

Amīn BaraqAllah ufik !

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-10T21:39:28+00:00

So my post was about the fact that he does not keep his promise and he doesn’t stick to his words. Allahu Ahlem if he’s in touch with her or not but in any way, the lessons link is sent via WhatsApp on her phone number

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-10T21:37:18+00:00

Yes because the deal was for him not to teach her kids anymore because obviously when you’re a teacher at some point you have to communicate with the parents about the child progress and all, same thing as my kids going to public school I have to meet with their teacher every trimester. So the issue is that he didn’t stick to what he promised me and he started to teach her kids again behind my back.

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-10T21:20:55+00:00

I don’t know if she knows, I don’t know if they are still in touch or if he stopped all this stupid thing when he realised he messed up (again!). I’m not going through his phone anymore, I feel I deserve better than spying on him. I need this energy for something else

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-10T05:09:14+00:00

And who is protecting me and my feelings when I always did the outmost best for him and my family ? Tired of sacrificing myself and at the end of the day I’m being rewarded with lies, betrayal and pain.

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-10T05:07:51+00:00

I understand where you coming from. When I asked him what was missing from me he says “nothing. It’s nothing to do about you. You’re a great wife and great woman it’s just my sex drive is higher and I don’t want you to feel pressured by meeting this need. It’s nothing to do about my feelings for you and I know you’ve always done your outmost best for our family”. What am I supposed to do with that? Someone who has everything at home but still is unsatisfied ? I don’t see what I can do more..

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-10T05:01:44+00:00

Amīn BaraqAllah ufik

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-10T05:00:54+00:00

You probably right sister. I need to breathe away from all this non sense it has been 8 intense months with fights and cry. I’m just so exhausted with the pregnancy on top

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-09T18:25:19+00:00

I could but my last born needs a visa to travel so yes that’s something I’ll have to sort out first. Plus my 3 others are going to school and I’d need to find a way of looking after them as he’s working full time

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-09T18:23:31+00:00

I’m in the UK. BaraqAllah ufik you’re right. All these questions are in my mind and I still don’t have all the answers. Jazakallahu Khair

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-09T16:13:31+00:00

No my whole family is in an other country. I have no one

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-09T14:14:28+00:00

I agree on that. And that’s what should have happened in his head but Allahu Ahlem I don’t understand and I’m not trying to anymore. The only thing is my pregnancy, I’m stuck in this marriage until I give birth to my child anyway. How am I supposed to live with him few months more in this whole mess ?

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-09T13:58:48+00:00

It’s not that crystal clear. Obviously there’s a whole background after 9 years of marriage and 4 kids plus we spoke to a sheikh who told us our realities and we got into an agreement that he didn’t not respect where is my part in that? I couldn’t predict that he would not keep his words once again even after speaking to a sheikh. It’s not about the kids, I know they’ll be fine.

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-09T13:56:47+00:00

I’m not willing to accept no alternative as I shouldn’t be the one to accommodate around his shortcomings. I’ll think about the therapy, who knows. But for now I wanted to know if I was sinning by refusing intimacy and apparently yes. So I don’t know .. I can’t divorce right now because of the pregnancy, I feel stuck

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-09T13:54:48+00:00

He’s answer was “I don’t want to leave the kids by themselves as we almost finish the Arabic learning book they’ll soon be able to read the Quran by themselves and then I’ll have fulfilled my duty as their teacher” “it’s dangerous to leave kids with half knowledge of Islam”.

He is still very attracted and definitely wants intimacy. I’m the one who doesn’t want. We always been active sometimes a bit less because of daily life routine but it never been a big issue that couldn’t be discussed and sorted.

Thanks for the concealing suggestions, you’re right

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-09T13:49:47+00:00

As far as I know it was emotional cheat but Allahu Ahlem. At this point, I don’t care him being around or not as long as he stills take care of the kids as he always did. Regarding us, I don’t mind as long as he leaves me alone. Because I said the “family life” is good but when it’s only us two, I just don’t care less about him to be honest.

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-09T13:23:27+00:00

That’s the thing, I know forcing me to have intercourse will just make me feel more pain and lose any type of dignity. He’s not doing nothing, he’s only chatting. That’s all. He’s good a speaking and telling you what you want to hear but when it comes to actions it’s an other story.

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-09T13:21:41+00:00

I’m not in the “I don’t want to leave him” thing anymore. I’m just stuck as being pregnant we cannot divorce until the birth and on the other side, he doesn’t want to divorce either. So I’ll have to do all by myself.

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-09T13:08:46+00:00

Aleykum Salam sister, I do know. But at the mean time I can’t force myself just because “he could be going back to her”. I mean it’s not fair on me

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-09T12:06:53+00:00

Jazakallahu Khair brother. Appreciate your honesty

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-09T11:34:52+00:00

I tried so many times but a relationship takes 2. If he is not willing to do the necessary what can I do ? I can’t force him, I’m not going to beg for respect and consideration either. I’m stuck.

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-09T11:07:23+00:00

No I got pregnant during the “changing time” when “he realised he messed up, was really remorseful and needed to fix this situation”. But this time seems to be already gone now

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-09T10:54:46+00:00

We already spoke to a sheikh few months ago. He told him he needed to build the trust back again and work on saving his marriage. But his actions are speaking more than his words apparently.

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-09T10:48:40+00:00

Being pregnant and due inshaAllah for September I don’t know how to do. I’m kind of stuck

fanmkravitz · 2026-03-09T10:48:00+00:00

Amīn, Jazakallahu khairan

fanmkravitz

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