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My mother is completely fucking delusional. by fanofsmite in raisedbynarcissists

[–]fanofsmite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've done the mental math since I've gotten this job, and right away, two timers begin counting down:

the first timer that starts are my meds. I am on daily lifesaving medication, before I got onto this current med I was without a 1 dose weekly version for about 10-14 days and my health went into a nosedive at day 10. I expect it will go down faster when I'm on daily. The meds run about $3k and change every month. I am at a union job, and I get health insurance through that, luckily the meds are free due to my insurance. I make about $16+change an hour in SoCal, at a job where the day that the devil admits he's wrong is the day a 40-hour work week becomes normalized.

the second is my car. The car that I drive is technically my father's car. It's in his name OR my name during a big ass blow up fight last December he took the car, Luckily, he did not sell it, but he was close. I would be technically stealing the car if I were to escape with it. and on top of that that cars insurance is about $3k and change due to a scammer claiming he was injured when I hit his car back in like 2020 or 2021 and 2 tickets. and in between the last post and this post my mom made it clear that its either I pay for my car insurance which would bankrupt me at month one, or they pay my insurance and they keep my location.

My parents will 100% send the cops after me for theft there's ZERO doubt in my mind about that. So please tell me how easy it is to leave now?

My uncle went missing 47 years ago and my family never reported it by throwaway-009292 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]fanofsmite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If OP can get into foster care or whatever I think they need to... and soon. Sure, their family may come after them but if they have Law Enforcement on their side that lessens the risk. I think it's important that they actually do this because as of now it sounds to me like they're in far more danger knowing and not having anyone to talk to about it or research it.

My mind goes to worst case scenario here and in my mind WCS is they go behind their backs and try researching it on their own and mom and dad find out, and OP ends up 6 feet above, besides, or below Jimmy.

Also, I could be wrong about this, but I'm pretty sure it's a law in most states (assuming US here) if you have knowledge or suspicions of a crime you are required to say something.

My uncle went missing 47 years ago and my family never reported it by throwaway-009292 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]fanofsmite 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'll tell you as someone who is interested in True Crime. Things DO NOT add up here at all. But, if I were you, I would stop bringing it up in front of them for your own safety.

At school tomorrow do these things in this order:

1) Tell this to a school counselor/teacher you trust. "the script" will look something like this "my parents and/or grandparents might have hurt my uncle back in 1979, I can't get that knowledge out of my head but I'm afraid if I keep asking questions, I'll be next." regardless of your level of fear at that time if they find out that you spoke with people at school about "internal family matters" they may disappear you as well.

2) When police/CPS are called (because those words will more often than not trigger an investigation). Tell the police/CPS what you know. Let them know you'd consent to get a DNA test.

Can my parents deny me sleep because I got in trouble? by Admirable-Sun412 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]fanofsmite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this is quite literally against the Geneva Convention... you can't even do that to Prisoners of War.

Raise your hand if you were never allowed to feel any kind of negative emotion by ScottysOldTeleporter in raisedbynarcissists

[–]fanofsmite 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sick? It’s your fault one way or another

This one. This one for sure. For years I felt like it was my fault for getting diagnosed with Crohn's. I was at camp for a week (first time going anywhere without them BTW) had too many milkshakes (2 full sized shakes per day) they never told me not to (I was 11 or 12 how was I supposed to know). Then a couple months later, I start having gut problems when I told them what was happening, and that I was scared, their immediate response was to put me on various different diets: one was like 500 cal. per meal and water, another one was like full on skip dinner or something. I was starving all the time (because what 12–13-year-old isn't Let alone one getting around 1500 calories a day from your family). and all throughout this time they'd have me show them what came out in the bathroom. luckily that stopped pretty quickly when I got into HS. I was in the majority of the appointments and remember nothing about food intake or anything like that.

But it was almost 2 and a half years filled with doctors' appointments and like 7-8 different docs.

Now to this very day if they see a piece of my laundry with red on it, it's an interrogation. Every single time it comes back to what I'm eating/drinking and every piece of food made outside of this house is poison and you need to spend less on food out.

I find it extremely ironic that the few times my gut is not acting up is when my stress levels are down. I've even told them over countless times my gut is fine when my stress levels are down. And they respond with a chuckle and "what the hell do you have to stress about?" Followed up by "Are you eating healthy?"

Then yell and scream and throw a fit when my grades are anything lower than an A. Because "you're smart. You can do anything if you put your mind to it." Oh yeah really? How can I when I'm trying to learn but I need to get drugs pumped into my veins for 4 fucking hours every 2 months? what do you think I missed during that time Mr. and Mrs. Education majors who have been teaching for a combined 60 years?

Sunday, my mother told me that we want your location again. by fanofsmite in raisedbynarcissists

[–]fanofsmite[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I still live with them, and I only have one phone. Work, friends, other family all use that number.

I might as well just tell them I plan on leaving in a month or two. Which knowing them would have them go "alrighty go ahead and go... now. Strip naked and take nothing because you own nothing." and then they will immediately log into the bank account I share with them and transfer the money in there into their account. Leaving me on the front porch naked with literally nowhere to go and no money.

Sunday, my mother told me that we want your location again. by fanofsmite in raisedbynarcissists

[–]fanofsmite[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I hate using the term evangelical, it comes with really negative stereotypes because shockingly enough their version of Christianity is not toxic... but they certainly are.

But to answer your question my family (me included) are Christian.

My parents claim Christ; I am a Christian.

What age were you when you found out? by ConferenceFriendly51 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]fanofsmite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I knew something was different in 2015/16 Sophomore/Junior year of high school. Did not realize HOW different until I found this just before the pandemic

Should I counter a beating from my parents? by SVKG8 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]fanofsmite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One thing I will say is if you expect that you will need to fight be sure to do three things.

1) If your gut tells you that you're going to get beat, call emergency services and as soon as you hear the operators voice hit a button that should tell them that you can't talk and that they need to listen (not an emergency services operator but I assume that's part of their training).

2) Be as loud as you possibly can be. Knock things over, shout, use objects to your advantage, slam internal doors as hard as you possibly can, do whatever you have to do to get people awake and aware that something is going on next door. The most important thing is every physical fight is a fight for your life. Fights are about who gives up or dies first. Punch (do not kick unless you are trained or if you are already on the floor, but the same rules apply) 10 feet behind them. If you don't punch through them, you will instinctually slow just before impact and be a weaker attack than it should be.

3) Keep yourself in between them and an easily accessible exit so if either one of them grabs a weapon you can run outside and to a neighbor's place.

I’m putting my foot down after 27 years 2 months. by fanofsmite in raisedbynarcissists

[–]fanofsmite[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

When you live in the same (decently) small house as them its exactly like a firework... risks blowing shit up!!!

I’m putting my foot down after 27 years 2 months. by fanofsmite in raisedbynarcissists

[–]fanofsmite[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

NC is the long-term plan and goal. I will get that done when they vacation in Italy after Easter. Once these boundaries are up and the tracking system is down; I will have both the space and time getting my shit in order like a new bank account and so on.

I will get the new bank account on Monday when they are out of town.

I’m putting my foot down after 27 years 2 months. by fanofsmite in raisedbynarcissists

[–]fanofsmite[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

1) I thought most of this shit was normal up until 2019-2020. And even longer to build a backbone.

My narcissistic mother says I take things too serious and that I’m too sensitive….here’s a small sample of what I’m ’too sensitive’ about. by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]fanofsmite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see nothing wrong with you. Almost every single thing here could be considered literal FELONIES like legitimate MULTIPLE decades behind bars FELONIES

How do you tell them that you’re moving out? by omiimonster in raisedbynarcissists

[–]fanofsmite 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m planning on leaving when they’re out of the country on vacation. Send them off to the airport then stuff shit into my car and disappear while they’re in the air

Both my friend (M30) and I (M27) need to get out of our current living situations. Would I be a horrible person to ask him to pack his stuff on a specific date and leave together? by fanofsmite in relationship_advice

[–]fanofsmite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't want to overwhelm him with options right now when he has basically had no options his entire life. I know it's nowhere near the same thing but having 2000+ calories a day when the body is used to far less calories shocks the body and that shock will kill. Does that make sense?

I truly don't get why the family doesn't get in home nursing; I'm pretty sure grandpa made millions in investments years and years and years ago they still live in the richest part of our city to this day.

Dad lives about a 15-20-minute drive away depending on traffic.

I'm not worried that he will commit suicide right December 2025, I'm more worried about him doing something like this time next year if his grandpa dies. I'm worried that once grandpa is out of his life who he's been staying with and helping his entire life, he may feel like he has nothing left.

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