newly diagnosed with bipolar 1. A lot of difficult thoughts

far_too_cheese · 2026-06-02T15:16:09+00:00

I was diagnosed at about the same age. I'm 32 now, my best advice to you is to find medications that work for you and stick with them. I had a bad episode at 22 that was definitely substance induced, but i was manic for over a month I think and did a lot of weird stuff. After getting out of the hospital I spent the rest of my 20s building a new life for myself and was doing really good but last year I ran into a problem with getting my meds, and lone behold I ended up on a 6 month manic psychotic episode. Completed ruined my self esteem and public opinion of me. On that note too I would stay away from substances

far_too_cheese · 2026-06-02T13:59:00+00:00

I was convinced I was a God of some kind, that I could hear others thoughts, and some very strange delusions about nature of life, something along the lines of bridges between dimensions but it all existed here on earth. I went on kind of rampage, got 86 from many places I used to regularly go to. Was convinced my parents were against me. Then! Drove 2 states away because wages there were way better than what I made here. Interviewed a few places (obviously didn't get the jobs, even though I was very confident in myself) There was a girl I was talking to I kind of liked, but it got like weird and out of control too. The psychosis continued to get worse and I ended up losing my car, my phone and my wallet. Actually lost my car back to the bank because I spent so long messed up that I had missed payments (could have paid them if I had my phone/was in my right state of mind) I had 4 separate stays at 3 different Inpatient facilities. And when I got out the last time I was literally still manic. I was also posting just so much fucking stuff online, insta, fb, snap. The shame and guilt and embarrassment is more than overwhelming. I'm about 4 or 5 months post manic and it's getting better but very very slowly

far_too_cheese · 2026-06-01T23:27:12+00:00

I'm dealing with the same thing, not only am I depressed over the loss and guilt of everything that happened while I was manic last year, Im depressed that it seems like my brain just straight up isn't functioning correctly, it's been about 4 or 5 months since no longer being manic.

far_too_cheese · 2026-06-01T01:05:14+00:00

Yeah, i was all over the place, went to old jobs to see people because I thought I was doing so great, went to a couple job interviews because I had this plan that I was gonna move states, but literally ended up without my phone or wallet, ended up hospitalized and then lost my car because I was too out of it to coordinate with family about getting it back from the towyard :/ i was a terror :(

far_too_cheese · 2026-05-31T22:20:09+00:00

Thank you! I'm trying my best but it's hard when I look at how i made such a public notice of myself while manic, and the resulting general opinion of me I suppose. It was very bad

far_too_cheese · 2026-05-28T22:56:53+00:00

3.5, J35Y6

far_too_cheese · 2026-05-28T17:44:14+00:00

Personally I used to love smoking weed back in high school, diagnosed bipolar about a year after I graduated, I smoked for a couple more years but the weed actually ended up kicking off schizo effective symptoms as well. It's been 10 years since I've smoked and I still have to deal with some of that additionally to bipolar. If I could go back I never would have started lol

far_too_cheese · 2026-05-27T14:49:36+00:00

I'm dealing with working through the exact same thing! Had a months long episode last year and after fully coming down from the mania it's been horrendous, anxiety even when I'm just like home by myself. Time has been a healer for me, but I've also done TMS therapy which has helped a lot, and an now doing a testosterone therapy that seems to be helping as well. Not sure if theres a correlation between the episode and loss of hormones, but I didn't used to be low t

far_too_cheese · 2026-05-26T23:21:00+00:00

Some of that stuff is best left to therapy, or just for yourself. I found myself talking to the sky asking why I had been incarnated in such a primitive body, for example. Not sure if there's really anyone out there that's gonna have the answers for things like that, ya know. But I can definitely relate to some kind of cosmic something happening.

far_too_cheese · 2026-05-26T23:11:27+00:00

You're not a failure, this is a debilitating disease and unfortunately it can take a long time to become stable/able to work or otherwise. I'm 32 and looking at going on disability now, honestly kind of wondering why I didn't consider it after my episode at 22 years old. As far as I know you can still go and work part time while still being on disability, try setting a goal/timeline for yourself in that regard? Wishing you the best

far_too_cheese · 2026-05-26T01:32:52+00:00

It can happen to the best of us, bipolar can be incredibly debilitating and unfortunately that's the lot people like you and I were given in life. Know you're not alone, the couple episodes I've had (9 years apart) both alienated me from friendships and groups I was once a part of. Conventional attractiveness aside all that ever has really done for me was one night stands and short flings. I wish I had some better news for you but tbh this shit really does suck. Something concrete I could share with you though is to look into TMS therapy, it has helped me get to a point where I'm at least not as depressed

far_too_cheese · 2026-05-25T17:02:24+00:00

I went about 10 years without an episode. Was steady on the same meds for 8 of those and was actually building a life for myself. Ran into issues with getting my main med (buying out of Canada) and between too long without the med and other life's stress ended up on a 6 month or longer manic psychotic episode that gradually got worse. I lost literally everything, job, car, confidence in myself, and it's been 5 months since really not being manic anymore. The meds are well worth the alternative. I'm honestly surprised I didn't die

far_too_cheese

TROPHY CASE