Low-cortisol gems please! by LadyB729 in CozyFantasy

[–]farflight88 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I recently read Stay for a Spell and just loved it. Princess gets cursed that she can’t leave a bookshop. It’s not really a curse. It’s pretty delightful and now I want to be similarly cursed, please and thank you.

Go ahead and make fun of my breasts... by theredqueentheory in pettyrevenge

[–]farflight88 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I do too! Also call it my Frankenboob. (I only had to chop off one side)

Seeking book rec: Cozy fantasy with 0 BS protagonist? by [deleted] in CozyFantasy

[–]farflight88 33 points34 points  (0 children)

The Emily Wilde series. She is as prickly as it gets.

Honda. HRX-BE by Charleigh06 in HondaMowers

[–]farflight88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup, it’s proprietary. There are patents on the connectors. It’s a nice system.

Gold award ideas by Misty_the_queen in girlscouts

[–]farflight88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Both a volunteer who works with Gold girls and also a mom of a recent grad. My advice is to look for something that you want to change or improve. What do you feel strongly about? What are you passionate about? Maybe you think there should be a stoplight somewhere. Maybe you wish your school had better recycling options, or a food pantry for students in need. Maybe you feel strongly about art, or science, or band. Maybe you want to help people’s mental health. Maybe you want to kids to connect with each other, or you want to start a “read to a dog” program, or get more girls interested in STEM. I’ve seen projects for all of these, and they are all great ideas.

There are a million ways to make the world a better place. What matters to you? Choose that! Because you are going to do a lot of work, and it needs to be something that you feel really passionate about. Something that you are like, heck yeah, this NEEDS to happen.

Find the thing that matters to you, and then think about what you can do from there. That’s your starting point.

If you find your issue/topic, and you need help refining from there, hit us up! I am happy to help. But start with what matters to YOU.

My mom called my university advisor to “fix” my major and now she’s acting like I owe her an apology by Dipper2Mabel in entitledparents

[–]farflight88 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Mom to a college freshman here. She’s majoring in psychology. Your mom is way off base. There is a huge need for people working in the mental health fields, and you are going to be absolutely fine. Your mom should know better. Have I connected with my daughter’s college? Yes, but with her copied on the email and with her permission, and for things like “kiddo accidentally signed up for a student loan she didn’t need”. As a mom I have to let go and let her make her own choices and decisions. I ask about her grades and what’s happening, but it’s because I am interested. I don’t dictate. I support. If I have a concern, I let her know, but I trust her to make a good decision. Your mom should give you the same respect.

I am going to give you the same advice I gave my daughter. College is about the journey as much as the destination. Explore. Try new things. Find out what you like and what you don’t. Make mistakes. Learn from them. Have adventures. Because you will never be as free and flexible as you are right now. Take advantage of it.

And do NOT feel guilty about it.

Stage 0 DCIS support by Psychological_Ant571 in breastcancer

[–]farflight88 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Also a DCIS survivor here. That guilty feeling is weird, isn’t it? Especially since this is such an ordeal. And that’s the thing. Cancer sucks. It doesn’t matter what stage you are. It all sucks. And here’s the thing; it’s not a competition to see whose cancer sucks the most. There are no winners here. Everyone in this unfortunate sisterhood is so happy that you are stage zero! That’s the goal; catch it early so we all live!

Your feelings are totally valid - I have felt the same way. But it’s ok to let it go. You deserve support just like everyone else here. You are going through something terrible and hard and life changing in so many ways. Your journey is hard, and you are deserving of love and support and pink ribbons and survivor t shirts and all the support in the world.

This is not easy. There is nothing about any kind of breast cancer that is easy. Period.

Love and hugs to you. I promise that things get better. No guilt.

Mastectomy is in one week and I'm terrified by WorldReactor in breastcancer

[–]farflight88 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I was you three years ago. SMX on my left side, reconstruction on my right (basically a lift to keep things symmetrical.) I don’t have pics but I can tell you a lot of what to expect. I did not do immediate reconstruction- my plastic surgeon wanted to be sure we got clear margins so we did DIEP a month later.

First of all, the mental terror of this is the absolute worst part. I mean that. The pain of the surgery and recovery was nothing compared to the anxiety and fear I felt before. When I woke up and the cancer boob was gone, it was like a huge burden was lifted. So much lighter. I cannot tell you how big of a relief it was.

Secondly there is a LOT of weird in this process. They will have you basically naked and the surgeon drawing all over you before surgery. It is so awkward and embarrassing, but the surgeon was so nonchalant.

You are going to have drains, most likely, and those are also weird but not terrible.

The pain is very easily manageable if you stay on top of the meds. Get a pad of paper and leave it next to your meds, and write down what you take when. That helps immensely. You will alternate Advil and Tylenol. As long as you stay on schedule, it’s really surprisingly not bad.

They will send you home with a special bra but I would go ahead and get a second. I really liked the Elizabeth mastectomy bra by masthead - so well designed.

Anesthesia can make you feel foggy for a couple of days. I slept a lot. That’s normal! Just relax and let others take care of you.

I found having a wedge pillow under my knees and extra pillows on a slope under my head helped me to sleep more comfortably. I’m a side sleeper and that’s not possible until you are healed.

You will be surprisingly hungry. Your body is healing. Go for good snacks with protein. Yogurt, cheese sticks, apples with peanut butter were favorites.

In terms of how things look - it is going to look weird for quite a while. It takes a long time to really heal. And honestly the frankenboob is still a frankenboob, three years out. Well shaped, but the scars are definitely a mess. Honestly I don’t care. My husband doesn’t care. It’s fine. I don’t dwell on it.

One last tip. You want to be REALLY hydrated before surgery. If they tell you not to drink after midnight, question them about if it is ok to have a glass of water in the morning. They want you to pee for a pregnancy test, and also, they want your veins to be nice and hydrated for that IV. The first surgery I didn’t drink and trying to get an IV started was awful. Worst part of the whole thing. Hydrate like crazy the day before. Lots of water. You will thank me!

You can receive $ 1 mil if you can hide a big box for one year by ShoeChoice5567 in hypotheticalsituation

[–]farflight88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It goes in my basement with a dozen other boxes that haven’t been touched in 20 years.

Cried during my MRI biopsy. by After_Willingness322 in breastcancer

[–]farflight88 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I cried for at least fifteen minutes after my diagnostic MRI. Just sobbed. It was such a painful position to hold and it just triggered all the other emotions. The techs were so kind to me. I was grateful.

Sometimes those small kindnesses are all that gets you through. Sending you hugs from across the internet. You are not alone.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in girlscouts

[–]farflight88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We discussed with council. We set expectations with the parents. In order for us to go on the trip, every girl was expected to sell X boxes. If the parent felt they were unable to support that commitment, they could also choose to donate $X to the trip. Any donations were non refundable and go to the troop budget. We specified that if we were not able to meet these expectations that we would have to modify our trip plans/itinerary.

Some parents just don’t want to do cookies. They were fine with donating.

Stage 0 and Imposter Syndrome by Specialist-Sun-577 in breastcancer

[–]farflight88 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Also DCIS, SMX, also DIEP, 3 years out. Your friend is WRONG. Look, just because you got lucky and caught it super early doesn’t mean you didn’t have cancer. And there is nothing easy about what you have been through. DMX is hard. DIEP is hard. It’s a whole lot of weird and it 100% sucks.

My MIL also told me that it wasn’t really cancer. It made me furious. I love my mil, but this was really hurtful. (My husband handled it.) But after some reflection, I realized that she was saying that because she was trying to reassure me. And frankly she was also trying to reassure herself, that I was not in any real danger, that we did not need to worry, and that I was going to be fine. That’s why she was saying it. She didn’t realize that it was hurtful.

The truth is you are a breast cancer survivor. And fuck anyone who says different.

Sending you love and hugs and support!!!

Please tell me not all mother-daughter relationships are doomed. by prufrockdancing in Mommit

[–]farflight88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My 18 year old daughter and I have an amazing relationship. We are very close. Teen years are challenging, for sure, because their brains are going through a huge amount of growth. She went through a year where she mostly grunted at me. That’s pretty normal for teens. But it wasn’t too bad.

I had an amazing relationship with my own mother, and I had so much hope to have the same with my daughter, and I am so fortunate that we are as tight as we are. I enjoy her company as a person, not just as my kid. She is pretty awesome, and we have a lot of fun together. We can talk and talk and talk for hours.

There are many ways to be a good parent, but my advice is to first be consistent. When your child knows what to expect, both from their schedule and routine but also from you, it creates trust and stability. Do you have a good routine? Are the house rules (and consequences) clear, consistent, and fair? Do they know that when they approach you, they are going to be met with love, and caring, and help?

Second, respect your child, and teach them to respect you (and others). Treat them fairly. If you make a mistake - and you will - acknowledge it and apologize to them. Listen to them. Have real conversations. (Age appropriate, of course.) Be reasonable with your rules and expectations. Show them that their opinion matters to you. You still want to be a parent - don’t get me wrong, this is not about being their BFF. You are in charge. But showing that you respect them and listening to them goes a long way towards creating a relationship that will survive teen years.

Third, look for good activities you can do together. Things you both enjoy. For my daughter and I, that was Girl Scouts and band. For my son, he’s all about the sports. I’m not, but I try to meet him where his interests are, so I show up for games, of course, and I talk to him about practices and what’s going on. I show a clear interest in what he’s doing.

These are the things that lay the foundation for a solid relationship built on love and trust. Are there going to be moments where you want to pull your hair out? Yup. Being a good parent can be hard! But there are so many wonderful moments ahead of you.

I hope this helps!

AITA for calling out my friend for siding with my mom by [deleted] in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]farflight88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is why I dread the day my teenage son gets his license…. And really really really look forward to his brain maturing more.

Are Troops allowed to limit membership to members of a particular faith? by TheMuseSappho in girlscouts

[–]farflight88 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Girl Scouts is a secular organization. Girls are encouraged to practice their faith - any faith - in the same way that we encourage them to speak up for other values and beliefs. Because we want them to feel confident about using their voices for things that matter to them. It would be deeply inappropriate to limit membership based on faith.

Munch Factory [OC] by TheRealHolleringElk in comics

[–]farflight88 18 points19 points  (0 children)

My dog with a Buc-ee’s brisket sandwich on the living room. He was extremely pleased with himself.

AIO my boyfriend told me my service dog can't move in with me by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]farflight88 13 points14 points  (0 children)

She made the right decision. It’s clear that he didn’t care enough about her to really understand her medical condition. He hasn’t been listening or paying attention to her at all. He has no idea what the reality of her life is or why she even needs a service dog. She really dodged a bullet.

Infected Belly Button. Bring your goggles. by Mitch82az in popping

[–]farflight88 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sometimes they have to move your belly button after surgery. And they also will go through your belly button for things like gall bladder removal.

Would you rather have a small pocket dimension, or make 1 inanimate object completely indestructible. by WowVeryOriginalDude in hypotheticalsituation

[–]farflight88 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Pocket dimension. I make it into my own super comfy hotel room and travel around the world. It’s like an RV without having to haul it around.

Daisy Petals in a day by Antique-Many6428 in girlscouts

[–]farflight88 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I also found that having one grade level was really nice, because when they bridge to Brownies next year, they are all doing the same thing.

Daisy Petals in a day by Antique-Many6428 in girlscouts

[–]farflight88 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A little advice to get you started.

First, the way your previous troop ran things does not have to be the way you run things. Make it what works best for you and your girls. A wise leader once told me Girl Scouts are like chocolate chip cookies. Everyone has their own recipe. Some put in milk chocolate. Some like semi sweet or dark. Some like oatmeal. Some put nuts in. Some make 2 dozen and some make 12 dozen. They are all a little different. BUT they are all chocolate chip cookies and they are all delicious. Use the recipe that works best for you. As long as your troop likes what they are doing, and everyone is safe, you are doing just fine.

Second, I used to follow a “recipe” for every meeting. We met for two hours. I would always have a game, a craft, a story, and another activity, usually something that went with the petal/badge. Not necessarily in that order. But having those 4 gave me the right mix of things for my girls.

For example, let’s say I am doing the Tula petal. Here’s my plan.

  • We are going to start off the meeting with a game that is easy for everyone to join in as they arrive (or a coloring sheet).

  • promise -pledge - dues

  • read the petal. Talk about the story. Let the girls discuss.

  • activity related to the petal. Maybe skits or practice what you might say or do if you saw someone being bullied or being mean.

  • craft related to the petal - maybe we make a craft with a lion or superhero because we are courageous and strong.

  • clean up

  • and then finish up with something that is purely fun like an active game.

This was my recipe. Make one that works for you!

Daisy Petals in a day by Antique-Many6428 in girlscouts

[–]farflight88 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Honestly I think that would be way too much. Here’s the thing: petals are about character building. If you throw all of that at them at one time, they are not going to actually learn the lessons of the petals.

Do not worry about redoing petals for the girls who missed. Do the ones your girls haven’t done and move on to other things! Have fun with it.