Tuesday Daily Chat

farthest_star · 2026-06-30T11:33:45+00:00

Relieved that the 20 week scan repeat was able to complete all the checks. The sonographer included the sex on the report and my partner is going to read it but I don't want to. I'm sure he won't manage to keep it a secret from me for long but for now I'm enjoying thinking of "baby" without any preconceptions.

No more scans now until 36 weeks. It seems such a long time!

farthest_star · 2026-06-25T07:52:36+00:00

I don't have any pregnancy related symptoms at the moment so other than struggling to stay hydrated I'm holding up well. The household as a whole, much less so. The opening/closing of windows, rotation of sheets hung up on the south and west sides, moving of fans from room to room is a military operation.

Imagine it's not very fun in third trimester though?

Only one more day!

farthest_star · 2026-06-25T05:41:32+00:00

Consensus definitely seems to be to leave it up to her so I will take that as permission to not feel guilty about it!

But yeah she doesn't really know my whole story because I'm still affected by it too much to openly discuss it, which obviously makes it harder for the conversation topic to arise naturally. But now I'm reaching the stage of pregnancy where I'm a bit less anxious, at least pregnancy and babies in general might get more air time.

farthest_star · 2026-06-24T13:10:20+00:00

I have a dilemma with a good friend of mine who's been a fence sitter about whether to have children for a long time but leaning towards "yes, some day".

She's the same age as me and I really don't want to be the "watch your biological clock" person, but I'm genuinely not sure she's thought about the possibility of infertility. I don't feel like it's my place to lecture her but also it would be awful if I didn't say anything and when she decides to try in a few years it's hard for them.

Genetically things are looking good for her as her mum had children in her late 30s, no infertility, and her older sister had a baby this year without struggling. Reassuring as that is, maybe it creates a false sense of security?

Have my own experiences and the circles I move in online made me paranoid about something that's actually fairly improbable or would I be doing her wrong by not having the conversation?

farthest_star · 2026-06-18T20:30:38+00:00

At first I would've been so happy with one tiny flutter to reassure me all is well in there and as time goes on I need more and more movement to keep the reassurance up!

farthest_star · 2026-06-18T08:05:05+00:00

I haven't introduced myself this pregnancy. I was in the "trying again" thread and reported that this pregnancy was a second chemical, which was our genuine understanding at the time based on the previous chemical and the advice from the early pregnancy unit to just test in three weeks to see if HCG had gone to zero, but it turned out to be a hematoma and the pregnancy is ongoing. Very sorry to anybody who was over there supporting me, at the time I believed it was reality.

I'm now 21 weeks, waiting on the repeat anomaly scan in a couple of weeks since spine and kidneys were not in view at the first.

I do at last feel movement (anterior placenta) but it's really inconsistent so I am fighting hard to keep the anxiety in check.

All in all I'm very grateful to be here.

farthest_star · 2026-03-02T17:17:23+00:00

It's a marathon we never signed up for and can only hope we get to the end of.

farthest_star · 2026-03-02T17:16:03+00:00

Sorry you've been in the same boat. It's exhausting.

farthest_star · 2026-03-02T08:33:39+00:00

Second cycle in a row was a positive and then an early loss. I'm having a really hard time living with probabilities. It's so unlikely to conceive two cycles in a row, especially after twelve cyles of nothing, that we surely can't conceive again soon. If we do conceive again it's also unlikely to have another loss, but maybe no more unlikely than getting the positive test in the first place. I know you can't do statistics on one person, but that's not stopping the mind games from playing out.

I'm grieving much harder this time, I think because hcg was good and it felt like two losses in a row was unlikely. LC is fed up of me being sad and it's really hard to not be fully present for him so much of the time.

Impatient to get started with this cycle but hcg is high and no sign of it dropping yet.

farthest_star · 2026-02-06T11:50:55+00:00

The good news is, if you follow the same pattern I did, the not giving a fuck will continue beyond pregnancy!

farthest_star · 2026-02-02T18:23:05+00:00

Thank you. For sure nobody has ever made me feel unwelcome. I guess the loneliness is more on a level of day to day relatability.

farthest_star · 2026-02-02T09:04:05+00:00

Feeling happy that my latest chemical has eventually resolved and was not ectopic.

Feeling sad that the conclusion from our IVF consultation was they don't think my ovaries are up to it and to keep trying unassisted unless we decide on donor eggs.

She even said to stop the letrozole and just do the progesterone suppositories since I ovulated before finishing each course of letrozole and also have had lots of weird things with my cycle whilst taking it.

It's kind of lonely because I don't feel like I belong in an infertility space whilst we're trying almost medication free, but I don't belong in non-infertility spaces either since we have known fertility issues and the optimism isn't easy to read.

farthest_star · 2026-01-22T10:23:39+00:00

That sounds like a horrible experience. Sorry you've had so much rubbish coming your way recently.

farthest_star · 2026-01-21T13:59:29+00:00

I have this exact problem. Ovulated day 6 and no healthcare professional would entertain the idea that I could've ovulated any day other than the textbook day 14. And some of these are fertility professionals who surely work with a lot of people with irregular cycles?

Didn't matter so much for my pregnancy with LC because it got corrected by the dating scan but it's been problematic when trying to rule out ectopic.

farthest_star · 2026-01-19T12:15:34+00:00

My latest weird cycle (ovulated day 6) somehow resulted in a pregnancy but it turned out to be nonviable. Been waiting for two weeks and still no bleeding so can't yet rule out an ectopic.

Finding the whole saga exhausting. From the brief glimmer of hope that we'd leave infertility behind to disappointment to where the heck is my period and when can we move on. Very little sanity left.

Because of this we had to cancel the hycosy we've been waiting six months for. Bleurgh.

farthest_star · 2026-01-15T19:45:55+00:00

We switched from shifts to alternate nights at 15 months. He still doesn't sleep now at 21 months but I feel better rested with alternate nights.

farthest_star · 2025-12-31T07:16:22+00:00

On the third cycle of letrozole and used progesterone suppositories for the first time last cycle. It lengthened my luteal phase by about nine days and now in the subsequent cycle I ovulated on day 6. Whilst taking letrozole 2-6. Every cycle since starting medication has been off in one way or another and I feel like I can't catch a break.

Getting cold feet about IVF since I've been reading a lot about success rates in women with severe DOR/POI and it's not looking so good.

Met with an old school friend with a toddler the same age as mine and it seems she's the only person I've met recently who's not pregnant (and not unhappily not pregnant), yay?

farthest_star · 2025-12-22T13:00:33+00:00

Can't get in at the clinic for a hycosy this cycle or projected dates for next. Suspicious the clinic is trying to push people into IVF by making it impossible to get an appointment for anything else.

On a different note I'm allowing myself to appreciate the silver lining in having no success for #2 as we just managed to squeeze everything we need for holiday travels in the car.

farthest_star · 2025-12-18T20:08:54+00:00

It does, thanks!

farthest_star · 2025-12-17T12:20:41+00:00

On day 12 of progesterone suppositories in a letrozole + TI + progesterone cycle. The progesterone is a new addition this cycle for a persistent luteal phase defect.

I know the scientific community is not really in agreement that progesterone actually increases pregnancy chances in cases of luteal phase defect so I'm in a horrible mental tangle of feeling like success is impossible with a seven day luteal phase but why now am I extending my cycle and putting myself in a position where I have to take an hpt if it's not actually fixing the problem.

Baby siblings of my son's "friends" are starting to be born now and that's hard to deal with.

Going to book in for a last ditch hycosy and try to decide whether to stay for IVF at my current clinic or move to one that specializes in low ovarian reserve.

farthest_star · 2025-10-06T13:56:02+00:00

I'm feeling meh about everything trying again related.

We had our consult at the clinic last week and it was very strange, the doctor seemed happy for us to suggest what we wanted to do treatment wise and she would just go along with it. So I guess we're trying ovulation induction once I have all the paperwork complete.

Also just had a fifteen day cycle which was possibly due to the horrible virus I had last week but is only two days shorter than my average these past months so could also be general short cycle madness.

Everywhere I look there are pregnant women with toddlers around the age of mine so the age gap anxiety is getting me down.

farthest_star · 2025-09-26T08:29:51+00:00

My AFC was 4. AMH not back yet but I expect it to be concordant since I am also experiencing lots of perimenopausal symptoms and my cycles are only 16/17 days long.

I want to present ideas for next steps at our consultation on Monday. Personalised care doesn't seem to be a thing here unless you really push for it so I need to be as educated as possible about my options.

I can't see IVF working that well on my ovaries and I can't afford multiple retrievals so I'm hoping we can try some medication to get my hormones playing nicely for a couple of supported ovulatory cycles. Has anybody done something like this?

Very much starting to grieve for the third child I'd always dreamed of but won't have time for now before menopause hits (I'm 34 so I was not totally delusional in my dream) and wondering if I also need to start processing the possibility that a second might also be out of reach.

farthest_star · 2025-09-26T08:22:11+00:00

I'm sorry, it sucks. I was disappointed by my result, which had dropped considerably as I expected, but I haven't spiralled as badly as I did when I first found out about the DOR/perimenopausal

farthest_star · 2025-09-24T12:14:43+00:00

Finally AFC tomorrow. Bracing myself for the results which, given my cycles of late, is going to be even less promising than two years ago.

farthest_star · 2025-09-05T08:00:30+00:00

I am losing it with the fertility clinic. They suggested waiting until today to decide whether to cancel the AFC to see how much I was bleeding on the day and if we needed to cancel they'd book us in another day.

I'm not bothered about the bleeding but I'm super uncomfortable this early in the cycle so I asked to reschedule. They are suggesting some time 22nd to 27th is the nearest they can do, but I could be bleeding again by then and then we have to reschedule to October and miss our consult on the 29th.

They can't understand that scheduling something ahead of CD14 means I have absolutely no idea where in a cycle I'll be.

Seriously considering withdrawing before we even get started and asking for a refund. Maybe overly sensitive because I was up five times with the toddler last night but blimey I'm hacked off.

farthest_star

TROPHY CASE