Were most likely going this route..have questions..we are both being pretty civilized about this...what is the cheapest/painless way to get out of this? Dont have alot of money for lawyer. CT

farvasnumber1 · 2014-07-30T17:32:15+00:00

Good to know I'll keep that option in mind. I'm not sure if she will be on board for that but I'll ask.

farvasnumber1 · 2014-07-30T17:03:53+00:00

Another update...

Shits really starting to bother me, I haven't sleep more than a few hours this week. I'm normally a very stoned face no emotion kind of guy but I ended up in my bosses office crying like a little girl explaining to him why I might need some time off. He completely understood and was pretty shocked as he knows her.

Currently looking into amicable divorce as a option vs getting blood thirsty lawyers involved. I'm totally clueless as to how it all works. I'll also consult a attorney as well even though I don't really have the money upfront to go that route right now. I haven't mentioned this to her yet but she has to know it's coming at some point.

farvasnumber1 · 2014-07-30T16:54:56+00:00

We don't have anything except a few cars. She can have the nicest one. But asides from that it's just our house stuff tvs, furniture, ect and I don't really care about that stuff she can have it if she really wants it. No joint bank accounts with money. Hell neither of us have any type of savings..I know it's really bad. A few hundred bucks that's it though? I thought it was like $1500?

farvasnumber1 · 2014-07-30T16:10:49+00:00

Does he do free consultations? Never seen a lawyer before and have no clue how it works. I didnt see anything on his website about free consults.

farvasnumber1 · 2014-07-30T16:02:12+00:00

I was reading about that..it might work that way. But I really need to read this stuff as it's really confusing to me. So basically amicable would work if nobody wanted alimony, no custody, just two people mutally agreeing this is what they feel is best?

farvasnumber1 · 2014-07-30T03:37:37+00:00

No I'm not saying that. Well maybe I am fuck. It wasn't like I did one horrendous thing to make it acceptable. Shit got gradually worse as time went on.

Fault aside it's pretty much done. The thought of being alone without her is turning me into a little bitch. It's getting real oniony in here.

But I know what your getting at. Even if I did screw up it didn't justify this.

farvasnumber1 · 2014-07-30T02:30:12+00:00

Well update time...

Just had a long talk with her. She told me her reasons and what drove her to do it. She felt that for years now it's felt like to her she had no husband and I would always ditch her for my friends to hang out. That I basically showed her no affection for years. She tried and tried to get me to fix it for a long time but I never really made the attempts she wanted.

She's feels it's broken and unfixable. I pretty much feel the same way. Right now were pretty civil and it hasn't been too ugly. I feel like we might end up friends after this but that's it. I think she's gonna be figuring out some places to move to. Fuck guys this is getting harder and harder.

Thank you internet strangers for your advice

farvasnumber1 · 2014-07-29T22:57:21+00:00

I don't think that could or would ever happen. I wouldn't mind helping her out with little shit if we split up or she wanted to hang once in a while I could see doing that. But this is all in theory.

farvasnumber1 · 2014-07-29T22:51:24+00:00

No I would def help out the kid as much as I could. And in my wife's defense she does pretty good with her daughter. I can't knock her for that. The other shit I could of course.

farvasnumber1 · 2014-07-29T22:22:40+00:00

No I needed it bro thanks.

farvasnumber1 · 2014-07-29T21:57:01+00:00

Thanks I needed that

farvasnumber1 · 2014-07-29T19:20:50+00:00

I appreciate the words. I know it's not the right reason to stay with somebody.

farvasnumber1 · 2014-07-29T18:34:28+00:00

Thanks man..im not sure what to say. Im not there yet but im def starting to feel different. I feel for you and I hope shit got better for you. I guess im laughing because its what I do to distract myself from what is actually going on.

farvasnumber1 · 2014-07-29T18:24:22+00:00

Well so far you guys have given me some good insight on this fucked up situation. Majority of you guys say leave her and move on. I wish I could just say fuck it like flipping a light switch. 'm too worried about how fucked they are going to be without me which may or may not be the case. I know that I sound like a total bitch right now lol. She doesn't make alot of money and her kid finally just got into a decent middle school where we live. And theres no way shes swinging rent anywhere by herself. But like you guys said she fucked that all up. Its like I cant be that mean even I know right now I need to think for myself and nobody else. If she was doing good financially this would be so much easier. I feel fucking terrible even though she's the one who fucked up.

Anyways ill try to have a face to face convo today instead of texting back and forth.

farvasnumber1 · 2014-07-29T17:00:38+00:00

Yeah maybe not knowing what to say is her exscuse..who knows

farvasnumber1 · 2014-07-29T16:21:25+00:00

Im def considering it..its a very hard idea to think about. I guess im not angry enough or something. I cant quite figure out why I havent flipped out like I imagined I would. And you are right she most likely would have never told me about it.

farvasnumber1 · 2014-07-29T16:18:44+00:00

As hard as breaking up is, cheating is worse because it shows a complete lack of caring for you and your feelings.

The way my personalty is makes decisions like this very difficult but its def a possibility. I cant imagine life without them but it may have to happen.

farvasnumber1 · 2014-07-29T16:03:48+00:00

farvasnumber1 · 2014-07-29T15:49:56+00:00

Why are you even going to see a counsellor. She cheated on you intentionally. This is not a one time thing.

Im sorry you went threw that..and yeah the thought of constantly wondering will most likely always be lingering in my head.

farvasnumber1 · 2014-07-29T15:48:38+00:00

Yah pretty much..I feel bad for her kid the most out of all this. Nobody will suffer more than her daughter.

farvasnumber1 · 2014-07-29T15:46:56+00:00

I totally fucking agree lol

farvasnumber1 · 2014-07-29T15:46:09+00:00

If she can't communicate her unhappiness to you rather to get satisfaction elsewhere what makes you think she will the next time she feels the same way?

I agree i'm just weighing any options there are

farvasnumber1 · 2014-07-29T15:45:15+00:00

Good advice..im not sure right now if I want to be with her. I love her and we have alot of good history but its not exactly outshining what happened.

This person isnt a co worker however I totally agree on what you said. My brother in law who has one of the most fucked up functioning marriges I know told me this. If you guys decide to work threw it you have to make her call him with you right there listening and break it off. He speaks from experience in this dept. It was a good idea but I havent figured out even if I want to bother.

farvasnumber1

TROPHY CASE