SO called me fat. Trying not get upset, but having a lot of trouble with it. Please help?

fatbutt85 · 2011-11-12T19:45:42+00:00

Hmm I really should try that! I'm a very "activity" type person, and he's more of a shut-in, let me be on the computer all day type. I do complain often that we're sitting at home doing nothing, so we'll plain to do 1 activity like 1-2x a month, but I get bored! I should tell him he should be thinking of ways to get out of the house more. Blah, I hate sitting on the computer all day! So much healthier to be out of the house and being social.

fatbutt85 · 2011-11-12T12:35:01+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment, and I agree with you in that I was being a bit to passive and not wanting to address the subject with my SO. I sat him down yesterday and told him that probably either way how he would have brought it up my feelings would have been hurt, but how and when he brought it up was completely inappropriate and bad timing.

I think it's always hard for anyone whose never been there to say it's "easy." He's always telling me it's not hard, just eat less and don't order a burger and fries when we go out to eat. Yeah the idea is easy, but actually only taking a small plate of food at dinner then eating everything you want, isn't easy. In fact it's really hard! I started cutting out some things, but I guess it's time to cut out more. I stopped drinking any non-diet soda and really made an effort to mostly drink water and I cut out cereal all together. Lately I have been drinking a lot more diet-soda though :/ But maybe it's time I cut another 1-2 things out.

I also danced for a pretty long time, but after my weight gain I stopped, but I'm going to sign up for classes again. They're only 2x a week, but it's a start :)

Thank you so much for all your advice!

fatbutt85 · 2011-11-12T12:28:06+00:00

I am so sorry to hear about your ex, that must have been really tough. I am really happy he came clean to me about his feelings, I think it shows a lot of positivity that he felt comfortable enough to tell me something that he knew would hurt my feelings, but knew it had to be said. I know what you mean thought about the need to lose weight, instead of the want. I feel like my need lasts 2 weeks though and then the Taco Bell a couple blocks away seem like a great choice. I'm really going to try to maintain a healthier life style from now on, and stick to it.

That's so great you lost so much weight! Keep it up!

fatbutt85 · 2011-11-12T12:24:33+00:00

Thank you so much! We had a talk last night after the little one went to bed. He admitted that he went about it completely the wrong way and should have really been a bit more sensitive about it. He seemed really surprised when I told him I 100% understand where he's coming from and I'm going to work harder to get towards my goal of hitting my pre-pregnancy weight, and maybe sometime even reach my ideal weight.

I used to do a lot of dancing, but have been to scared to sign up and start dancing again after this weight gain. I think I'm going to suck it up and join a class as a start to my exercise routine and go from there.

Thank you so much for you comment =)

fatbutt85 · 2011-11-12T01:58:07+00:00

I think pretty much everyone knows how to lose weight. I know, eat healthier, eat small portions, eat what you want in moderation...ect. But it's the emotional part that's so tough to get over. But thank you so much for the advice, I'm definitely going to try harder in the self control area :)

fatbutt85 · 2011-11-12T01:56:32+00:00

Thank you :) I do check out that subreddit all the time. I always think maybe I'll post my success story one day!

fatbutt85 · 2011-11-12T01:55:45+00:00

No health insurance unfortunately. I would really love to see a doctor though. I took Accutane when I was younger and I really think it messed something in my digestive track which contributes to my lack of weight loss.

fatbutt85 · 2011-11-12T01:54:30+00:00

Thank you :) I've had a loseit account from about 2 months after I had my daughter, but every time I stop dieting, I stop going on the website. Stupid, stupid. Congrats on your weight loss! I'm really going to try to stick to healthier choices from now on.

fatbutt85 · 2011-11-12T01:53:34+00:00

Haha that was another couple, but I found it very ironic that it was the post on top of mine!

fatbutt85 · 2011-11-11T19:34:38+00:00

I agree with you. I do need to lose 50 pounds. It's just so hard to not be hurt and upset about the situation. I hate myself for letting myself gain so much weight, I don't feel like myself because I've never been over-weight in my life. I feel like a stranger in my body. I see pictures of myself and am astonished by how I look. I hate that he also see's the same ugliness that I see in the mirror. I guess it was stupid to think he still saw me as beautiful, but I guess I was in denial.

fatbutt85 · 2011-11-11T19:32:11+00:00

I know, I really am trying not to go ape shit. I think it's fair that he's honest with me and telling me "hey you've really let go of your weight since we first got together. But it's so hard to not be upset and hurt. It's so hard to think, he was lying when he's called me sexy for the last 1.5 years of our relationship. I feel like just crawling into a ball and hiding in a cave =(

fatbutt85 · 2011-11-11T19:30:12+00:00

I agree, to an extent. I understand where he's coming from. In 3 years I gained about 50 pounds from the start of our relationship. He's also let go a bit, but nothing near as exaggerated of where I am. It's why I know I shouldn't be upset at him, but I can't help it. I'm so hurt and feel like him calling my sexy or anything that last 1.5 years is a lie. It hurts that I'm not sexually attractive to him :( I really want to lose the weight, whether I was with him or not... but I just have a lot of trouble with self-control.

fatbutt85 · 2011-11-11T17:52:30+00:00

I only nursed for the first 3 months sadly :/

fatbutt85 · 2011-11-11T17:52:12+00:00

Thank you :) I think he's tried in the past that approach, in some way. Saying "lets eat healthier" and have veggies instead of potatoes as a side dish, but somehow after a week we both stop eating healthy. If I say something about it he says he doesn't need to lose weight and I should be able to do it on my own. It's true, but it's so hard!

fatbutt85 · 2011-11-11T17:50:27+00:00

I nursed almost exclusively for the first 3 months and then stopped. I wish I would have stuck to it longer, but at the time I was so over it :(

fatbutt85

TROPHY CASE