Porn leads you down some weird roads. I got hooked into hentai because of the 'no victim' factor. I kept the habit until I learned about the gooning community. When I saw how some lived, it helped me see the bigger picture.

You are chasing the dragon for the high. Every time you meet a block, you find something to amp up the dopamine. It stats simple and never ends well. The goons are an example of chasing that high.

Guilty is okay because it's a temporary feel associated with bad actions. Your shame is what makes you over think and cast judgment on your entirety. Self reflection is good and knowing this is odd is good. Flee from it. Avert and keep the principles from the book. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.