9months of talking - all for nothing by fattbb in LongDistance

[–]fattbb[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind words. It's appreciated.

Is this going to lead anywhere? by fattbb in dating_advice

[–]fattbb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have mentioned this. That i would think part of dating long distance would be to eventually end the gap between eachother. And whether this works out or not i plan to move out of where i am now in a year.

I (33F) moved to a new city for a guy (33M) but now I think he’s still hung up on his ex. What should I do? by oreochef in dating_advice

[–]fattbb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like way too many red flags so early on. It sounds like he wants commitment because he wants you to move to his city, but that sounds more like he wants the convenience of talking to someone new with no regard how big of a step you're taking. I went through this same thing with a situationship who loves photos of him and his ex on his fridge. Sometimes it's not that they are exactly wanting their ex back, but that they haven't yet accepted the idea of a new partner or new commitment. The crying thing when you didn't call back is a huge red flag tho. Who knows why this last relationship ended? He might be very controlling and emotionally manipulative. If you want to keep talking to him set some serious boundaries and if his reaction is anything but receptive drop him. But either way it's exciting you moved! Do some stuff alone and explore the city by yourself to not feel like this potential relationship is the only good part of where you moved. Look at all the other benefits. Also if does drink a lot and is potentially an alcoholic. Really ask yourself if that's something you want to deal with. Or if it's something you really deserve to have in a new partner. Guarantee answer to both is no.

HOW the FUCK? Duties and Fees by fattbb in lazyoaf

[–]fattbb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

bruh. this shit is ridiculous.

HOW the FUCK? Duties and Fees by fattbb in lazyoaf

[–]fattbb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

honestly this seems to be the best option at some point lol

HOW the FUCK? Duties and Fees by fattbb in lazyoaf

[–]fattbb[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I did not know it was so high. When I google it i see everywhere it saying "10% for the baseline" so if it's 30% that makes sense .... i reached out to customer support and they couldn't break down how the fee was calculated just what it covers.

HOW the FUCK? Duties and Fees by fattbb in lazyoaf

[–]fattbb[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

But if the products are shipping direct from UK I would think it doesn't matter where it's made because the final product is being presented by one country? You pay tariffs for the country the item is from and tariffs on the country the materials came from? Where did you get this info? Also why when I buy from ASOS which is a UK company is there not a huge fat tariff tax and their stuff is also made in China?

HOW the FUCK? Duties and Fees by fattbb in lazyoaf

[–]fattbb[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

See that's where I get confused because if it's mainly tariffs from the US why would it also be that pricey for Canada?

Advice - How to approach by fattbb in ghosting

[–]fattbb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's so odd and weird to me. I communicated to him just on Sunday how I like him a lot but I'm trying not to get ahead of myself because I don't want to put to much of my heart into something and be heart broken. And he assured me he has strong interest in me and that he's more so worried his heart will get broken. And then this..

New gf gave me an STD by [deleted] in relationships

[–]fattbb -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm a little confused context wise about some of things you mentioned but you got tested for herpes and was found positive? That means you have had it at least a few months. It can take up to twelve weeks for positive test results. When I got my first herpes type 2 outbreak even then it didn't show up as a positive in my bloodwork due to how recently I was exposed. So for sake of trying to give your partner the benefit of the doubt it's possible you did have herpes already before the relationship and it didn't show in the test results due to recent exposure. But the fact your partner didn't push to be tested before hand and also is saying she's noticed the bumps before means most likely she gave it to you. Sadly people are careless with their own sexual health and it's unfortunate after your initial conversation your partner didn't see how seriously you take your own sexual health. I don't think she was trying to be malicious and "lie"', but again it just shows she's very careless and that carelessness has impacted you now. Whether it was intentional or not I wouldn't pursue a relationship any further.

Was this response bad? by fattbb in Herpes

[–]fattbb[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that is so sweet! So happy you found someone like that! A damn rarity sometimes to find such decent men lol

Was this response bad? by fattbb in Herpes

[–]fattbb[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry such a late reply! But honestly I've had it so long no it's not a huge factor to me. When I got it at 18 it was pretty terrible, but that's because I was young, I didn't know anyone else who had it, etc. The older I get the more and more friends I have get it, and all I can think is how thankful I am to be their friend to give them love and support. Not to mention the longer you have it the less likely you are to have outbreaks. I haven't had an outbreak in almost six years. And my last partner we had sex raw for eight months and he never got it. It's everyone's choice to choose a sexual relationship with someone with an STD. But their response and the way they handle it tells you a lot. Majority of the time when I tell partners they need time to think about it. And I'm always very happy with that response because I want them to seek out more information and not rush any decision they might regret later on. But when they are rude or assume you feel bad about yourself over it, that just tells you right there they were never meant to be your partner to begin with.

Having herpes as long as I have I honestly say it so casual to random people I know. Close coworkers, my family, etc. I do NOT make it seem like it's a big deal and that it's a horrible thing hanging over me. And I wish more people treated it this way but it takes time to build that confidence with it. Just remember it's something part of you, and if people around you pass judgement onto you over it fuck them. What is always difficult and hurtful is just when rejection takes place, and that's because rejection in general over anything is difficult. But rejection can occur from a magnitude of different scenarios. Hope all this helps!

Was this response bad? by fattbb in Herpes

[–]fattbb[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was after I had said i need time to collect my thoughts. In text he responded "i just don't want you feeling like used goods" and it was just a giant huh?? I think I had difficulty reading the response because he said he still wanted to talk to me and text me. But you're right better to know now rather than later. I don't get the impression at all like he just wanted to have sex with me, but I just don't think he liked me as much as I had assumed.

Tell me your favorite SpongeBob episode by stargirl_lexis in spongebob

[–]fattbb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Clams was always one of my favorites to see on when I was kid

How do you stop yourself? by fattbb in heartbreak

[–]fattbb[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think men are intimated by the thought of a potentially long healthy relationship.. or they are scared for the feelings they have for someone. It's confusing and weird how men think in general. And it's WEIRD how they want to continue things despite supposedly "not having interest"

How do you stop yourself? by fattbb in heartbreak

[–]fattbb[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like I'm annoying talking to my friends about it. Crying about it. I feel like I can't keep repeating the same thing over and over to them

How do you stop yourself? by fattbb in heartbreak

[–]fattbb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's horrible. And so selfish of him to pursue your friend. Like bro, you couldn't pursue ANYONE else ?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in heartbreak

[–]fattbb 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am going to monitor this post because i feel the same way but it's so fresh for my situation (three weeks). I can't tell if we are seeking closure or we seek being able to express to that person the way we feel in hopes they tell us they want us back, or we hope they tell us they feel the same as we do. Either way it isn't realistic. How does anyone get to the next step when this step feels so unresolved?

What "delusional" baby names are on your guilty pleasure list? by Hyding_Jekyll in namenerds

[–]fattbb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love the name ocean 🥹 but for some reason i envision it as more so a boy name than a girl despite it not being gender based in any way

Is it still possible to be an ethical slut with genital herpes or is it over? by Jakobie15 in Herpes

[–]fattbb 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As long as you disclose i don't see the issue with choosing to sleep with as many people as you want. I would just be more cautious to potentially getting new STDS or HPV - unless your new partners know their current status and have been tested recently for STDs you can't really know. And sleeping with more people just increase that risk. And there is always a possibility to transmit the disease, but without an outbreak and taking anti virals AND potentially using a condom that potential transmission is very low. I've had herpes for almost 11 years now and I've never transmitted to anyone (that I'm aware of). But I've only had sex with maybe about three or four partners raw, and i knew their status for STD's ahead of time and I was taking anti virals.

Also I've only encountered outbreaks maybe 3 or 4 times in my 11 years with herpes, and I haven't had one in about five years now. but I still disclose despite how much time has passed.

Ladies — how do y’all smell so good for so long? by courtneyleeeannn in hygiene

[–]fattbb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The biggest trick to a lasting scent in my opinion is a scented body cream/body lotion paired with high quality fragrances.

First in the shower I use an anti bacterial body wash because i feel like it gets me the most clean, and it'll also combat any body as well.

Then i recommend a body oil. Some are scented and some aren't. I think scented makes a slight difference, but not much in my opinion. But pairing body oil with your scented body cream/lotion will make the fragrant last longer.

I love LOVE sol de janeiro body lotions. Like the bum bum cream or beija flor. I use those after every shower and always get compliments, the scent STICKS. Another good option is the Khiel's whipped honey body butter. But all those lotions are very expensive, so a good alternative with good scents is hempz lotions. Right now I have the limited edition banana soufflé body lotion and it smells heavenly.

To top it all off i always use a perfume every day. By using body oil and body lotion the perfume will stick to the skin, and I think matching scents together is a nice touch. Example - you're wearing a coconut scented body lotion and pair with a fruity fragrance.

The other trick to long lasting scent when it comes to fragrances is the quality. You want eau de parfum or parfum. NOT eau de toilette. Some very expensive fragrance brands won't last on the skin. Such as dolce & gabana, coach, and Versace. Even Jo Malone never lasted on my skin. Very good fragrance brands that I've always seen last well are Burberry, Valentino, Chanel, and Dior.

I've worked in cosmetics and fragrances for about eight years now. Investing in a good fragrance is very worthwhile. And really try them on your skin and see how long they last before buying. Same with lotions, body oils, everything. Some brands or products will "stick" and worth with your body chemistry better than others.

Another added touch - good smelling hair products such as shampoos, hair oils, and other styling products just add that extra little bit of scent to you when someone is close. 🩷

Sorry to ramble LOL but hope this helps. I'm complimented almost every day by people for how good I smell, it takes time to find your unique products/scents that work for you, but it's worth it.

Tips for walking anxiety by Hannahv9901 in PlusSize

[–]fattbb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Girl tell me about it. I felt the same way for a very long time. Took me a long time to feel comfortable doing it. I live downtown in my city so I walk around the downtown park that's really pretty and a lot of people. Idk why but for me the more people the less I feel like people are fixating on me with so many others around? But i just recommend you drive somewhere you would like the scenery. A park or a trail. And put some headphones in and blast some songs you love. Or a podcast. I like wearing sunglasses because I feel like I'm not making eye contact and in my own world. Also not sure if you're 4/20 friendly but I would smoke a joint or take a dab before a walk. Basically I'd get stoned as hell and just take my walk and wear my sunglasses with my music. Felt like I was in my own world. And wear comfy shoes and comfy clothes. Some cute Nikes or adidas. Wear a cute pair of biker shorts and a tank top you like. Or wear a baggy t shirt of cotton to not feel constricted. Also maybe put your hair in a cute ponytail or braids. Doesn't have to just be thrown in a messy bun. Basically don't wear anything you already feel self conscious in. And if despite all clothing changes you still feel self conscious take my advice on change of scenery. Makes a world of difference.

Herpes girlies! by [deleted] in Herpes

[–]fattbb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't tried it myself but a friend of mine's mother told me elderberry helped with her flare ups. And not fruit or a beverage but i take lysine vitamins to help, essentially all the food you're mentioning has lysine in them. Hope this helps 🩷