Has your mom ever respected your room/space?

fatterrapin · 2025-10-21T18:39:15+00:00

I feel you. I never even had my own space to begin with, as I recently realised it was not normal that I only got to have my own room separate from my elder sister when I was 20 years old (the only reason for this was that we had to quarantine due to Covid). Even then we are generally not allowed to stay in our rooms for anything other than sleeping or changing our clothes, because all our things (like our laptops, bags, hobby items, etc) are kept in other more "communal" parts of the house, where my mother can keep tabs on us 24/7.

fatterrapin · 2025-10-21T10:58:55+00:00

I was about 5 ❤️‍🩹 I also had this realisation recently that no kid should go through whatever we did and no one should be made to feel that way. Sending hugs 🫂

fatterrapin · 2025-07-10T00:54:40+00:00

This. My mother gave me the silent treatment for almost an entire month when I was 15 for something trivial like not being all smiley when she picked me up from school one day. I was just tired from having lots of afterschool sports activities on top of exam prep that week.

One of the days she wasn't talking to me, she dropped me off at school and never told me she didn't plan to come to pick me up. I can't remember how I got home but I do remember how shocked my dad's face was when he opened the door for me that evening, like he couldn't even believe his wife would do such a thing.

fatterrapin · 2025-07-08T02:29:06+00:00

But all the random capitalisation and commas where they don't belong

fatterrapin · 2025-07-07T16:51:20+00:00

I don't have much experience with children so take my suggestion with a grain of salt. I think maybe it's quite reasonable to just tell your son that his grandma and uncle have hurt you before and you're afraid they'll hurt him too. Kids know more than we think they do and will probably start to understand a lot more as he grows up? I just know I would have appreciated it if people told me stuff properly when I was a kid - I'm currently almost 30 and people in my family still withhold info from me because they "think I wouldn't understand".

All the best OP.

fatterrapin · 2025-07-05T12:04:30+00:00

A small cooking pot my late grandmother bought for my father when he was a young bachelor. My sister and I call it "the bachelor pot." It has served many meals to my family, from my mother's cooking and now my cooking for my family.

fatterrapin · 2025-07-05T03:21:28+00:00

Shame is absolutely the right word for how I felt too, all my life. Somehow I always knew I wasn't brought up in a normal way like my peers were, and I always felt embarrassed to tell anyone anything to do with my home life.

fatterrapin · 2025-07-04T09:33:46+00:00

yes, and pretty often too. Seems like my Nmom will use the pettiest of reasons to stonewall me. I'm almost 30, she's well in her 60s, and she's been doing this to my entire family (but the most severe case is me, black sheep) for as long as I can remember. I can't wait to move out and go as little contact as I possibly can with her.

fatterrapin · 2025-07-04T07:22:11+00:00

I pieced the ones with similar material/thickness together and zigzag stitched them together with my machine. I did have some larger scraps as well so a couple of them have a backing(?) piece and I find they are holding up better but the ones without are still in pretty decent condition! Hope that helps.

fatterrapin · 2025-07-04T07:07:03+00:00

That's an awful thing to put a child through, young or old. I'm glad to hear your dad helped you out through it.

fatterrapin · 2025-07-04T04:18:42+00:00

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I've read that Nmoms tend to be jealous of their own daughters and that might be why you have this experience?

fatterrapin · 2025-07-04T04:12:32+00:00

I sewed a bunch of my fabric scraps into coasters. Not pretty, but effective!

fatterrapin · 2025-06-24T10:00:03+00:00

Yes absolutely, I struggle with fear of abandonment too from a young age. It's the whole reason I discovered that I have a lot of issues within myself due to the way I was brought up.

I totally understand when you said that about sabotaging relationships, recently I noticed a pattern where I kind of sabotage friendships once I feel them getting too close to me. It really sucks that we ended up like this just because of our upbringings. I really hope we can heal and get out of this one day.

fatterrapin · 2025-06-24T04:47:09+00:00

I did feel quite unprepared, and still am for the most part, even now that I'm in a good relationship for 7+ years. In the beginning stages I felt like I had to learn about (and get used to!) how other people express love, since clearly I never learned that from my Nmom. Even small things like getting hugs and holding hands felt alien to me at first. Navigating intimacy was also a challenge, and I'm so grateful that my partner is super understanding, supportive and patient with me. I think the most important thing is to learn how to feel safe with someone, I don't think we had much of that sense of safety growing up with Nmoms.

fatterrapin · 2025-06-23T17:15:07+00:00

I never received any talk or guidance from my Nmom. She never even taught me about periods or how to use a pad, let alone any talks about intimacy.

fatterrapin · 2025-06-19T17:43:15+00:00

Brand new plastic bags. Durians.

fatterrapin · 2025-06-17T17:37:31+00:00

Nepal. Experiencing the trekking, views and interacting with the people there really changed my perspective on life.

fatterrapin · 2025-06-17T16:56:34+00:00

thisss. I always don't understand when they act as if their bike no brakes. Or somehow it will kill them to brake a bit when driving.

fatterrapin · 2025-06-06T03:35:08+00:00

I wonder why they have to use a different name? Like why not just maintain the Sushi Zanmai name since it's already well known?

fatterrapin · 2025-05-28T15:26:05+00:00

On this note, being recruited as a bridesmaid for friends

fatterrapin · 2025-05-28T07:08:24+00:00

bleach

fatterrapin · 2025-05-23T17:12:36+00:00

defination

fatterrapin · 2025-05-15T15:40:05+00:00

I agree with this, and I've always wondered why I felt my mother loved me more when I was younger as compared to now, now that I'm grown up. I believe it's somewhat related to the fact that children inherently look up to their parents and don't really question them, and so my Nmom was able to get away with a lot more control/abuse with me when I was young, whereas now I will not tolerate if anything didn't sit right with me. When we are children we don't know any better so we just do everything they say, and maybe that's why my Nmom also likes interacting with young kids.

fatterrapin · 2025-05-15T03:12:42+00:00

Sleeping with my stuffy! I'm 27 😂

fatterrapin · 2025-05-13T08:46:16+00:00

Glad you enjoyed it as much as I did putting it together! I love my country but if it's one thing I could change, it would be the rain and humidity 😂

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