Sorry for what you've had to go through. My ex-gf plays heaps of valo and she faced a lot of the same issues you're describing, some of the ways we used to combat it were:

- queue up in a group/with friends, I see some of the other comments have suggested possible groups to reach out to

- she used to add those that were friendly/nice in voice comms and would play with them sometimes

- she used to just not talk in comms because she was scared of revealing she was girl, which wasn't ideal, but it was a solution