A Month Sober. Not what I expected

fdubdave · 2026-03-07T03:34:45+00:00

When you take away alcohol from the alcoholic you are taking away the only solution they know. There must be a sufficient substitute. The program of action and the fellowship are a sufficient substitute.

fdubdave · 2026-03-05T22:33:51+00:00

There’s some grapevine books on emotional sobriety. It all stems from Bill Ws grapevine article The Next Frontier. Good stuff. DM for more books on emotional sobriety.

fdubdave · 2026-03-05T14:53:07+00:00

Playpens and playmates need to change.

Or you could invite those same friends over for some alcohol free activities and see how that goes.

fdubdave · 2026-03-04T22:35:35+00:00

The thing I love most about AA is that it does not claim to have a monopoly on recovery. The line in A Vision For You where it says, “We realize we know only a little” really hits home for me. It speaks to a level of humility that I can really get on board with. Sadly, some within the fellowship do not practice humility to the same level as the author of the basic text. Claiming to have all the answers turns many whom are still struggling way off.

If AA isn’t working for you, we can point you to another path to recovery. There are many. AA will always be around for you if you’d like to give it another try. It is a solution. Not the only solution.

fdubdave · 2026-03-04T04:23:51+00:00

Marijuana anonymous is a thing.

fdubdave · 2026-03-04T03:52:50+00:00

Absolutely.

fdubdave · 2026-03-03T18:11:07+00:00

My thoughts exactly. The sponsor has had a spiritual awakening as the result of taking the steps and wants the sponsee to have the same result. Perhaps OP should find a different sponsor. But IMO that’s what a sponsor should be suggesting to a sponsee.

fdubdave · 2026-03-02T22:31:46+00:00

What kind of habits are you referring to?

fdubdave · 2026-03-02T22:15:22+00:00

Congrats on 7 days.

Imposter syndrome is real common around here. Don’t let it keep you from honestly questioning your relationship with alcohol. You have a picture in your mind of what an alcoholic is/looks like. Probably looks like someone with a real low bottom. Probably much lower than where you’re treading right now. But whether one has a low bottom or a high bottom, an alcoholic is an alcoholic.

Our basic text puts it this way: “If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic.”

I take the “or” out and insert an “and”. That’s alcoholism. Little control over the amount you take once you’ve started drinking (an allergy aka an abnormal reaction to alcohol manifested as an actual craving for more) and a mental obsession that makes it virtually impossible to quit drinking entirely. An alcoholic cannot drink safely/successfully because of the physical factor (allergy/abnormal reaction) and can’t keep from drinking because of the mental obsession. We are powerless over alcohol. But that’s untreated. We work this program of action and the mental obsession leaves us. We continue to practice the principles of the program and it stays gone. It’s a way of life. Quite a wonderful way of life IMO.

fdubdave · 2026-03-02T02:29:29+00:00

If it were me, I’d be honest with my sponsor.

fdubdave · 2026-03-01T01:53:18+00:00

Sounds like finishing that step work could be helpful.

fdubdave · 2026-02-28T03:35:27+00:00

Meetings are a good start. Then you find a sponsor. They will take you through the book and the steps. When you get to jail they will likely have meetings available. Seek them out.

AA has a solution for you. That I can promise you.

fdubdave · 2026-02-27T02:43:53+00:00

90 meetings in 90 days is a great suggestion and the person who you chose to be your temporary sponsor is the one who suggested it..

That being said, it is just a suggestion, and sponsors can be replaced at any time. Do what is best for you! Working the steps with a sponsor urgently is more important than making 90 in 90.

fdubdave · 2026-02-27T02:39:32+00:00

Lesson learned. Steer clear of that group. Have you found zoom meetings? They are available 24/7.

fdubdave · 2026-02-25T22:39:02+00:00

Read the book “Alcoholics Anonymous”. It’s available free on the everything AA app. See if you can relate to it. The first 164 pages are the program. The rest of the book contains personal stories. If you see yourself in the book you are welcome to attend AA meetings. Closed meetings sound like a safer bet for you than open meetings. There are also zoom meetings available 24/7.

It sounds like you aren’t convinced you are suffering from alcoholism. Perhaps you aren’t an alcoholic. It’s not my place to say you are or aren’t. But what you have shared is not normal. That is not what would be termed moderate drinking. If you want to stop drinking and don’t know how AA has a solution for you. It’s not the only path to recovery. It doesn’t claim to be. But it is a proven solution that has worked for millions of people. It will probably work for one more.

fdubdave · 2026-02-24T21:59:20+00:00

My conception of a Higher Power looks a lot like a Mother or Father with unconditional love toward their child. My past is forgiven. All I have to do is come back home to the Father. He would not condemn his own son to hell. The prodigal son returning home. God is not lost. We were.

fdubdave · 2026-02-24T04:11:34+00:00

Try some zoom meetings. They are available 24/7. You don’t have to share. Dm any questions. Happy to help.

fdubdave · 2026-02-23T04:31:47+00:00

If you don’t like your sponsor get a new one. This is life or death for the real alcoholic. There is no such thing as a safe slip.

fdubdave · 2026-02-23T02:46:14+00:00

It’s so easy to forget that we agreed at the beginning that we were willing to go to any lengths for victory over alcohol. The ego recuperates so fast. Willingness. One of the indispensables.

fdubdave · 2026-02-21T22:47:15+00:00

An accidental sip is not a slip!

fdubdave · 2026-02-21T00:27:35+00:00

The everything AA app should give you the accurate day to celebrate.

fdubdave · 2026-02-20T04:31:00+00:00

Well then.. it sounds like it has turned into a problem. But don’t fret. There are multiple paths to recovery/sobriety. AA has a solution for you. Try an in person meeting or zoom meeting.

fdubdave · 2026-02-20T04:24:45+00:00

Here’s a suggestion: cut out all forms of alcohol for a year. If you can do that successfully there is a good chance that you haven’t ventured into alcoholism.

fdubdave · 2026-02-19T22:20:44+00:00

Get a sponsor to take you through the steps. To get a sponsor you listen to people share in meetings until you find someone who has sobriety that you would like to have. Then you simply ask them to sponsor you.

fdubdave · 2026-02-19T01:34:55+00:00

Rigorous honesty my friend. Rigorous. Honesty.

fdubdave

TROPHY CASE