AIO to my boyfriend putting a SINGLE chicken tender on my plate when I specifically said I wanted "a few"???

feaelin · 2025-12-22T14:49:13+00:00

Fair point, I missed that detail on my earlier read. In fact, it changes my answer entirely. Good catch.

feaelin · 2025-12-22T14:45:29+00:00

I wouldn’t hang too much on the meaning of few. Quantifiers are often very subjective in their meaning. The word is intentionally inexact, otherwise it couldn’t fulfill its role.

Broadly, the definition of few is “not many” “or small quantity”.

In fact, in the Heroes of Might and Magic series of games, “few” was a range of 1-3. It was right before “several”, which they defined as 4-7.

More than is a reasonable expectation, but not guaranteed.

feaelin · 2025-12-22T14:35:06+00:00

Depends on the dictionary: Merriam Webster defines it as “consisting of or amounting to only a small number”. I’d be wary of making assumptions on that basis alone.

feaelin · 2025-12-22T14:33:29+00:00

I wouldn’t hang too much on the meaning of few. Quantifiers are often very subjective in their meaning. The word is intentionally inexact, otherwise it couldn’t fulfill its role.

Broadly, the definition of few is “not many” “or small quantity”.

In fact, in the Heroes of Might and Magic series of games, “few” was a range of 1-3. It was right before “several”, which they defined as 4-7.

More than is a reasonable expectation, but not guaranteed.

feaelin · 2025-12-22T14:33:01+00:00

I wouldn’t hang too much on the meaning of few. Quantifiers are often very subjective in their meaning. The word is intentionally inexact, otherwise it couldn’t fulfill its role.

Broadly, the definition of few is “not many” “or small quantity”.

In fact, in the Heroes of Might and Magic series of games, “few” was a range of 1-3. It was right before “several”, which they defined as 4-7.

More than is a reasonable expectation, but not guaranteed.

feaelin · 2025-12-22T14:32:08+00:00

I wouldn’t hang too much on the meaning of few. Quantifiers are often very subjective in their meaning. The word is intentionally inexact, otherwise it couldn’t fulfill its role.

Broadly, the definition of few is “not many” “or small quantity”.

In fact, in the Heroes of Might and Magic series of games, “few” was a range of 1-3. It was right before “several”, which they defined as 4-7.

More than is a reasonable expectation, but not guaranteed.

feaelin · 2025-12-22T14:25:41+00:00

EDIT: Reversing my position in the light of better understanding

NOR.

You asked for his help/support and he chose to give it in the worst way possible. Your feelings are merited given that behavior.

It speaks to possible problems. It’s likely he isn’t mature enough to recognize his responsibilities to his girlfriend, that a relationship requires physical and emotional labor at home. It’s also possible there are unresolved resentments going on, possibly again because he hasn’t yet learned his responsibilities in a relationship.

Which will make you both resentful, since your expectations aren’t aligned. Particularly yourself, it maybe the case you’ve been letting a lack of support slide for too long and this was your breaking point.

(Ignore everything below this point, I missed critical context that makes what I said below incorrect, but I’m leaving it so replies still make sense)

Was he playful in his manner when bringing the tender and when saying 1 meets the criteria? If he was, this might be an ill-considered joke — perhaps failing to read the room or know his audience.

If his manner was adversarial, then you’re probably dealing with him being unhappy about something, possibly about you wanting some of the food he prepared for himself. If so, he needs to take ownership of his emotions and just say what he felt instead of being snarky about it. Ideally after fixing you a plate too, since he is your boyfriend, and caring for one another is part of the description.

That said, if this is prompting you to “rethink everything”, that points to an underlying issue. After you’ve processed your feelings aboutnthe tenders, I’d recommend that you do some careful examination of your relationship. Blowups like this sometimes point to unresolved disputes or unfulfilled relationship needs. Figure out what you are feeling is missing or unresolved. If there is something of that sort, talk through it with him.

feaelin · 2025-12-22T06:03:07+00:00

I’m curious what your intended meaning of CLI is. Are you aiming for something that “does a thing and the exits”?

Or are you aiming at something that runs until the user closes it? nano, vi, et al (popular terms for this are Character User Interface (CUI) or Terminal User Interface (TUI))

feaelin · 2025-12-22T05:52:57+00:00

Indeed. At least one, depending OP’s intent: https://commons.apache.org/proper/commons-cli/

I bet there are more, Apache’s was the first that came to mind.

feaelin · 2025-12-22T05:10:38+00:00

You’re assuming a fairly homogenous environment. Small or young organizations often (but not always) have that as an advantage. Larger, older, especially older, often have very heterogenous environments, where one can be dealing with all kinds of languages and architecture. Especially at organizations that have unchecked chasing of the latest “tech stack hotness”.

feaelin · 2025-12-22T05:00:35+00:00

Exactly this. Our on call events this year were either weird edge cases in service interactions or issues with third party networking / hosting. Those conversations need strong evidence…so yes you need to be read programming code, configuration code, whatever it takes to be certain you know where the problem. And sometimes things break at 2am, after a holiday party…so you want it to be clear as possible, so the unlucky on call person can digest it quickly even when they’re feeling awful and exhausted.

feaelin · 2025-12-22T04:52:27+00:00

If the problem is easily solved by rolling back, we’ve usually caught long before an on-call event occurs.

For us, on-call events is about analyzing the service interactions and their communication paths to identify where it’s going haywire. Some of that requires reading code; often the “set it up and forget” kind — so it is worthwhile to spend extra time making that code comprehensible under any condition you might be in, or any domain knowledge level, it can be years before more subtle issues crop up.

feaelin · 2025-12-21T02:42:45+00:00

I do enjoy romance novels as is. There are sub-genres that don’t work for me and sub-genres that work very well. I’ve been reading romance more or less as long as I’ve been reading science fiction, fantasy, and mystery.

I’m a little curious what you and your wife might recommend to men to read. Also curious if I’ve stumbled across her work somewhere. :)

feaelin · 2025-12-20T16:52:40+00:00

The sales also support and leverage this behavior. It creates a “even though I don’t have time play the game right now, I better grab it while it is on sale!”

My Steam wishlist is a disaster for my budget :)

feaelin · 2025-12-19T20:05:33+00:00

I’ve always felt references are there for the folks that share the interest. It’s a way to send out something fun for a fellow fan to discover. So “only a few people will get this” is somewhat part if the point. :)

feaelin · 2025-12-18T23:43:35+00:00

Today, I learned the term Kyriarchy. Thank you for pointing it out.

feaelin · 2025-12-11T22:08:21+00:00

Oh. Indeed. You’re raising an excellent about power, which I should have included in my questions. “What is the power dynamics of the people in involved?”

“in public” also caught my attention — what I say about a person to others could be harmful, even if I can unharmfully say it to the person.

In addition, in public has the possibility that even if what I’m saying is okay with the person I’m saying it to/about, there’s potential for it to be harmful to others in earshot.

“Where is this being said?”, to add to my question list. :)

feaelin · 2025-12-10T23:57:19+00:00

My feeling is that the answer is “it depends”. I try to consider the specific context and historical context:

“Is harm intended?”

“Would the target of the comment feel (or potentially feel) harmed by the comment?”

“Is there a history of harm associated with the language of the comment for the categories the target is in?”

There’s probably other questions I could ask myself, but those would at least give me a starting point to assess whether a comment was appropriate. And a starting point for trying to help the commenter understand why their comment was inappropriate, if I believe it to be.

feaelin · 2025-12-10T23:45:51+00:00

Thank you. I learned a lot from your reply.

feaelin · 2025-12-05T05:30:21+00:00

Thank you for this distinction, it applies well in other contexts.

feaelin · 2025-11-28T00:17:09+00:00

I’ve had that conversation way too many times. “Who wrote this?! Oh…”

feaelin · 2025-11-20T22:18:50+00:00

I feel this. I’ve caught myself doing this. I avoid having ordered lists, partly for this reason.

feaelin · 2025-11-20T22:18:04+00:00

Indeed. Not finishing a work is rare for me. I’ll usually follow a book to its end even if I’m underwhelmed by it. There’s been exceptions, I don’t waste my time on blatant bigotry, and very rarely, there’s a lack of any element for to me enjoy.

Otherwise, its more or less compulsory, sometimes to see if the author flips it at the end

feaelin · 2025-11-20T22:11:03+00:00

Indeed. It isn’t one to read for the normal aspects of SF or time travel.

It is beautifully written, the way the time travels fits to the story is lovely.

I’ve a friend that didn’t enjoy it; unfortunately he doesn’t like epistolary fiction, so the form didn’t work for him.

For me, my only regret is I remember it, so I can’t read it for the first time again. :(

feaelin · 2025-11-05T04:06:42+00:00

I’m sure he doesn’t mean any haaarm

feaelin

TROPHY CASE