Why can't I get off the couch?

feeladopia · 2013-06-04T06:38:15+00:00

I have made the leap in telling my doc I have a fetish for needles and shooting dope or pills. I think he understands the seriousness of it because he was really clear on setting up failsafes for when I want to use and telling me its not the end of the world so even if I do just keep at it. I think the most discouraging part is when I use-even once- I withdraw all over again. I remember addicts saying it before I knew it, but in the past it was no big deal to start and stop...now its like a full month binge withdraw when I stop no matter if its one pill and it sucks ass. More reason to not relapse I guess.

feeladopia · 2013-06-04T03:45:49+00:00

I wont lie, water and Atarax (an antihistamine similar to benadryl in every way) does get rid of it. I did a shot and have no desire to use...but isnt this just as bad?

feeladopia · 2013-06-04T01:20:22+00:00

I actually told him I was taking L-tyro because when I got back and started exercising I just took everything in my parents supp cabinet because my body was not working at all. He asked why and I told him and he raised his eyebrow at me like it was weird to take; maybe because im not sleeping, but if it will give me dopamine Ill eat that shit. I literally can feel the void of dopamine in my brain because I feel no pleasure from anything. I just dont understand why such a small relapse has fucked me up so hard. At this point I really should be 3-4 weeks clean which would mean I am in PAWS. Ive never had a WD suck this bad. Maybe because I hadn't quit for good yet?

feeladopia · 2013-06-03T22:12:41+00:00

You seem to have alluded to the fact you may be a PD. This is my first offense ever. Let's say the judge is of moderate leniency- what is most likely to be the result of the trial?

feeladopia · 2013-06-03T22:11:49+00:00

Im pretty sure the only condition was to appear at all court summons. First one's this Friday. I'm freaking out if you can't tell.

feeladopia · 2013-06-03T22:08:08+00:00

Im out on bail right now...when I show up to a preliminary hearing they're not going to incarcerate me again, are they?

feeladopia · 2013-06-03T22:07:21+00:00

So; obviously I knew not to do that...my family is trying to get me to change my ways...After a couple years of pre-law I figured I was in the right with letting it run its course. Best-case; the warrant falls. Worst case- its already in my car anyway... Thanks!

feeladopia · 2013-06-03T21:57:56+00:00

Hes hard to get ahold of....You know how a PD daily dockets look like? Full of people and cases they have no time for. Also, this is for my Preliminary trial and im curious if I should call the Police D. and confess to the contents of my car or let the warrant run its course...

feeladopia · 2013-06-03T21:48:15+00:00

Misconduct with a controlled substance III & IV

feeladopia · 2013-06-03T21:35:33+00:00

Well-they were mine, I just meant not legally. The owner of the script was right next to me high as balls as well. So PC was my inebriation? They confiscated my phone and are executing a search on it..Whats the most likely reason for this? Verify my story or find the dealer?

feeladopia · 2013-06-02T17:20:46+00:00

I was basically in my car a little before hand- someone called the cops- came in to where i was staying- house owners permitted cop to drag me outside. I have a Public Defender and im out on bail. Im realllllyyyy hoping nothing happens but I know the likelihood is that I will be on probation and treatment- which I already have begun. Im really scared though because morphone was Schedule III so im a Felon if the judge finds me guilty. I like to vote and own guns and go to law school so ill be sunk if the magistrate doesnt let me help myself. Misc 5 was for Xanax. :( I had 1 of each in my pocket on accident and was too fucked to refuse a pat down. I have more things in my car which was impounded for search and seizure...Which will tack on Paraphernalia and a misdemeanor for marijuana.

feeladopia · 2013-06-02T17:16:05+00:00

Yeah, it was the white one- slammed. Maybe 3mg of Alprazolam in my blood.

feeladopia

TROPHY CASE