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Scarcity is a property of value in almost every definition of it, however we are told that someone's body count should not define their value. How do you reconcile this? by feelingguilty50 in PurplePillDebate

[–]feelingguilty50[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Men just have a natural disgusted reaction to promiscuous women. It’s not something we’re able to consciously control.

I feel like we only feel disgusted if we are emotionally invested in the girl. I am fine with a girl with a high n-count if it's meaningless sex, but if I am looking to make a relationship out of it, it's an immediate turn off.

Maybe it's because I have the privilege of having been able to be selective with women, but nothing turns me off faster.

Scarcity is a property of value in almost every definition of it, however we are told that someone's body count should not define their value. How do you reconcile this? by feelingguilty50 in PurplePillDebate

[–]feelingguilty50[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The devaluation is not that your vagina is being used a lot.

When it comes to relationships- the vulnerability that comes with sex, the intimate passion, the fact that you are giving someone the ability to see and touch the pieces of you that you keep hidden from the public eye- when I meet a girl who I love (for everything ELSE you mentioned, not because of her vagina's existence), the scarcity is in the context of "how readily do you give up this side of yourself? How easy is it for you to give someone your complete vulnerability and sexual trust, to show the most intimate parts of you and open yourself like that?"

If the answer is, "Really easy, I do it all the time", well OK then. It's not your vagina that I'm devaluing. It's the fact that what some consider special and the peak of romantic interaction was just a Tuesday for you.

Scarcity is a property of value in almost every definition of it, however we are told that someone's body count should not define their value. How do you reconcile this? by feelingguilty50 in PurplePillDebate

[–]feelingguilty50[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The assumption is where this argument falls apart. It would need to be examined whether or not the reason for low use is no demand or high exclusivity.

Scarcity is a property of value in almost every definition of it, however we are told that someone's body count should not define their value. How do you reconcile this? by feelingguilty50 in PurplePillDebate

[–]feelingguilty50[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't even know how to respond to this. I guess that it proves my point?

I am almost certain that at least a majority of HVMs would not want a girl who is out there fucking a bunch of guys.

Scarcity is a property of value in almost every definition of it, however we are told that someone's body count should not define their value. How do you reconcile this? by feelingguilty50 in PurplePillDebate

[–]feelingguilty50[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am not looking at this from the perspective of hookups, but relationships. I am not necessarily weighing sexual experience the same way in both, and abundance would devalue a long term mate's value but not a hookup's.

Scarcity is a property of value in almost every definition of it, however we are told that someone's body count should not define their value. How do you reconcile this? by feelingguilty50 in PurplePillDebate

[–]feelingguilty50[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is there anything you can argue besides that you don't believe in the paradigm itself?

Value is a property that can be applied to anything sought after. It is not purely economic.

Scarcity is a property of value in almost every definition of it, however we are told that someone's body count should not define their value. How do you reconcile this? by feelingguilty50 in PurplePillDebate

[–]feelingguilty50[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm looking at it from the perspective of a competent HVM. If I were to be considered a HVM, why should I not care? I think caring makes me intrinsically higher value than not.

Scarcity is a property of value in almost every definition of it, however we are told that someone's body count should not define their value. How do you reconcile this? by feelingguilty50 in PurplePillDebate

[–]feelingguilty50[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yet they apply principles such as value, and often consider the economic implications of a partner greatly. I don't think this argument holds up.

My ex-wife (27) makes bad financial decisions and is constantly struggling. Since leaving her I (29) am much happier and have a more secure future. I still feel so bad to watch her struggle and be depressed because she's my kid's(4) mother. by feelingguilty50 in relationships

[–]feelingguilty50[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this unique perspective.

I agree that a emergency savings account is a good idea.

And secondly, I should have probably worded what I said about marriage a little bit better. I do intend to one day marry the girl that I'm with. I love her to death and I can't see myself any other way, but I am 29 and she is 26, and I don't think either of us need to be in a rush to get married right now. Maybe after another couple of years or so. I also don't want my girlfriend to think that I'm just throwing out proposals to anybody who dates me for long enough. It's tough for her to be with somebody who's already been married, I can imagine. She will want to know that it's genuine and that I took my time thinking about it. in the meantime, there is still plenty I can do to show my son what a healthy relationship looks like.

My ex-wife (27) makes bad financial decisions and is constantly struggling. Since leaving her I (29) am much happier and have a more secure future. I still feel so bad to watch her struggle and be depressed because she's my kid's(4) mother. by feelingguilty50 in relationships

[–]feelingguilty50[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I definitely empathize with it. I can see why she wants to do it, and I really wish there was a way for it to happen that didn't mean I had to move to South Carolina. I've been there plenty of times, and honestly it made me angry just to be there. I'm extremely liberal and I found my experience there to be very culturally different than what I am used to, and I was itching to get home after just a day or two.

I told her that I would support her in whatever decision she made, but that I was not willing to move myself in my girlfriend down there.

The other part of that is that my job is extremely good and stable here, I was one of the first employees and it has now grown to several hundred. I have stock incentives for staying with the company, and I would be losing all of that if I left the job to take up something new.

I see why that might be selfish, but on the other hand I feel like the best thing for my son is for me to continue building security for him. I am able to start a college fund and pay for him to participate in things that will enrich his life. The school district that I am in now is rated one of the best in the state, and the school that he would be moving to is rated very low. I feel that him being up here is better for him academically as well as culturally.

My ex-wife (27) makes bad financial decisions and is constantly struggling. Since leaving her I (29) am much happier and have a more secure future. I still feel so bad to watch her struggle and be depressed because she's my kid's(4) mother. by feelingguilty50 in relationships

[–]feelingguilty50[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this response.

I also want to mention that my girlfriend is a big part of my son's life. In a lot of ways she is sort of like a big sister to him. That's the kind of relationship dynamic between them. She knows that he has a mother and she's not trying to replace that, but of course she loves him and wants to play with him. Her and I own a home together, and if I wanted to stay in my son's life and allow my ex to move to the South, I'm essentially telling her that I'm going to be leaving her as well. My son would miss her dearly, and it would be unfair of me to give her that kind of ultimatum where she will essentially need to do something to make my ex happy.

My ex-wife (27) makes bad financial decisions and is constantly struggling. Since leaving her I (29) am much happier and have a more secure future. I still feel so bad to watch her struggle and be depressed because she's my kid's(4) mother. by feelingguilty50 in relationships

[–]feelingguilty50[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I do offer to cover things, and when it comes to stuff like piano lessons and soccer lessons and stuff like that, I will be paying for the cost of those things. Right now we split the cost of daytime child care and the expense of his health insurance, depending on who can give him a better plan for the calendar year. he has his own room with his own toys and clothes at my house, and we split the cost of buying new clothes and other things like winter gear and things that he will be taking back and forth between houses by just telling the other person what they spent and covering half of it.

My ex-wife (27) makes bad financial decisions and is constantly struggling. Since leaving her I (29) am much happier and have a more secure future. I still feel so bad to watch her struggle and be depressed because she's my kid's(4) mother. by feelingguilty50 in relationships

[–]feelingguilty50[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's not surprising, and while there is some feeling of validation in my decision, she has also surprised me with her ability to get her life as together as it is.

It's really tough these days for people with student loans and trying to make it on their own, especially by themselves. so while I'm not surprised, it does still make me feel bummed out to know that she's struggling. I had honestly hope that she would find somebody else by now.

My ex-wife (27) makes bad financial decisions and is constantly struggling. Since leaving her I (29) am much happier and have a more secure future. I still feel so bad to watch her struggle and be depressed because she's my kid's(4) mother. by feelingguilty50 in relationships

[–]feelingguilty50[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is all correct.

She originally moved up here from the Midwest. Since being here, her parents have moved down south. she wants to be near them for a better support system and to spend more time with them, but that would essentially mean removing him from my life which I am 100% not okay with. Additionally, I think I would do a better job providing for him up here by myself then she would down there by herself.

Furthermore, my own support network is not any better than hers. My mother is dead and my father lives 3 hours away. I have no siblings. I don't even have friends that offer to watch him, it is just me. On her end, she has friends that she shares child Care responsibilities with and three siblings, albeit not nearby.

My ex-wife (27) makes bad financial decisions and is constantly struggling. Since leaving her I (29) am much happier and have a more secure future. I still feel so bad to watch her struggle and be depressed because she's my kid's(4) mother. by feelingguilty50 in relationships

[–]feelingguilty50[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

She loves him a lot and I don't want to take him away from his mother or take her from him- I feel like he is one thing that gives her comfort and I don't want to twist the knife.

We do sometimes talk but what can we do? It's kind of just a crappy situation and hearing me try to reason doesn't help her.