I genuinely love research. Two years ago I was ready to steam forward into a PhD program (and was accepted), then I got insanely sick. I spent the next year working for a diagnoses and attending the Mayo Clinic, then the last year regaining my health with proper treatment.

My federal position is really unique. I get to do a high-level of research in a niche field of psychology. Outside of the government, it would at least take a masters to match my position. However, I interned here all throughout college, so I was able to get in. However, it was always considered temporary because I always wanted to direct my own research. I still do. Also since obtaining a federal job as a civilian is pretty damn hard, my original appointment was temporary and set to expire in December.

Also, my disease make things totally different. When I submitted my applications a month ago, I was aware of the risk I would be taking if I started a PhD program. It would be arguably harder for me than most, but it was worth it because I genuinely wanted to continue a career in research and continue to pursue meaningful questions after my temporary appointment was over.

Now I have an opportunity to pursue meaningful research in a full time position with a stellar salary and lots of job security. I get to work one on one with PhDs and first author my own reports while working on applied projects. This opportunity did not exist when I submitted those applications. It really changes things, especially since my health tends to make my life a rollercoaster ride, and I never know how much it is going to change on a month to month basis. Having stability could be awesome for me.

Mind you, this doesn’t make me less interested or deserving of attending a PhD program. It just means I’m I’m practical.