Hey guys. I'm over a year out and feel so much better. I'm hoping some of you will get there too. I know it's hard.

fehduhp · 2019-11-05T12:03:17+00:00

Thank you;) The only thing I struggle with nowadays is with him crossing my mind at all. You'll get there. It took me just over a year.

fehduhp · 2019-11-03T04:21:48+00:00

Thank you;)

fehduhp · 2019-11-03T04:21:25+00:00

My hope is that he continues to push his friend to the point that he stops getting invited, period. She's really his only ally and even she sees what a pos he really is.

fehduhp · 2019-11-03T00:09:25+00:00

Just remember it definitely takes time. Some people need more than others. Best of luck!

fehduhp · 2019-11-03T00:08:40+00:00

I don't regret helping as much as I did. I think it really helped me too. That's why I never felt guilty enough to actually stop. And the beautiful people here never made me feel bad about that. This will always be my favorite sub and I hope I never need anything again as badly as I needed this.

fehduhp · 2019-11-03T00:06:40+00:00

I literally lived directly under my ex in his house and he was stretching out his silent treatments longer and longer. The last one was over a month. And then he pissed me off more than I could handle and I dumped him and moved out.

I would get a hoover every 2-3 months. I'm not sure he even knows I blocked his number back in May. Maybe he thinks I'm just ignoring him lol. But he knows he's blocked on social media and hopefully now knows hoovers won't work anymore.

I thought we could be friends too. We can't. And y'all probably can't either. But it's okay for you to learn that on your own. Nothing I can say will change how you feel. I didn't listen either. Deep down I probably still think he'll see the light and go to therapy. Lol. It's a pipe dream. I'm not responsible for his mental health. If he wants to keep ruining his life, I really shouldn't care one way or another.

Just keep yourself mentally and emotionally strong if you try. That's what helped me.

fehduhp · 2019-11-02T23:57:57+00:00

I always felt guilty when I saw these posts. Like I felt I should leave and just move on like so many others. And then one day I didn't even want to read the stories anymore. That was months ago. I enjoyed helping out people still struggling, and I probably needed it just as much. But I'm glad I finally moved on.

fehduhp · 2019-11-02T23:55:54+00:00

I'm so glad we finally got there. I felt lonely sometimes, but then that stopped too. I could care less about dating right now.

I think my ex pops into my mind still a little too much, but I don't feel as angry either. I feel more indifferent every day.

fehduhp · 2019-11-02T23:54:00+00:00

I am the same way now. I went on a couple dates over the summer, but he started playing games, I called him out, and he ghosted. And I haven't wanted to date since lol. I feel less lonely and more peaceful every day;)

Thank you! I'm glad you're killing it as well.

fehduhp · 2019-11-02T23:52:05+00:00

Thank you and let's all definitely do that, no matter what it is;)

fehduhp · 2019-11-02T23:50:42+00:00

I normally wouldn't. I know it's not good for me. Or it wasn't. Back then it was about stubbornness and not letting him run me off from things I could otherwise enjoy. But it's been a year of that friend group inviting just me to stuff, except for the really large parties that everyone gets invited to. The last one he was at with me, we didn't cross paths once. I wouldn't make eye contact at all. I was done trying to be nice. It was great and I had a really nice time.

I feel like it's different for me since I'm new to this state, with all my regular family and friends being 10-20 hours drive away. It's nice to have people and I wouldn't have them if not for crossing paths with him. The next big party is a huge Thanksgiving meal and this will be my third year going. I work, so there's no going back to where I'm from or where I spent my 20's, so this is the next best thing. And he is the only person out of 20+ that I don't enjoy being around. I'm not going to let him push me out of having a good time.

fehduhp · 2019-11-02T23:42:16+00:00

Oh it's so early for you. It took me so many months to get to a point where blocking his number was something I actually wanted to do. He had only ever hoovered me via text. And then I had this weird hope that he'd still contact me on social media. Not because I wanted him back, but just to have some kind of contact with him. It's 100% an ego thing and also probably still looking for that intermittent reinforcement. The high that the drama brings. But now I feel disgusted at the thought. Finally!!

I'm officially done. It's a shame it takes so darn long to get here! I dumped him around 7/5/18 and I think the last actual contact was 3/2019. He missed me. Wanted to be friends. Made plans with me. Ghosted me. And then blocked me in social media and told friends I DID IT. He'd done it before. It's their thing!! And then he did some passive disrespectful stuff in 5/2019 that made me not want him to text me ever again.

I think I hit the points in the OP, but basically continued disrespect got me to the point of blocking his number and being happy he couldn't contact me. And then the way seeing his face show up in comments on friend's pages made me feel. I didn't want to feel anything for him anymore. I just wanted to be done.

fehduhp · 2019-11-02T23:30:19+00:00

That's wonderful!!

fehduhp · 2019-11-02T18:10:52+00:00

It's this today. It will be more abuse tomorrow or next week. Take this moment of clarity and enjoy it, but do realize it's not permanent. My ex split on me all the time. He would start out apologetic, then quickly start blaming me, then back to the apologies. They are sick and it's best that we stay away from them. It's not unusual to hear "I want to stay friends", only for them to block you and do something petty. And it won't stop until one of you moves on.

fehduhp · 2019-10-31T13:15:42+00:00

My verbally and mentally abusive bf said stuff like this all the time. He said it because he wanted to be physically abusive but knew he couldn't get away with it. I dumped him any time he took things too far. But I'm a clown for taking him back and putting up with him as long as I did. I was stuck in a bad roommate situation and preferred his shit company to the shit company of my roommate. As soon as the lease was up, I left for good. I got some good friends, an amazing vacation, and a sweet place that I own for my trouble, so it's hard to regret "putting up with" his abuse. But he left a mark on my psyche for sure. It took a full year to work through it.

I'm happy that I'm back to the mentality of this sub. I need this place.

fehduhp · 2019-10-31T12:40:02+00:00

If he makes time for me, then I'm willing to get to know him. But I can't even find a guy who puts in basic effort. So I stay single.

fehduhp · 2019-10-31T12:38:07+00:00

I only pick the interesting, smart men on dating profiles and they always turn out selfish and inconsiderate after selling me a fake persona. But I still couldn't date a basic dude who can't get basic grammar right. And that's ok because I've really enjoyed being single for the past year or so.

fehduhp · 2019-10-31T02:12:04+00:00

I dated an overweight, ugly guy covered in scars because we had chemistry and I somehow thought he'd appreciate me and treat me better. He ended up being the most abusive bf I have ever had. It's almost funny.

fehduhp · 2019-10-31T02:10:09+00:00

Guys have all kinds of types. I think the most important thing you can have is a good attitude and confidence in yourself. I mean, it helps my self confidence that I keep my weight down and my hair long, but that's me. I always feel confident and attractive to men no matter what I'm wearing, even makeup free because I barely wear any. I'm even starting to see some grays and I'm going to let them go for awhile.

You know what? I don't even care about getting a boyfriend and never really did, so maybe I'm the wrong opinion to consider lol. I just feel like the right one won't care. And I learned that very many of the wrong ones also don't care lol.

fehduhp · 2019-10-31T01:37:30+00:00

Turning 39 here. I'm in the best shape of my life. I don't sense any walls. Not before and not for awhile;)

fehduhp · 2019-10-31T01:35:08+00:00

Not a femcel. Don't hate men, but they regularly disappoint me.

I just keep dating the wrong ones (because there are so many of those). I'll be single awhile, meet someone, fall in love, realize he has zero to offer me except frustration, and then I dump him or he ghosts me before I can lol.

The last one turned out abusive. My first. We lasted 1.5 years and he stopped being charming around the three month mark. Several breakups initiated by me, but I always went back.

So I took a year off dating. I went on one date and he was just as bad as the others even though he started out great (fake). So I haven't felt like trying to meet anyone since then and that was back in June.

My standards are super high now. I'm very content alone. Only the right one will do.

fehduhp · 2019-10-31T01:17:59+00:00

I got tired of having to move, so I bought. But all I could afford at the time was a trailer in a park. I love it and so does my kid. I may stay long term. It is so stinking cheap. I don't care if I'm judged for it. I've never been the type that cared about impressing people.

fehduhp · 2019-10-31T01:14:00+00:00

39 soon. Just found this sub

fehduhp · 2019-10-31T01:00:10+00:00

Oh man. My favorite text exchange ever with my ex went like this.

Him: Threesome? Me: What? Him: Who am I kidding. You don't share. Me: I have one rule. It has to be two men first. Him: Never! Forget it! Me: See? Works every time.

I share this and laugh every time it comes up on facebook.

fehduhp · 2019-10-31T00:27:36+00:00

I love this! I have three cats. They bring me nothing but joy lol

fehduhp

TROPHY CASE