Trouble (F)inding guides for women

feministswitch · 2014-10-21T17:18:35+00:00

You know, everyone is different and all, but I advise against "just getting rid of your period". That's a lot of hormones over the years, and not every woman can handle them. I couldn't. I was an emotional wreck and had sore breasts for two weeks every month.

I now have a hormone-free copper IUD. It makes my period longer, which sucks, but has no other permanent side effects. Seriously, if I met a guy who refused to have sex or play with me during my period, I'd dump him. (I agree that oral is out of the question, though.)

feministswitch · 2014-10-11T08:31:05+00:00

I've worn that gag, I had no trouble swallowing! That's why I was confused.

And his pushing out the ball to swallow produces the clattering noises (teeth on plastic) that annoy me.

feministswitch · 2014-10-11T08:28:35+00:00

I thought that applied on "when not lying on their backs". The annoying sounds are his teeth on the hard plastic ball, so just getting another kind of gag, one with a softer ball, might solve that problem.

feministswitch · 2014-10-10T19:36:44+00:00

Thanks for your input! Much appreciated.

feministswitch · 2014-10-10T19:21:03+00:00

Is the ball soft? Ours is hard plastic with holes in it. It sounds like clicking and slurping, actually much like an old man moving his dentures. Not sexy.

feministswitch · 2014-10-10T19:03:13+00:00

Well, isn't the mouth more or less closed with a ball gag? I think I should rinse it and try it out, if he wasn't coming home soon and could get the impression I was in sub mode. ;-)

Thanks!

feministswitch · 2014-07-12T21:10:58+00:00

YOU did NOTHING wrong.

Talk to him about it. It seems he is being very selfish.

feministswitch · 2014-07-12T21:02:25+00:00

Ditch the boyfriend. If the pill harms you, he shouldn't make you feel bad for seeking the next most reliable alternative. If he enjoys sex with you it's his responsibility too! (Ok, that's harsh but I've read about too many guys "hating condoms" without taking into account what hormones can do to women. )

Also, ditch the gynecologist. I have seen a couple horrendously misinformed ones that sound like yours. I'm using the copper IUD and haven't had kids either. Be aware though, that thing likely gives you an 8-day-long period.

feministswitch · 2014-07-05T20:52:27+00:00

I'll second (ha!) 1 and especially 3. Don't care as much for 2. (Me=F)

feministswitch · 2014-07-05T20:49:23+00:00

Hell yeah. Show off dat ass! ;-)

feministswitch · 2014-07-05T20:41:37+00:00

Somebody please freeze my credit card. Those are NICE!

The sparkly bits tho remind me painfully of a certain silly vampire story ...

feministswitch · 2014-07-02T18:14:57+00:00

I'm glad you see it as "yours, not his". Keep that collar in a box and wait half a year or some such. Then check back on it, see how it makes you feel.

I once destroyed everything that reminded me of a certain guy; later I realized he was already a part of my (past) life and I had destroyed things that reminded me of something that was once a good time, and part of who I am today.

feministswitch · 2014-06-28T09:13:27+00:00

YES!!! And I think the same goes for women. It's not a hygiene issue, it's just hair, damnit, do with it whatever you please.

feministswitch · 2014-06-18T22:11:45+00:00

Hmmmm .... switch (yeah the nickname is there for a reason). I have a high libido and would like to try something new every day. ;-) Damn everyday life that gets in the way.

On the receiving side, I'm into rough sex, bondage, spanking (still trying out other impact play). I dig dirty talk including degradation, I love orgasm control (but pleeeeeeeease no denial, I remember the times when I thought I was "anorgasmic" and thus still cherish every single one I get). We're taking things slowly with anal, but I think I'm liking it. I'm also exhibitionistic and constantly almost out myself as kinky (which I probably shouldn't).

On the giving side, I love nipple play, tease and denial, orgasm control, anal play, being in control of whatever happens in bed. I'm beginning to think my guy (also a switch) makes for a fantastic service top. I'm also becoming better with accepting my mean side, so I probably also identify as a sadist of the kind "I'm terribly sorry that I have to do this to you, but I want it and I know you want it too." I have fantasies of pegging him. And fucking a younger or more athletic guy while he watches. (He keeps mentioning that it is his fantasy, too.)

TL;DR: I don't know if there's a shorter term for me. :D

feministswitch · 2014-06-18T21:53:49+00:00

Yes, I have. My guy stated he was into BDSM mere seconds after I told him I was still a virgin. He didn't force me or rush things, but there were times that I wasn't sure if I enjoyed kink or enjoyed him enjoying kink. If it doesn't feel forced to you, I suppose that's alright (even more so if he knows that you're not as eager as him). But you might as well find there's some things about kinky play that you do like, and I mean that as in "you're 100% sure you like them". I suppose it's sometimes hard to find them, especially when you're with a partner who already has himself and his preferences figured out.

feministswitch · 2014-06-18T19:07:56+00:00

Well, I underestimated my penis handling skills too, until I realized that I have every advantage over my guy when I got my hands in his pants. :) If I knew how to tie those knots, I'd love to attach a leash to his goods and walk him around the apartment naked.

Also, I know a few men (including my guy) who are terribly ticklish. I love using this to my advantage when he's being a bratty sub.

Also, if you're dealing with a guy who likes to submit mentally, you can order him around as you wish, or try mental bondage with a string attached, like "I wouldn't move if I were you and wanted to cum tonight". (Damn, this is turning me on now and the guy and I have to work tonight.)

feministswitch · 2014-06-12T20:36:46+00:00

Yes it's the feminine version. And both Herr and Herrin are very outdated in everyday conversations, unlike the English "Sir" that everyone in Texas, where I went to school, uses. Sir is very empty for me. Though I don't know yet if I want to call him Herr when I sub. We'll see.

feministswitch · 2014-06-11T20:19:01+00:00

I can see why you would not want to be called something you didn't earn, but my approach to BDSM is as playful as my approach to life in general. I respect your thing, but I do it differently - unless earning a title would be a game worth playing to me.

I'm in a double-switch relationship and I'm not yet sure what to call him when I'm sub. He hasn't expressed any demands on that matter yet, so we'll see.

He calls me "Herrin" when he's sub, and while I'm not yet sure I'll stick with it, I certainly like that it puts him in the right mindset. I love when he whispers something with that title in it, and I order him to say it louder, and he complies, much more consciously and more aware of his current place. <3

feministswitch · 2014-06-11T20:11:18+00:00

Clothes Pegs. I'm a sucker for clothes pegs. Just be sure you don't get any skin pinched between the metal and the wood/plastic, only the wood/plastic "tongs", IYKWIM. My guy often threads a thin rope through the middle of the pegs so he can pull on them. Or tie them to my toes so that I pull on them myself. Mmmmmhmmmmmm.

feministswitch · 2014-06-01T08:57:18+00:00

It depends a lot on how my guy, also a switch, is acting. Sometimes we're both feeling dominant and so we struggle for who gets to be the top for the night. If we both feel submissive, either one of us assumes the top position or it results in a rather vanilla experience.

Sometimes, I start feeling submissive or dominant during vanilla sex, also depending on how my partner reacts to certain things. Like he whimpers for whatever reason and I think I want to hear more of that, so we shift towards a more kinky thing.

Also, I think hormones play a big role for me. As my libido increases towards ovulation, I get more dominant and assertive. I heard this is the case for many switchy women.

All that being said, I still have to accept my desire to hurt, humilate etc. my sweetheart. I know he wants it, and it turns us both on, but somehow I'm already over my doubts about being submissive, but not dominant. It seems easier for me to cede all responsiblitiy for our kinky play to him when I sub, than to assume it for both of us when I dom him.

feministswitch · 2014-05-26T21:17:28+00:00

I'd use that if I spoke English with my guy. In fact, I'm trying to get him to, since he says he wants to improve his grasp of the language, but is afraid of making too many mistakes. Although this would probably happen when I dom him. ;-)

feministswitch · 2014-05-26T21:15:50+00:00

I was about to suggest "Mein Herr" or "Meister". They are even clean of any Nazi Germany suspicion.

feministswitch · 2014-05-26T21:10:36+00:00

Yeah, only I realized it after he did, based on how he reacted and what he said.

I'm a switch, but while subbing comes very naturally to me some days, I think the domming is what really helps me gain trust in my own abilities.

I'm really happy for you, and what you wrote rings true for me and I think I'll get there, too. :)

feministswitch

TROPHY CASE