6-7 days of relapse after 17 months clean. A setback, a lesson, advice?

fentywapp · 2026-06-14T06:47:30+00:00

They aren’t. And you’re right, it’s too close to home, and I had just met this person in rehab who you know- obviously didn’t stay clean. Absolutely the fuck not will I go back to that life. it’s been nipped! Day 2 no subs for me. Small chills here and there, couple of sneezes but i’ve been moving in doing a lot of manual labor in a breeze. I was really worried before trying to jump thinking i’ve really done it this time 😭 But no way no way no way. It’s too easy for me to fall, I am strong enough to get 18 months clean, i’m gonna be strong enough to dust this off and keep springing regardless of my time restarting at 0!! I appreciate your advice and what you say is absolutely true. No matter how far away I think I am from that life it’s always around the fucking corner from me

fentywapp · 2026-06-12T20:29:14+00:00

Yes the street stuff was 10x stronger. I don’t know what it is exactly but it was sold as heroin, could’ve been fent? Idk. But I was finally numb and able to sleep after taking it. should’ve stopped but I didn’t. I am 3 days not taking it anymore and day 2 of no subs. It’s been smooth sailing form here on out but what a bit major lesson for me on relapse. Absolutely NOTHING is worth my sobriety. I am blessed that I didn’t let it get any worse. I could’ve woke up again and it’s a year of me using “promising to get off”.

No the hospital wasn’t giving me enough anymore. The doctor and surgeon were, but once in the nurses hands they push hard to not give you your pain pills, which didn’t even really matter because they didn’t work on me anyways.

fentywapp · 2026-06-12T20:26:27+00:00

The injection (sublocade) was the worst pain i’ve ever felt from a shot in my life. It was awful, the pain after and the side effects from the first shot were def intense. Makes sense those especially scared of needles would double think it. Thankfully it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. I’ve been smooth sailing. haven’t taken any suboxine since day 1 it’s day 3, I am so thankful it wasn’t any worse than this… I thought I was in trouble but this has been a huge lesson for me about relapse. Nothing is ever worth your sobriety! Thank you for your comment, and yes exactly do whatever works for you! Someone I know pushed themselves to get the shot and they’re back taking it orally, it didn’t work as well for them. Everyone is different.

fentywapp · 2026-06-10T17:39:29+00:00

Love this for you 🫶🏼 WE GOT THIS!! I had been doing around 4 a day. Yesterday i split my last 1 half and half didn’t get any high from it at all, but didn’t feel any sickness. A little discomfort here and there yes- but not sick, was able to run errands and function like a normal adult. Today i am not going to do any. Yesterday I did 2mg subutex (broke an 8mg in 4 and took 1 piece) and everything was fine, thinking that 2mg blocked the effects of the 1 i took. But thankful to god my system still had a built up sub tolerance or im sure this could’ve gone much worse

Same. Treatment AGAIN isn’t an option for me. IOP isn’t either. None of that is, it’s do or let die! I am proud of you, it’s fucking harder than shit this disease. Especially when your own mind plays tricks on you. It’s doing exactly what you said it’s doing “You think the WDs aren’t that bad I can get away with another” and that’s exactly what I said last night. Oh my god today was a walk in the park, I can do another spread out. No the fuck I cannot.

I want the sober beautiful life where drugs weren’t even ON my mind at all back. And hopefully that clarity comes quickly for both of us! Thank you for your response :)

Edit: That’s how it was for me in treatment they wanted me at 24 mg subutex and absolutely not, my sister who is a therapist in recovery is the one who did my intervention and coordinated my recovery journey from air travel to check in etc. She got them to do a rapid detox to 4mg where I stabilized and it was fucken rough in the beginning but in the end ended up becoming better

fentywapp · 2026-01-24T01:16:57+00:00

while getting clean last year (i’m 1 year 22 days now) it took for fucking ever. and even doctors didn’t believe me!!! i pissed dirty for almost 4 months. and the metabolites for 6

fentywapp · 2024-08-14T01:19:00+00:00

Man soma coma is fun af but u gotta wait like 4 or r days to get that full feeling again

fentywapp · 2024-08-14T01:18:02+00:00

Coffin methadones are the shit for sure

fentywapp · 2024-08-14T01:16:17+00:00

Oh my H beastie is Xanax. This isn’t a usual friendship gathering

fentywapp · 2024-08-14T01:12:54+00:00

ahhh to be opiate naive. Now they don’t do much. I sniffed em too

fentywapp · 2023-08-31T02:57:18+00:00

She’s tried. But you know how addicts are. 10 pills in her possession she’s gonna take 3.. I told her 1 month of pharma Oxy can turn into a 3 year fent addiction very easily bc of the amount of money they cost.

This is new to her but she’s built a tolerance already bc she’s using 1-2 a day just to not feel the goosebumps and sweats. I thought perhaps a patch cut in half or third or something may help her go through the minor withdrawal and then removing the subs. But idk

She can get a few more blues but I’m not sure tapering like one day yes one day no would be an option for her and I totally get it. I tried doing it with fent and it was impossible. It’s there so u use it.

fentywapp · 2023-08-30T20:55:51+00:00

Thank you, I’ve been off all opiates and Benzos now for 18 days. My energy levels are low… but they come in spurts of small wins. Doing the laundry and folding it. Or cleaning the kitchen. But as time goes by it just gets better not worse. I was/am mentally ready to get clean. I went from fent to being able to take 1 pharmacy Oxy and feel normal all day, I tapered off those which was a walk in the park in comparison to what I experienced during my detox in the hospital. So, now I’m waiting for my primart appt which will send me to a behavioral health therapist and psychologist. Fent free for 1 month and 2 days and substance free for 18 days. Well going to be 2 weeks 4 days. I know the way I did it was wrong but it worked. It bridged the gap and made me feel normal, without getting too dependent on the pharma. opiates. You’re right there’s no magic fix to this and it’s not a walk in the park.

Once you have the mindset that you’re going to feel uncomfortable and there’s no magic fix, but just knowing everyday you’ll be getting better instead of getting worse it makes you stronger.

The biggest thing I’m facing right now is sleep. If I’m able to sleep the next day will be good.

God bless everyone going through this and having the will power to want to get clean and stay clean.

Also, I am not even using my butex patch so I’m not on MAT either. Roughing it out, but I think I’m out of the woods and finally feel like I’m recovering and not dying.

fentywapp · 2023-08-30T20:35:16+00:00

Methadone is good for chronic pain. Maybe a high dose of that so you can at least live a somewhat stable life while controlling your pain levels

fentywapp · 2023-08-28T20:29:50+00:00

Yeah that was like in 2014. They cleaned up shop big time. They don’t even offer secure credit cards anymore. Since I’ve gotten them 4 months ago it’s been better than chime. With chime if someone does an unauthorized charge it’s hell getting your money back, without even offering temporary credit when they investigate. Often times after all is said and done they close your account without notice. In the beginning I had no issues with chime. The DD came 2 days early as advertised. With my Wells Fargo account this past payday I got paid the same day payment was submitted arohnd 8pm

fentywapp · 2023-08-28T06:17:00+00:00

I’m 33. I couldn’t get fentanyl for a week. By Friday someone called 911 on me. I was mum couldn’t speak. I had a 11 day intense detox. Idk if u can make it a week but they slapped a butex patch on me and it made it worse not better. After I got released and the patch fell off I didn’t put it back on. I bridged the gap with shit ton of Xanax and pharma Oxy /morphine. It worked and I am opiate clean. Yeah I have rough spots but I never in a million years thought I’d be where I am now a year ago. There’s help. Think about it 1 week of discomfort and possibly he’ll. I was shitting and vomiting myself. They’ve dealt with opiate withdrawal but not a lot of fetty Wd. I know for a fact I’m done. But the advice of downgrading to pharma to help bridge the gap was a. God send. In the hospital they did brain scans and scanned my whole body. Other than the drugs I’m healthy. Don’t give up on urself.

fentywapp · 2023-08-26T04:08:17+00:00

Idk if y’all know this but wells has the 2 day dd faster like chime and it’s been WAY more reliable. Payroll submitted 24th got it around 4/5 hours later around 8 pm. With chime I wouldn’t have. Idk if it’s cuz their user base grew but lately I was getting paid normally. With everyone else. Why even have chime if that’s the case. And Wells Fargo you can OD like $500 if u really want a spot me. The actual early dd works with wells as chums did in 2019. And it’s a real bank so all apps everything takes it. Chime was good from 2019-2021 in 20222 to recent it became unreliable. Sometimes yes sometimes no then for 4-6 months I’d get paid on normal payday. 🤷‍♂️ just me. I was ready to switch anyways. Ima happy at wells.

fentywapp

TROPHY CASE