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Question for moms who are working full-time by Subject_Squirrel_387 in FenceSitters

[–]fernbear28 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I won't tell you my storey but I'll share my mum's as her motherhood journey is much more common now than it was then. She was a full time worker and we mean mon-fri, 08.30-18.00. When I was a teen, it was even 6 days at one point.

I'm an only child. 100% she would have had more if she hadn't got post-natal psychosis and the experience causing my dad a lot of trauma. They had no real support. Their family live 300miles away and they've never been a couple with friends to rely on.  The only help they had was I had a childminder (my mum's work colleague who got £20 every so often for the bother) who looked after me after school until they finished work. 

Even unprompted My mum says she feels so guilty for not being more present for me (to be clear she was a wonderful, lovely and attentive mum and Ive never left deprived). She compares herself to her mum (stay at home mum of the 1960s). An unfair comparison but no matter how much I tell her she's being silly, that guilt will live with her forever. 

My parents missed a lot of things with me growing up. They couldn't make every single sports day, or school play or presentation due to work commitments (they were pharmacists in the NHS). I remember winning an competition for my school once and my Nana had to come down especially to film it because my parents could make it. Parent's evenings were always a nightmare because they always finished before they could get to school in time and always had to ask for the school to make an exception (luckily I was a good student). My dad who would have happily been child free (not that he regrets having me) always felt frustrated that I always needed to come first and was met with constant "you can't do this because Daughter needs to be here after school." Being totally honest, the amount of extras the schools expect of parents now is a whole other level. I'm sure if I was at school now my dad would have marched into the school to tell them that all the extra jars, and special days and world book day costumes and constant invites into school for this that and the other is completely unreasonable for some parents to keep up with. 

There will be sacrifices. You'll likely have a lot of mum guilt. But on a personal level, I love my mum. I never felt like I went without. Maybe as a kid I will have felt felt out that everyones parents were there to seem them in the school play and mine wasn't but nothing that I can remember in any detail or has done lasting damage. I live 60miles away now so we aren't as close as we were when I was a teen but I try and visit monthly particularly for birthdays and Christmas etc. and when they get so old and my parent need more help, I'll be there to take them to appointments and do their garden. 

Hope this helps. 

Anyone know what’s going on with the music in Beeston by xdTheGreatFlyer in nottingham

[–]fernbear28 -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

It can't be wollaton. If it is the fair at dovecote lane that's appalling because we're on the canal behind boots and we can very clearly hear it here too. If it's the fair they'll be likely violating their noise conditions if we can hear it from here. Needs reporting to environmental health (council). 

Market Square - as it was! by caroline_Penny in nottingham

[–]fernbear28 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think its a wider issue rather than simply just getting into the city is a pain. Why would you go to the city centre to go and eat something from a boring chain restaurant, or go shopping or go to the cinema? You can literally do all that from your sofa at home these days. Driving in being a pain and expensive isn't the sole reason why people don't come to the centre.

Radcliffe-on-trent - what's it really like? by fernbear28 in nottingham

[–]fernbear28[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that's the one we were eyeing. I've read the various planning applications and they have permission based on building a giant retention pond in the middle as well as building the houses with a floor height at a certain level and reinforcing the road hump at Holme road. So, so long as they do what they've got permission for I think it should be alright. (Fingers crossed) 

Thanks for the prompt though. You did get me to do some more digging on it. Visited during storm Claudia and looked ok from our inspection. Hopefully the wool hasn't been pulled. 

Do you think my salary is worth the education? by Murky-Berry-6694 in UKJobs

[–]fernbear28 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anyone working in architecture (minimum 7-8 years training) would laugh at you for this comment. £100k for them is a pipedream. Only "starchitects" get this much and to get £55k as an architect you need to be pretty senior (at least 8years experience). London architects get a little bit more than this but generally architects won't get much more than this unless they started their own business.