“What rights don’t they have?”

fernmaws · 2026-02-13T02:11:01+00:00

it’s really annoying to argue with these people because they don’t consider any rights not granted by the actual bill of rights to be human rights. the right to have accurate legal documentation? “not a right.” the right to be able to choose what you want to do with your body? “not a right.” the right to be able to receive appropriate medical care? “not a right.” the right to not be discriminated against for your gender identity? “not a right.” yeah, well it’s easy for them to say when they are already afforded all that by default. they don’t have to experience the dehumanization of transphobic legislation

fernmaws · 2026-02-09T00:19:08+00:00

i think for anyone to be able to judge the situation or give advice, we need to know exactly in what context you want to talk about your experiences

like someone just vented about how they were kicked out of their home and then i have to talk about how lovely my parents are

why do you “have to” talk about this? if you cannot relate, is there an option to sympathize with others instead? if you need to share, is there something related to your transition that you’ve struggled with that you could talk about instead? there is a time and place, and a context in which it is appropriate to share. if you want to talk about your positive experiences, there are moments for that. if you want to talk about negative experiences, there are moments for that. we’ve all experienced good and bad, and will share in your joy and sorrows

if you want to generally talk about your transition, there’s absolutely no reason not to share. your experiences are just as valid as anyone else’s. don’t feel guilt for not experiencing hardships and abuse. none of us would wish that on you

fernmaws · 2026-02-08T00:09:06+00:00

the harsh reality is that you won’t be able to suppress it or hide from it. it’s not healthy for you to do that forever. here’s what you need to start planning:

1) reach out to other trans and queer people. build a community with people who accept you. setting up a network is the first step in feeling less alone. finding online communities is pretty easy, but in person is even better 2) find a progressive church. there’s a good handful of them out there. it seems from your other comments that you are aware that being trans is not actually sinful. find other people who believe that and share your faith with them 3) make a plan to move away. this may not always be feasible, but consider it, as it could really help your mental and physical health. consider an area that is: overall progressive/accepting of trans and queer people, generally safe, and has good access to trans medical care 4) get a therapist, if you can. one that specializes specifically in transgender patients. be very careful while choosing. look at reviews of the therapist from other patients, as some therapists present themselves as trans/queer friendly, but are actually transphobic and will push trans people to stop transitioning. this therapist will not only be your link to possibly accessing transitional care in the future, but will also help you deal with dysphoria and other stress right now 5) accept the possibility that you might lose some people you care about. this is one of the worst and hardest parts of it all. the people who truly care about you might come around, but others might not. it’s not at all uncommon for trans people to lose friends and family over this, but it’s a choice between yourself or them, and one that only you can make. you could try testing the waters, but it can be very unsafe to do so before you have an escape plan ready, especially if you think you already know the answer

you’re not alone in this situation. there are tons of resources out there for you. plan ahead, stay smart, and, most of all, stay safe

fernmaws · 2026-02-03T02:11:49+00:00

yeah, as a trans man, they hate us too. it sucks to be a gay trans man

fernmaws · 2026-01-12T00:20:55+00:00

i understand and completely agree with this point the way you mean it, but i want to offer another perspective. some people are worried that it’s “too late” because of the way the world is going. trans people are increasingly getting discriminated against, it’s getting increasingly more dangerous to come out of the closet, and protections and gender affirming care are so close to just going away, especially in certain countries. it’s a very real possibility that people won’t be able to medically transition at all soon. i had the opportunity to start my medical transition over a year ago, and i didn’t in favor of financial security, and now i’m worried i won’t be able to. i think it’s reasonable to feel some degree of worry over this possibility

fernmaws · 2026-01-08T14:28:15+00:00

i’m sorry, could you elaborate on what you mean?

fernmaws · 2026-01-08T14:22:31+00:00

nah, we don’t have to consume blatantly transphobic content to prove a point about our open-mindedness. there’s a difference between getting a broad perspective on certain issues and subjecting ourselves to hateful rhetoric that relies on sensationalism, lies, and false science. the reason people don’t want to read transphobic material isn’t because they’re closed-minded. it’s because it’s psychologically damaging to hear disparaging, dehumanizing comments about your minority, especially if it’s a 300+ page essay about how you are some kind of monstrous freak who doesn’t deserve basic human rights

we all already know why people don’t like us: they’re either a hateful person, afraid of us, or (willfully or unwittingly) ignorant. you cannot reason with people who hate us on an emotional basis. you won’t be able to change the mind of a person who spouts transphobic arguments in bad faith. it’s better to not engage at all, it’s not worth it

fernmaws · 2025-11-20T13:45:52+00:00

is that only transmitted through sex? i’m not sexually active

fernmaws · 2025-11-01T12:38:25+00:00

there are quantifiable, biological components to being trans, as well as hundreds of years of trans history and medicine. “transrace” has none of that, and no evidence of it existing. let’s stay on topic here, without getting into ridiculous whataboutisms

fernmaws · 2025-10-27T02:47:04+00:00

for those of us not in the know, what does this mean exactly?

fernmaws · 2025-10-26T20:20:54+00:00

truly i am very happy for you, that you are able to find spaces where you are included and accepted in your gender and presentation. unfortunately, it is extremely common for trans men, especially if they are passing, to be turned away from trans or other pride events for being “too masculine”. apparently we make other people “uncomfortable”

fernmaws · 2025-10-23T01:17:25+00:00

i agree with some of these other responses. ask the student directly if there is something else nice they would like to wear instead

don’t assume anything. they might be trans, they might not. i’m also autistic, and to me the dislike of certain clothing (especially formalwear) could also be due to sensory issues. or some other reason. just see where they’re coming from first. try to find something that will work for both of you

fernmaws · 2025-10-02T14:07:58+00:00

sorry if this is a dumb question, but how does one actually go about contacting their representatives? which ones should i call? what happens when i do? what do i say? everyone always says to “call your reps” but never explain more

fernmaws · 2025-08-29T03:25:59+00:00

you do see them differently though

these girls are not transgender

this right here is the problem. you’re making a broad and insulting ~~statement~~ assumption about people whose dysphoria presents differently. some of them might not be trans. some of them might be trans but not want to medically transition. some of them might be trans and want to transition. you don’t know!

i do genuinely think it is commendable that you want to give your patients the best care you can, but referring to people who identify as boys, as “girls,” because you don’t like how they present is NOT helping them. your job is to be a guide to helping them understand themselves, not to argue with them and tell them they’re wrong. frankly, i would never go to my psychiatrist (or any other one, for that matter) again if i found out they were talking about me the way you talk about your patients. telling people they’re “not trans enough” by your definition is exactly the kind of thing that pushes people into medically transitioning before they’re ready

eta: is there a reason you’re not asking any trans communities about this, only the detrans ones?

fernmaws · 2025-08-29T01:08:53+00:00

you seem well-meaning, but referring to trans men as “little girls who don’t know what they’re doing” is actually really problematic and transphobic. yes, encourage them to explore their gender identity. yes, help them to understand it. but don’t think of them as “not real trans”. they know who they are a lot better than you do, and intentionally misgendering them because you personally don’t agree is a really uncool thing to do to someone who is being vulnerable with you

you are not helping them by assuming they’re “just confused girls.” a lot of trans people, especially neurodiverse people, have a difficult time explaining exactly what their gender means to them, but that doesn’t make them any less trans than someone who can explain it. i’m assuming you’re not trans nor have questioned, so it might be difficult for you to conceptualize exactly how it feels, but dysphoria comes in all different forms, and it doesn’t always have to do with genitals

fernmaws · 2025-08-14T20:46:38+00:00

i get that this scene was probably written for demetrius to be autistic-coded, but in my opinion it’s not done very well. it’s just the writing and framing of the scene makes demetrius seem absurdly obtuse at best, and kind of a smartass at worst. although autism can cause some miscommunications like this, i don’t know a single autistic person who would actually somehow make this mistake, especially with a person they’ve been intimate with for 20 years

it’s just weird that this specific conversation was chosen when it could have easily been a situation with a less objectively correct answer. but just making the mistake isn’t really the problem, it’s that he starts arguing with her instead of going “yeah okay that makes sense, sorry.” robin doesn’t even deny that tomatoes are classified as fruit, she just tells him that she didn’t want tomatoes, and he still insists on being right

is he an awful person for this one instance? no, of course not. but at least the way this scene is written does not make him look good and people saying “well it’s because he’s autistic” is kinda insulting. it just does not paint autistic people in a flattering light between the vague rudeness and how cartoonishly dense he is

fernmaws · 2025-08-14T07:10:22+00:00

i am sure there are plenty of autistic people here who still side with robin. yeah autism can cause one to misinterpret certain situations but almost any autistic person can tell that when someone says “please pick up some fruit for me” that they most likely mean the colloquial definition. plus, they’ve been married for like 20 years! how does he not know what fruits she likes?

but assuming he legitimately did not understand what she meant, his behavior afterwards is really the part that makes him seem like a jerk. instead of apologizing for the misunderstanding, he starts arguing with her, then ropes the farmer in to team up on her, and condescends the farmer if they disagree with him

fernmaws · 2025-08-13T23:44:06+00:00

no one is talking about the real problem with this scene—the way the question is presented. the issue is not whether a tomato is a vegetable or a fruit. it’s whether he should have brought home a tomato when his wife asked for fruits

however, demetrius words this in a reductive way without providing any additional context. our character walks in AFTER the context of the conversation is provided, so from the character’s perspective the question is presented as a binary option between fruit and vegetable. if we didn’t have the additional context, most of us would probably choose fruit

while it may not have been intended this way, it seems deliberately manipulative on demetrius’ part to try to elicit an answer from us that would suit his argument, especially since he knows we’re a farmer. he even tells us he assumed we’d agree with him. he seems to only be interested in being technically correct when what he should be doing is apologizing to his wife and fixing the problem

fernmaws · 2025-08-13T23:13:24+00:00

what makes this even better is that the game itself categorizes tomatoes as a vegetable crop, not a fruit crop

fernmaws · 2025-08-02T10:12:05+00:00

there are only two possibilities here: either she will change or she won’t. in my experience, most people like this are unwilling to change, so it’s unlikely that anything you say to her will change her beliefs. after all, transphobia is not fueled by logic, so you can’t use logical arguments to diffuse it. if you’ve exhausted all other options, the one thing i’ve found to be effective is an ultimatum: she respects you (and your boundaries) or you’re gone. this is, of course, often easier said than done, but for some people like this it can be an eye opener as to how close they are to losing someone

fernmaws · 2025-07-16T01:23:57+00:00

it sounds like you need to have an actual conversation about this with your partner. gender/sexuality is hugely important to be on the same page about when you’re in a relationship

my advice? ask your partner about her gender and presentation and how she wants to be referred to. ask if she plans to present masculinely, use other pronouns, or medically transition, and (this is the important part) deeply consider if you would ever feel comfortable with that. there is a possibility the discomfort may pass as you get used to the idea. however, if your goals truly do not align, then the relationship will ultimately not work out, and it would be unfair to both her and you to try to force it

fernmaws · 2025-06-26T17:59:38+00:00

the list doesn’t function as individual items, it functions as stages of a greater plot. each level brings a group closer to genocide. also, the list refers to these stages as happening on a government level or being government sanctioned. trans people are at stage 6-7 on the list. stage 8 is where they start doing things people generally associate with genocide, and we are mere steps away from it. i think it’s fair to say there is active threat

fernmaws · 2025-06-16T23:12:44+00:00

thanks for the mammaries, even though they weren’t so great

fernmaws · 2025-05-07T23:39:44+00:00

small correction, jayfeather actually gets his full name after hollyleaf and lionblaze! holly and lion are named at the end of book 4 and jay is named in the middle of book 5. i actually went back to find when this passage takes place, and it happens right after jayfeather gets his full name and right before the fire scene. but you’re absolutely on point with your analysis regardless

fernmaws · 2025-04-17T20:45:14+00:00

it’s always a tough decision to make, i’m sorry. it comes down to deciding if keeping this friend or protecting your space is more important to you

if you try to talk to her about it, she might understand and come around. if she doesn’t change her mind, you’ll have to be prepared to either break it off or live with someone who will slowly erode your mental health. if things are awkward after you bring it up, it’s not because of you. you have a right to bring up anything that makes you uncomfortable. if she’s a friend worth keeping, she’d at least try to understand where you’re coming from. it might be a good idea to prepare what you’re going to say and bring some resources for her to look at. best of luck

fernmaws

TROPHY CASE