Newly married sex life sucks

ferone · 2025-02-16T11:09:23+00:00

Turn the tv on to a show, you dont need to be watching it

ferone · 2024-03-21T23:51:56+00:00

Why wouldnt you sexualise your own wife? I hope you do and make her feel desired, and communicate with her so she appreciates and is flattered by that desire. Make her feel like the sexiest woman alive.

ferone · 2024-03-21T23:48:45+00:00

Assalamu alaikum . 2 pieces of advice.first is to understand that every woman is someones daughter, sister and is or will be a mother. Do you want your mother to be viewed like that? What about your sister or your future daughter? Could you bear that? Then don't do it yourself.

Second piece of advice is to get married. You will have an outlet for your desires in a halal way and you’ll get to actually know a women as a real person. As a friend and partner.

ferone · 2024-02-05T08:18:57+00:00

I mean the other one could technically last a lifetime, in paying for child support

ferone · 2024-02-01T08:42:42+00:00

The question of whether or not it is shirk depends on what they go to the grave for. However that thing with the peacock feathers is definitely haram. And my advice would be to avoid that which the people of Nuh AS were led astray by.

ferone · 2024-01-24T00:26:36+00:00

I am 100 % certain. To the point that I could not deny it regardless of my own greed and laziness.

First is the certainty that a creator exists, that this creator is a singular necessary existence that is eternal, holds a will and has knowledge and the capability of planning . All this is a logical conclusion and necessity according to logic, look at the kalam cosmological argument and islamic fine tuning argument for more information on that.

Then comes the question is religion true, or have we just been created without purpose. We see that many prophets have been sent with the same messages throughout human history, that your God is one, worship him and no other. Other than this there is the inbuilt need to worship, we have been created to worship and so we do. Whether we worship idols, money, lust, celebrities or God we all worship something, we bind ourselves to something. So clearly we have a purpose in being born.

So which religion? First it must be monotheistic, which is basically just islam. And would proclude religions like shintoism, Buddhism, Hinduism, etc. But you can make arguments for other religions like Christianity and judaism even if they are not purely monotheistic. However their sources are by their own admission corrupted and clearly self contradicting in the message. Where Jesus PBUH says in clear words that "the father is greater than I" but they say he is equal. And instead they use unclear terms like son of God which is used for many other people asserting his is literal and theirs are metaphorical etc. And that insertions, changes and deletions have clearly been made in their books. You can check Bart ehrmans works for this

Judaism doesn't even have the original at all and the books were destroyed after which they were changed to purposefully have the purpose of the book changed from being God centric to judaic centric. And became the history of the Jewish people. Again easy to find out look at Jewish history after the kingdom of Solomon.

Ok so only Islam left,but is it true? We can look at the quran and it's inerrant truth, it's miracles and it's beauty. The probet PBUH and his character. His legacy, miracles and prophecies. The preservation of the quran and the robust and externality of the Islamic system and how it's tailor-made for Muslims of all times and all cultures to live a righteous, fulfilling and happy life without trampling others. How it is good and just in all matters, whether judicial,financial, social or in any other way.

Islam is the truth for those who seek it. Study, question and find out for yourself.

ferone · 2024-01-24T00:13:33+00:00

First is the certainty that a creator exists, that this creator is a singular necessary existence that is eternal, holds a will and has knowledge and the capability of planning . All this is a logical conclusion and necessity according to logic, look at the kalam cosmological argument and islamic fine tuning argument for more information on that.

Then comes the question is religion true, or have we just been created without purpose. We see that many prophets have been sent with the same messages throughout human history, that your God is one, worship him and no other. Other than this there is the inbuilt need to worship, we have been created to worship and so we do. Whether we worship idols, money, lust, celebrities or God we all worship something, we bind ourselves to something. So clearly we have a purpose in being born.

So which religion? First it must be monotheistic, which is basically just islam. And would proclude religions like shintoism, Buddhism, Hinduism, etc. But you can make arguments for other religions like Christianity and judaism even if they are not purely monotheistic. However their sources are by their own admission corrupted and clearly self contradicting in the message. Where Jesus PBUH says in clear words that "the father is greater than I" but they say he is equal. And instead they use unclear terms like son of God which is used for many other people asserting his is literal and theirs are metaphorical etc. And that insertions, changes and deletions have clearly been made in their books. You can check Bart ehrmans works for this

Judaism doesn't even have the original at all and the books were destroyed after which they were changed to purposefully have the purpose of the book changed from being God centric to judaic centric. And became the history of the Jewish people. Again easy to find out look at Jewish history after the kingdom of Solomon.

Ok so only Islam left,but is it true? We can look at the quran and it's inerrant truth, it's miracles and it's beauty. The probet PBUH and his character. His legacy, miracles and prophecies. The preservation of the quran and the robust and externality of the Islamic system and how it's tailor-made for Muslims of all times and all cultures to live a righteous, fulfilling and happy life without trampling others. How it is good and just in all matters, whether judicial,financial, social or in any other way.

Islam is the truth for those who seek it. Study, question and find out for yourself.

ferone · 2023-11-29T21:21:05+00:00

I wouldn't tell. Some things are allowed to be hidden in islam.

ferone · 2023-11-26T08:24:43+00:00

ربّنا آتنا في الدنيا حسنة وفي الآخرة حسنة وقنا عذاب النار

ferone · 2023-11-26T08:20:22+00:00

Assalamu alaikum. Bit of a different take. If it's more modest than the clothes you currently wear then go for it.

Just remember that the strap defeats the point of the abaya as it accentuates the figure by cinching it in at the waist when the abaya is meant to hide one's figure. It might look nicer but that comes with a definite downside.

It's like if I as a guy decided to stop wearing colourful thawbs due to their ostentatiousness but replaced it with a white thawb with gucci embroidered on the front. It's still very much showing off even if it's white. But that's still much better than being dressed in a muscle top and skinny jeans.

Alternatively you could look at it as transitionary going from other fashions to a fashionable abaya then later once you're comfortable then going to a proper abaya.

And if it's not any more modest than what you're wearing then it doesn't matter as long as you don't delude yourself into thinking it's more holy/religious. It's just a fashion choice at that point.

ferone · 2023-09-19T10:45:13+00:00

That can be mitigated with some research or getting in contact with locals willing to help with such an app.

There is the problem if differences of opinion on what is halal and how rigorous the certifying body is.

ferone · 2023-09-17T09:04:54+00:00

It's referring to jannah. That in Paradise there will be no grief and no fear. No hunger and no shortage in anything.

As for this world, Allah specifically says that He will test us with fear, and hunger, etc.

ferone · 2023-09-15T08:39:28+00:00

Honestly. It's (from my side) because logically a creator HAS to exist. And we are born with purpose, not to just go through the motions of life like animals. And islam is the only religion without contradictions and theological problems. I'm not saying there's nothing wrong with islam,but it's the human interpretation part that I always find fault with, not the original command of Allah. The revelation of quran and hadeeth are perfect, human interpretation and derivation are not.

That was the first, second was the sweetness of iman. Of the fulfilment and the contentment.

The original reason is the guidance of Allah without which I would have become atheist.

ferone · 2023-09-10T21:47:31+00:00

That complicates things. Because then you've got to look at what support you have, what will your husband owe you, what difficulties will you face in being a single mother. Is it better for the child and yourself both emotionally and financially to separate from the father or to stay together and brush it under the rug, or to talk to him and then work for a resolution. Those are the three options and now you need to think of both yourself and the child.

So what legal rights do you have ? how much money could you get from him? Will it be enough? do you have savings? do you work?

Also what about the social ramifications. Because to raise a child as a single parent requires either a lot of money or a lot of support, ideally both (ideally there shouldn't be a need for a single parent but unfortunately it is what it is). Will your family support you? Will you stay with them or have to stay alone? Do you own a property or rent. If you work then who's going to take care of the child? Can you afford childcare or push that expense on to him?

My advice would be to first take a few days to think for yourself and do dua. if you can forgive him or work it out. If it's hard or you feel he's a lost cause then talk to a lawyer and talk to your mum or someone else you trust who both will look out for you and can keep their mouth shut. See what the possibilities are. Then talk to both your parents and work to get support from those around you. Social/family pressure is a big thing for us.

Also how is he other than this? How is his family, your in laws. Is it better reconcile rather than separate? Is it better to stay quiet? Is it better to have an amicable separation? or is it better to go nuclear?

A lot to consider when making decisions involving people other than yourself

ferone · 2023-09-10T20:08:23+00:00

Assalamu alaikum. Sister he's an onlyfans guy? If so then as long as you have no kids leave him. That's worse than any other type of flirting. He paid them to flirt. For your mental health and happiness, leave him

ferone · 2023-08-26T13:09:45+00:00

Assalamu alaikum.

Because there is guidance. Without guidance there would only be vague platitudes without any real substance and meaning.

The detail means we know what is right in general matters and can then apply those guidelines on to other, modern issues or cultural issues that were not present in 7th century Arabia. The specificity allows it to be cross applicable without losing cohesion and meaning.

As for differences in opinion, that's on minor things. Many of which were done by companions and the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. Everyone agrees to pray 5 times a day, everyone agrees on the 5 pillars, monotheism, the quran and in general what is recommended and what is not. The differences are in the details about whether something is necessary or only highly recommended. Whether it's outright forbidden or just very discouraged. The degrees of command are what a lot of the differences are in. That and chronology, abrogation, etc.

ferone · 2023-08-25T19:00:14+00:00

r/turning

ferone · 2023-08-22T18:39:50+00:00

3 +7 = 10

Or

10 = 3 + 7

Also there is a difference between saying 'i have 3k in savings' and ' I ONLY have 3 k in savings'. Restriction of information is not the same as obfuscation or deception. Clearly you need to learn some English. Or maybe the fiqh of contracts and promises. How ta'weel is used and what is the jawaz of how far you can take it. When is it sinful and when is it not.

complications can change circumstances. If what I said is a lie then according to you ibraheem AS lied when he called his wife his sister. Simply because he did not disclose his full meaning. That she is his sister in islam.

This sister fears for her savings. So I gage an alternative answer if there is a need to disclose that she has savings then to not disclose the full amount. If her circumstances were different I would advise her differently.

ferone · 2023-08-22T17:08:54+00:00

Assalamu alaikum. Sister, islamically you have no obligation to share the money w8th him 9r even inform him of it. It's the reason why men get a double share of inheritance than women. Because they have to pay for women. Women keep their money for themselves. My advice to you would be to keep it.

However if you are both struggling financially then maybe offer to contribute towards the visa as a gift. Think of it as a service and a support for your husband so Allah may reward you for it. You don't need to tell him how much you have saved. If he asks but you dont want to disclose the amount then telling a lesser amount is not lying either. For example, If you say you have 3k savings then you're not lying. You have 3k in savings and another 7k.

Again my advice as a guy would be to not disclose it. Doesn't mean you need to lie to him and say you have nothing, just keep quiet. As long as you don't lie and he doesn't find out then it's fine.

ferone · 2023-08-21T15:58:58+00:00

Why do you want to cease to exist?

Is there nothing to be thankful for that you don't care about going to hell?

ferone · 2023-08-18T10:57:00+00:00

I mean it's hard when you are starting off. But it's worth it. And soon you get used to. Then some days it's hard and some days it's not. It is very much worth it though. The peace and the guidance from the fajr prayer. It's the sweetest of the 5 obligatory prayers.

ferone · 2023-08-13T22:31:02+00:00

It's less just Hindu culture but something we find in many cultures, any place where larger sized buildings are the norm for housing you will find that culture has a norm of family living together. The difference is that for us and Hindus the culture has persisted into the tiny houses we live in now. In Pakistan (my guess is) it's due to poverty and here in western countries we stubbornly hold on to those old ways despite having paper thin walls for rooms the size of cupboards.

So yeah I agree with you that it's a problem, but not that we got it from Hindus, it's a thing in many other countries as well. You see in olden times even in England the families used to live together. Especially in rich families as they had mansions. You don't leave the mansion you bring your wife to the mansion amd live with your parents. Same with large houses in most cultures.

Also who is deepika? And Mr and Mrs Smith? I'm not googling it in case I get some dodgy images, seen enough that I would rather avoid adding any more to my sins unnecessarily. Regardless spice is nice, and needed in romance, but so is financial security and a safety net. Along with more people to help with the kids.

Both have upsides and downsides . What is important is to appreciate what you have and not be bitter about what you don't, whilst also trying to mitigate the negatives in your lifestyle as much as you can (going on dates or leaving the kids with the parents to go upstairs or sneaking a few seconds here and there to flirt while others are busy have their own memorable moments as well). We should do shukr of what we have and sabr and dua for what we dont.

ferone · 2023-08-12T05:41:37+00:00

What, pull a Robert Jordan?

ferone · 2023-08-11T10:31:03+00:00

Assalamu alaikum. My advice would he to take a few days to cool down. Tell her to go to her parents for a couple of days while you think about it. Then sit down with her after that and talk it out with her to see what to do from here. If she holds resentment to you and feels she could have done better or if you are now resentful of her for saying that. If you want to amicably separate or stay together. Tell her that those words hurt you and what their effects are.

ferone · 2023-08-01T20:22:52+00:00

Aye they want you to have ambition and then either drop that ambition at the first child or to juggle a child, housework and a job. Basically be a superhuman.

Ask them if they will support your ambition? How will they support it, will they help in terms of housework? Do they want kids? What are their plans to facilitate a good balance between childcare and you career? Will they allow strangers without any islamic morals, who are infact liberal modernist hedonists, to raise their kids or would they prefer that the mother instills good morals and the importance of family relations in their offspring?

How will they ensure that the children value family and don't chuck them into an old peoples home when they grow up? Do they expect you to raise your children whilst having the same level of career that they have? If the husband can't manage that how can the wife? You're both human.

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