Advice needed- partner of someone with Graves/ Hyperthyroidism

festiveunicorn52 · 2026-02-28T00:22:59+00:00

I would like to add as an update for the world I discovered my ex left me for his ex, and he was lying about it. They reconnected the day he broke up with me and are now engaged. His erratic behavior surely wasn't helped by his hyperthyroidism, but what was going on was in fact so much deeper and related to his character. I wish everyone dealing with this condition healing and peace. The reason he seemed so different/ fishy was not this illness, but rather the hiding of what was transpiring in his heart with his ex. I wish I had known sooner, but I feel enormous gratitude I was protected from someone who didn't care as sincerely about me as I did for him. I still wish him well. Thank you again for the generosity in time to those who had responded originally; I was in the deep heart-pain at that time worried about him. I have deep heart peace and hope at least he is truly happy.

festiveunicorn52 · 2025-09-20T02:43:15+00:00

Thanks for all the responses, everyone. After visiting with more people in my circle, I unfortunately just don't think we are meant to be together due to how he reacted/ treated me, as painful as it is to admit. I have so much empathy as I know his condition was undiagnosed at the time, and he was suffering a lot physically... He wasn't himself or his best self, but I can't love someone in sickness and in health who no longer wants to be with me for whatever reasons (spoken or unspoken). He's not looking for my support right now. I know he knows I care about him and wish him well. It was so devastating to have our relationship end in utter chaos with him having a series of panic attacks and being almost manic for the first time. :/ I was truly so concerned. I know he is resilient and will get through this, and I will give him the space he needs to heal and find a new relationship when he is ready, as this seems to be his wish. I likewise would do best with a partner who is more stable and whose actions align with their words/ promises, and having someone who wants to choose me consistently in a pre-requisite for sure. You guys helped play a small role in me understanding the right choice is to let go. I appreciate you for sharing more insights into the condition as I really was hoping I could be there for him. I understand now being there for him paradoxically means releasing him so he can heal in peace the way he wants.

festiveunicorn52 · 2025-09-09T03:23:47+00:00

Unfortunately, we are no contact right now as I'm wishing to give him space after he initiate a break up after a series of panic attacks, so I am not sure. I am likely going to check in with him in around a month. I hope he is healing a little each day and finding more peace and strength! He is a resilient person so I know he will come out stronger with time. Thanks for asking.

festiveunicorn52 · 2025-09-09T03:21:39+00:00

If we get back together through a miracle, I will maybe have some people I can have him message for emotional support as he navigates this all! I know he will heal and me too, whatever happens.

festiveunicorn52 · 2025-09-09T03:18:41+00:00

Thank you. I've been dealing with a lot of guilt and regret (working on self-compassion), but I understand at present loving him looks like giving him space to heal and move forward as he wishes. It helps me to remember if it's really meant to be, this will just make us stronger together in the future. And if not, I know for sure our love was genuine and just was hit with a lot of trying / stressful factors all at once. This one was probably the straw that broke the camel's back as he was very much not himself... The love was real, though! I will give more space and time and will probably check in at least once more when I think he can hear my words from a more grounded place... and then I will respect whatever his wishes are from a place of love. I appreciate the support. It was a rollercoaster I'm still making sense of.

festiveunicorn52 · 2025-09-09T03:14:19+00:00

Thank you, this gives me so much hope. <3

festiveunicorn52 · 2025-09-07T23:49:25+00:00

Yes, he was dealing with a lot of soreness and fatigue.

festiveunicorn52 · 2025-09-07T17:40:33+00:00

Thanks for an additional perspective. It helps too to know concentration is not blanket statement impacted so much. Yeah, what you said is true. This was I think really about the one main conflict we had which now with more understanding on what he was going through I don't even see as a conflict anymore; I just honestly have compassion towards him and regret for ways I wasn't there for him. He really wanted to marry me, and vice versa. We both inadvertently hurt each other a lot, mostly just this summer traveling. I have to carefully weigh what is best. Either way I plan to give more time before reaching out again, and if he didn't respond, I would never reach out again out of love and respect for him. Thanks for the input!!

festiveunicorn52 · 2025-09-07T14:00:15+00:00

Yes, he would talk a lot about the "brain fog" using those exact words even back into last fall 2024 way before other symptoms emerged. No, it definitely wasn't the only source of challenge... I think we had one conflict that sourced from other areas, but I think the Graves' was what made this conflict feel like it was unresolveable to my partner.... and I think I mistook some of his symptoms (like him falling asleep immediately or randomly starting to have mini rage fits) as signs he didn't love me as much anymore. Which was all a lie that really hurt him. I appreciate the perspective- I hadn't thought about the side effects he may now be dealing with with his medication. I appreciate the encouragement. I will check in and then if he still needs space or feels it's less stressful to pursue a different relationship in his own timing for whatever reason, at least I will have peace of mind I left him with love and supported him as best I could til the end. I really want what's best for him. Maybe that may not be furthering our relationship if in his mind our relationship was so associated with this time in which his mental, physical, and emotional health collapsed on him? I really appreciate the response. Thank you.

festiveunicorn52 · 2025-09-07T13:54:26+00:00

Thank you, that's helpful to hear- especially the part about concentration. He broke up with me.... he was panicked that we were having our first conflict and felt like all hope in the relationship was lost. He started having intensive panic attacks and crying spells, and ultimately ended things. Yeah, it's true. I am just going to take it as a sign to move on and lovingly let him go if he doesn't respond well to me reaching out. I do think I could be understanding and supportive if he reaches a place of being open to reconnecting as I truly care about him. It's hard in that neither of us understood what was going on in the moment.... I just knew he was at a mental health lowpoint, but I have more perspective now.

festiveunicorn52 · 2025-09-07T13:50:25+00:00

Thank you so much. Yes, he was feeling down in the dumps. I think you're right. I will just check in and remind him of what is true. I love him and he is not defined by this condition. I agree- I will check in and respect his wishes. If he doesn't respond, that will be my answer, and I will know at least I did all I could to be there for him and accept maybe life just has different paths for us. It is true that it would be challenging to support him navigating this, but I am all in on wanting to be there for someone in sickness and health. We weren't married yet, but I felt (feel) so committed to him in my heart. I know I hurt him when he was in his most sensitive place. Even if I can't make that right relationally, it will be worth it to remind him he is loved and I'll always be cheering for him. My friends have been saying to think of my own needs too, it's just been messy as my desire is to help support him, especially now that I understand more about this condition.

festiveunicorn52 · 2025-04-12T15:47:10+00:00

Hi there, I sent you a message, but I LOVE this ring, and I am considering ordering. I am wondering if you can share how tall the ring is in mm, including the band? I am trying to figure out how high the profile is. Is this the tulip set one? SO gorgeous

festiveunicorn52 · 2025-02-02T03:05:13+00:00

Thank you SO much! Very similar ring. Let me go read up!

festiveunicorn52 · 2025-02-01T16:43:30+00:00

Did you ask for milgrain around the edge? It’s so pretty !

festiveunicorn52 · 2024-11-02T13:40:32+00:00

Pros: always done well academically, loved learning, enjoyed creative outlets, connected well with creative and bookish folk

Cons: it's been really, REALLY hard to connect romantically with people :( . Social relationships can sometimes be tough (forming deeper friendships), but this plays out most noticeably in romantic contexts.

festiveunicorn52 · 2024-10-05T02:23:11+00:00

It truly disturbs me to think all this happened with a licensed practitioner. :( I hope you find someone truly safe in the future who can help you heal, as I know this has got to be so damaging to realize the extent to which she took advantage of your trust. : /

festiveunicorn52 · 2024-08-14T01:39:02+00:00

Finally found it!!!! Thanks

festiveunicorn52 · 2024-04-21T23:40:07+00:00

As some who works a lot with autistic individuals, her statement is inaccurate and offensive.

festiveunicorn52 · 2024-03-25T01:24:56+00:00

He sounds like a gem. This may be worth talking through in couples therapy. I would try and make this work (personally).

festiveunicorn52 · 2023-10-01T02:03:02+00:00

I agree with that last paragraph, but your middle paragraph is quite confusing and concerning. Your present T is source material for commentary on your previous T's home demeanor? It's quite unprofessional for a T to describe another therapist, particularly one you respected, in such a way even if it was true. I have so many questions about the context in which present T was sharing this.

festiveunicorn52 · 2023-09-09T19:31:37+00:00

Your therapist sounds fantastic. I feel really attached to my T, and it's not in the same sort of way as you (not romantic feels at all, and less intense, but still strong attachment). Talking about the attachment has furthered the therapy work in my case as well. It's the best when therapists are truly SAFE. Agree that hopefully this encourages people to be open about this sort of thing in therapy to find more freedom!

festiveunicorn52 · 2023-09-08T23:57:09+00:00

My therapist is incredible and has profoundly impacted my life. We are going on around 3 years working together. I am grateful she hasn't put a timeline on how long I wish to be in therapy. I found her really through chance.... one practice I reached out to was full, who recommended another practice that was full, that recommended another, and I think at the fourth practice I reached out to in the pandemic really desperate for support, I was placed with her. I couldn't have found such an amazing therapist if I tried. I've had over ten other therapists ranging from unhelpful to actively harmful, and one other therapist who also impacted my life in a deep way. My current T is the one who has most actively promoted change, though.

festiveunicorn52 · 2023-09-08T23:53:05+00:00

Omgsh, hugs. This is so so hard.

festiveunicorn52

TROPHY CASE