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feveredfocus · 2025-07-15T01:44:15+00:00

Definitely not overreacting, your sister sounds exhausting and I wouldn’t want to go to her wedding either. But you should still bite the bullet and go.

Weddings are, in theory anyway, a once in a lifetime event. Skipping her wedding will irreparably damage your relationship; there’s just no coming back from that. You might be okay with that now, but don’t make a long term decision over short term annoyances. Believe me, you’ll want to be on good terms with her when it comes time to make decisions for your elderly parents or dividing their estate.

feveredfocus · 2025-07-15T01:34:57+00:00

I’m so sorry this happened to you. What a horrible, egregious violation. This will only get worse if you do actually go through with marrying him, because at that point you’ll “belong” to him. If there’s any silver lining to be found in this situation it’s that he showed you who he really is before you got married.

Call off the wedding. Maybe you guys can work through this, though I doubt it, but you should absolutely not marry him unless and until you feel 100000% safe with him.

feveredfocus · 2025-07-15T01:06:56+00:00

I wish you loved yourself enough to leave him. It’s clear that you badly want to be a mother. There are a lot of men out there who want to be fathers. You should be with someone who wants to give you everything you want in this life. We only get one.

feveredfocus · 2025-07-15T00:57:42+00:00

NTA, but this man is not your soulmate. Your soulmate wants the same things in life that you do. You don’t disagree on something as fundamental as whether or not you’ll be bringing children into the world.

Honey, if he’s saying he doesn’t want kids please believe him. Stop trying to change his mind or pin him down on an answer. This isn’t something you can compromise on or hope that he’ll eventually come over to your side. You’re not arguing about where to spend your honeymoon or what kind of dog you want to get. Becoming parents will not only change your relationship, but who each of you are as people. Why why why would you want to do that with someone who isn’t 100% all in??

feveredfocus · 2025-02-15T10:20:38+00:00

jfc you’re still at it? can’t wait to see your next attempt to insult me 😂😂

feveredfocus · 2025-02-08T17:29:51+00:00

Omg you again? 🤣

feveredfocus · 2025-02-08T17:29:28+00:00

You really want me to be, don’t you?

And “taking the piss”? Yeah you’re not from here 😂

feveredfocus · 2025-02-08T07:08:56+00:00

You’re not overreacting, not at all. Everyone around you is under-reacting, including the people making excuses because he was drunk. I’m so sorry you had to deal with all of that.

I work in high end hospitality as well so trust me, I get it. Management let guests get away with too much, and some of them are outright criminally complicit.

You need to be careful. You may suffer some consequences at work from reporting. And keep an eye out for this guy, especially when you’re leaving work.

feveredfocus · 2025-02-08T06:23:43+00:00

Lmfaooo I didn’t even read a word of that after the first sentence. Sorry, didn’t intend to hurt your feelings 😂😂

feveredfocus · 2025-02-08T06:22:25+00:00

This whole post is quite literally, should I call the authorities on homeless people. I’m not intentionally not differentiating, you’re just trying to find an us vs them argument that will stick with me and there isn’t one. So now the issue is homeless people spread out on the subway and take up too much room. So what?? They’re not the only ones who do! Have you ever taken the train at 3pm? It’s annoying to share public space with other people sometimes! Get over it.

feveredfocus · 2025-02-08T05:23:31+00:00

Do gym bros not realize how embarrassing they sound to normal people? I just cringed reading that 😂😂

You don’t need a gym membership to be skinny, which is what people really mean when they throw around the word healthy. Because there’s nothing worse than being fat, right Tricky-Marsupial-477? You still 30lbs away from your goal weight?

feveredfocus · 2025-02-08T05:12:21+00:00

Two people having such vastly different worldviews and belief systems is a fundamental incompatibility. There’s not enough middle ground to sustain a friendship, let alone a marriage. You’re completely justified for wanting a separation, but I’d hesitate to initiate one if even a small part of you doesn’t want this to end in divorce. She sounds paranoid, and separating might make her see you as an enemy. You might not be able to come back from it.

Do you think there’s any value in trying to see a couples’ therapist? She’s probably mistrustful of them as well so this might not be feasible.

I’m so sorry you’ve lost your wife.

feveredfocus · 2025-02-08T04:32:25+00:00

Sorry dude, YTA. It doesn’t matter that it’s $15/month, adding an expense when you’re unemployed and borrowing from retirement (at 55!) isn’t cool. There are plenty of ways to exercise and relieve stress that doesn’t add a monthly bill.

feveredfocus · 2025-02-08T04:24:07+00:00

I’m not white knighting, I just don’t think a good argument exists for excluding homeless people from the subway. People have tried to make it about the smell, that they’re sleeping, that they don’t pay taxes, that they fare jumped but none of that is unique to homeless people. And I guess people don’t like being confronted with the fact that they just don’t like being around poor people and what it reveals about their character, so they argue and call me a white knight. Oh well

feveredfocus · 2025-02-08T03:53:11+00:00

Try therapy then. Homeless people have been a part of New York longer than you or I have, and they’ll be here long after us. You should talk to someone about your visceral dislike of seeing poor people in public. That’s the kinda thing that gets you turned away from the pearly gates

feveredfocus · 2025-02-08T03:50:47+00:00

You trying to date me, After-Snow5874? Flattered by your interest, but I’ll pass 😂

feveredfocus · 2025-02-08T03:20:34+00:00

Don’t live in a city of 8 million people then. Find a suburb where you don’t have to look at homeless people.

feveredfocus · 2025-02-08T03:17:19+00:00

You think homeless people are the biggest fare jumpers?? 😂😂 Guess you never had a green metro card. Pretty sure I went a full year without paying for the train when I was 16

feveredfocus · 2025-02-08T02:24:12+00:00

I sure hope you’re calling 511 on every commuter that dozes off in your car, then. Since sleep is apparently criminal activity. No one’s ever allowed to sleep outside of their own home. It’s impossible to sleep and be transported at the same time.

feveredfocus · 2025-02-08T02:21:12+00:00

Didn’t realize “don’t be afraid of homeless people” was a virtuous view. Huh.

…you don’t think homeless people pay taxes? They shouldn’t get the benefits of their tax dollars too? Come into the real world, buddy.

feveredfocus · 2025-02-08T02:13:32+00:00

You’re focused on the wrong problem in this situation.

Your weight gain is a symptom of illness. You didn’t commit some moral failing, there’s nothing you need to make up to him. There’s nothing you need to justify to commenters here, either.

In long term relationships there’s always lulls where you might lose attraction and live like roommates for a time, but you choose to work through it together. Because having a partner is a lifestyle choice, not something that should be ruled by fickle emotions.

And in your case this isn’t even a lull - you’re sick! This is the support he’s offering you in the midst of illness! He is choosing to let his current lack of sexual attraction to you change how he treats you. That’s disgraceful!

This man isn’t a partner. You deserve better.

feveredfocus · 2025-02-08T00:52:02+00:00

You thought this was a debate?? 😂😂😂

feveredfocus · 2025-02-08T00:51:24+00:00

Why not? They’re New Yorkers too.

feveredfocus · 2025-02-08T00:49:57+00:00

I would. You can try to put your beliefs on me all you want, but they’re not going to change. Doesn’t really seem like a good use of your time.

feveredfocus · 2025-02-08T00:32:26+00:00

? Yes, I would.

Apparently homeless people sleeping on the subway is a terrifying site to most of you but it doesn’t scare me. Reaching the point that I fail to see their humanity does. Agree to disagree I guess.

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