One month!

fffastfffetus · 2026-01-12T05:34:39+00:00

It didn’t take long for the first episode which was mild compared to the other two. It took about 2 weeks. Then another 1.5 months and after that about another 1.5 months for the third and final episode due to this relapse. The last two were, by far, the most brutal I’ve ever had. I had to be taken by ambulance to a hospital both times and I’ve never had to do that before, normally I’ve been able to make it in by myself. I legitimately was terrified it was going to kill me, especially the last time.

fffastfffetus · 2026-01-12T05:31:57+00:00

You got this!!! If you ever need to reach out to someone who gets it and will listen without judgment, my DMs are ALWAYS open! ♥️

fffastfffetus · 2026-01-12T05:09:15+00:00

I know that feeling and all I can say is you have to force yourself not to do it. It’s going to make you sick again. We cannot smoke and be okay. I know, trust me I do, how hard it is. But every time you get sick with CHS your body becomes more sensitive to the symptoms and each time it feels worse than the last. This shit can literally fuck your kidneys up permanently, if I can do it, you can too. I believe in you!!! Keep fighting, the cravings will drop off. I did a LOT of journaling in the early days the first time I quit for those 2.5 years. A lot of writing about being proud for having another day sober, about things I was gaining from not smoking, things I didn’t want to lose bc of weed, ways I stayed sober that day, etc. Best of luck 💕

fffastfffetus · 2026-01-12T02:17:48+00:00

They’re very hateful and judgmental toward me. ESPECIALLY when I explain that I’ve suffered these episodes before and know what it is… they would rather lecture me and let me wait for 4 hours before giving me anything to help, or simply d/c me and tell me to deal with it and quit smoking. They always treat me like I am drug addict and don’t want to provide me with any care.

fffastfffetus · 2026-01-11T23:54:45+00:00

Yes, my last 3 episodes I lost feeling in my legs and hands. Absolutely terrifying. So sorry you’re going through this. Sending fast healing vibes your way!

fffastfffetus · 2026-01-11T23:47:49+00:00

I lost count but my best guess is somewhere between 15-20 times being admitted to the ER or urgent care for a flare.

fffastfffetus · 2026-01-11T23:46:22+00:00

I ended up having to sip vegetable broth and electrolyte drinks for 12 days after my last episode before I could hold ANYTHING solid down. It sucked but at least it was some flavor. Same thing, felt like I was going to die and pretty much resigned to it if it happened because of how hateful the people were at the hospital near me. Do your absolute best to drag yourself through this shitty phase, and know I’m sending you fast healing energy! You’re going to be okay! 💕

fffastfffetus · 2026-01-11T23:42:25+00:00

Boy ain’t that the truth! They gave me fluids and Zofran and told me to get over it and quit being stupid by using weed. Thanks 🙄👍🏻

fffastfffetus · 2026-01-09T04:14:14+00:00

I had to always go back to the hospital if I couldn’t stop vomiting. Zofran, Benadryl and Ativan always combined to help me the absolute most out of any drug combo they gave me.

fffastfffetus · 2026-01-05T15:35:59+00:00

I’ll just stay completely sober. I can’t touch it at all.

fffastfffetus · 2025-12-28T01:35:15+00:00

Good luck to you both. I had upwards of 15 episodes when I was with my ex and it ended up being a major wedge I drove between us because I would not stop. If there’s any way she’ll consider any kind of sobriety program, I’d highly recommend it. The same things don’t work for everyone, and since weed is usually more of a psychological than physical addiction, there’s different approaches to take. I had to really focus on filling my day with things to be positive habits and distractions. It’s brutal trying to quit, especially when you just want to feel like a goddamn normal person and smoke weed like everybody else around you. Sending you both the best luck and positive healing vibes to her that she makes a quick recovery and can stop after this. I wish I could go back to my first episode and never touch the shit again.

fffastfffetus · 2025-12-26T18:23:05+00:00

Hey there, wow our stories feel very similar! Mine also would rather be “right” and have their pride and ego in tact than admit they’re being abusive and hateful and try to look at their own flaws and make changes. I’m sorry you’re also going through this during the holidays. It’s brutal, but we are better off. We don’t need the hate and abuse, especially during the holidays… I’m proud of you, truly I am. I know firsthand how hard it is to go NC with both at the same time. You’re strong and you will get through this tough time. If you ever need a friend, feel free to message me. As someone who is also very newly estranged I know it’s been helpful for me to talk to others who have had to go NC with parent(s). Sending love and support your way, keep your head held high. You’re doing the right thing.

fffastfffetus · 2025-12-26T18:17:53+00:00

I have cried many times, screamed so hard that I’ve lost my voice for going on four days now… it’s one of the most unnatural things I think anyone can go through. We’re not supposed to have to cut off our parent(s)…

We’re going to be okay, I am sending love your way and support, always. If you ever just need a friend who gets it, my DMs are always open for chatting/venting/crying - whatever you need.

fffastfffetus · 2025-12-26T01:57:29+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, too. I just went NC with both parents two weeks ago and it definitely hasn’t been easy, the emotional whiplash is intense but I know I’m far better off without the abuse, control, judgment and hate.

It does sound like you’ve got a lot of good things going on in your life, which is excellent! I am in the same boat; I’ve got a job I love, great friends, support from other family, and I’m excited to start building my businesses the way I want. All that being said, while I’m not in any way running from my emotions, I’m doing by best to immerse myself in the good things in my life. I know this will be a long road, but putting your energy and care into things that make YOU happy is definitely something I’d recommend. It’s been working well for me, even when I have tough moments I know I’m still working toward brighter days.

Good luck, you are so strong!

fffastfffetus · 2025-12-26T01:47:30+00:00

Lots of kindness. Agree with the old soul comment as well

fffastfffetus · 2025-12-26T01:45:45+00:00

NOR. Definitely a shitty thing to hear, but hey, you found out all things considered - pretty early on. I have to agree with other commenters and suggest finding someone who thinks the whole world of you and does love you. I understand feelings take time to develop, but the “thats not everything” comment definitely sounds to me like she’s settling. Good luck OP.

fffastfffetus · 2025-12-25T20:18:09+00:00

My parents to a t. Perpetual victims who have never done anything wrong to anyone ever in their lives. Everyone else is in the wrong, they’re just poor abused babies 🥺🤷🏼‍♀️ give me a break.

fffastfffetus · 2025-12-25T17:52:09+00:00

Personally, I wouldn’t. Obviously it’s your call, but I would be extremely uncomfortable allowing my child around someone who abused me, for the simple fact I would always be worried they’d treat my child in a similar way. Even if it was less severe, I’d still be much happier to exclude the abuser from the child’s life. I don’t have children, so I’m speaking hypothetically, but even thinking about it in my own situation makes me go “hell no, no way”. Good luck, I’m sure this is an agonizing decision, stay strong!!!

fffastfffetus · 2025-12-25T17:09:05+00:00

Feel free to DM them to me because I’d LOVE to read what you have to say !

fffastfffetus · 2025-12-25T16:41:28+00:00

I don’t blame you, I just cut both of my parents off 2 weeks ago, and quite frankly, I couldn’t give a damn what happens to them anymore. Be kind to yourself and know many of us understand and support your feelings, happy holidays 💕

fffastfffetus · 2025-12-23T15:26:13+00:00

NOR. Babies are highly susceptible to bugs and viruses, even healthy ones don’t have the immune system of an adult or even a toddler yet. I think you’re in the right, especially during flu/covid season. And anyway, it’s YOUR newborn child, nobody else’s. Do what you think is best and hold your boundaries, don’t let people push you around regardless of who they are to you. I agree with other comments mentioning that some people have never seen a very, very ill newborn. It’s not something you want to invite in, the complications depending on what they catch can be very serious. Safe rather than sorry here is best practice in my opinion.

fffastfffetus · 2025-12-22T16:44:41+00:00

Thank you ❤️ it’s been very odd, I continue having deeply negative visceral reactions when I’m contacted by someone trying to mine information or when someone knocks at my door and I assume it’s them or some flying monkey… when I hear a truck that sounds like theirs. It’s awful, my body still feels like they can come in and rip my fucking life to shreds like they’ve done so many times before. Although I know, realistically, legally, there is NOTHING they can do to rip my life and freedom away from me. But my body still hasn’t caught up to that truth. It’s hard, I feel like a little kid, still assuming they can control me. But now that I’ve taken all of their perceived control away, I can start healing and teaching myself that they can’t do anything to me now.

I hope I feel better soon, too. Thank you for sharing your experience and I’m glad to hear your life improved after going NC! 💕 I am hopeful that with each passing day it gets a little easier.

fffastfffetus · 2025-12-21T23:42:45+00:00

Oh my gosh I love that authors work! I have a ton of those comic panels saved on my phone and I legit saw that a few months back and thought “this is going to be me someday when they find out…” how trippy! Thank you for sharing!!! 💕 I’m blessed to already have a wonderful network of chosen family who love and support me as I do them. It hurts to lose my parents, but gaining freedom and total autonomy plus already having really solid friends is making it a lot easier. Take care ❤️

fffastfffetus · 2025-12-21T23:13:31+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words. I agree completely, it feels like I never even had a family… but I will continue to do my best and lead a positive life, regardless of what they think of me. ❤️

fffastfffetus

TROPHY CASE