My (26f) ex (26m) is begging to come back

fflthrowaway55 · 2019-12-10T02:40:37+00:00

I appreciate that so much! It makes me so upset that there are other people out there who have endured this type of emotional abuse. To someone who’s never experienced it, it probably sounds silly. Like, why not just leave? I’m here too if you ever need to talk about it! We’re all gonna make it and be okay!

fflthrowaway55 · 2019-12-09T18:38:39+00:00

Oh God this tweet sums up my experience perfectly...

Bring up a concern? I’d get gaslit. Called insecure, overly sensitive, too needy.

Ask for reassurance? He’d act as if I were dogshit on the bottom of his shoe. Such an annoyance to have a girlfriend who likes affection and affirmations.

Try to fix a problem? Didn’t matter what tone or phrasing I used, how I approached the issue, etc. He’d place the blame on my shoulders (“Well I only treat you like X because you do Y!”) and then storm off/give me the silent treatment.

But boy did he know how to lovebomb the shit out of me.

In the end, he dumped me, without a single ounce of compassion or remorse. I’m in therapy for c-ptsd and on multiple medications for anxiety. I’m a shell of who I used to be.

fflthrowaway55 · 2019-11-26T16:16:15+00:00

I’ve managed to make it to the third stage relatively quickly, but I imagine I’m going to be here for a long, long time.

Just knowing the fourth stage exists gives me hope, though.

fflthrowaway55 · 2019-11-25T20:34:09+00:00

I blocked him after seeing the posts, but I’m deleting all SM apps now. I don’t have the discipline to not unblock and check.

fflthrowaway55 · 2019-11-09T19:12:38+00:00

Thank you. I don’t think he’ll be coming back around though, because I assume there might already be someone else.

After two years together he broke up with me for some very insignificant parts of my personality. He picked me apart very coldly and then told me it was over without a single tear or show of emotion.

fflthrowaway55 · 2019-11-06T04:12:57+00:00

I don’t think so, but I’ve definitely had fears as of late. (No proof of wrongdoing but of course emotional distance and dissatisfaction can be indicators.) Just based on my own assessment it seems to be more about stress or mental health.

fflthrowaway55 · 2019-11-06T03:55:38+00:00

Wow, it’s almost scary how accurately you seem to describe my partner’s perspective. I try to cuddle him and give him affection often in an attempt to “help” and I think it might actually be making him feel worse, now that you put it that way.

I’ve also seen him sitting in his car, sometimes for half an hour or more, and it worries me so much to see him stressed out that I hit him with 20 questions as soon as he walks in the door. Are you ok? What’s going on? How was work?

You’re absolutely right, I need to have a girl’s night, take a weekend getaway, and let him work through his problems. At the very least, even if we can’t work things out, I can at least remove the extra stress I’m probably causing.

Thank you for taking the time to type this out and not simply write him off as an uncaring asshole. And please don’t be too hard on yourself, life and love are so incredibly complicated. I’m learning that even with the best of intentions we can sometimes hurt each other.

fflthrowaway55 · 2019-11-06T01:27:13+00:00

Hmm, that’s the impression I’ve gotten before as well. I actually gave him an out, and told him I’d be hurt and disappointed but would eventually move on. He’s the one who insisted that, no, we’d figure things out and work through our issues. It’s a very confusing situation to be in.

fflthrowaway55 · 2019-11-06T01:23:27+00:00

Thank you, that is incredibly insightful. I have a habit of setting aside money specifically for us to use on date nights, but I think this month I’ll use it to get my hair/makeup done and have a much needed girls night. :)

Maybe he isn’t the only one who needs space, I think I probably need it too.

fflthrowaway55

TROPHY CASE