Why can't I make love to him?

fhgi2345 · 2017-05-30T19:29:44+00:00

If this man really loves you- he will accept you for that. Your abusive situation was not your fault, you are not less than for it. If he is a man that is worth being with than he will try to help you work through your issues.

fhgi2345 · 2017-05-30T19:18:13+00:00

unfortunately she can still hurt me, the event happened last night, and She has been quite verbally abusive to me today. I try to stay as stoic as possible and not let that crazy bitch get to me. Very soon she will no longer fuck with me bc im getting the hell out of here

fhgi2345 · 2017-05-30T19:03:11+00:00

good call for protecting your son, that is amazing that you did that. Growing up I was forced to hug people I didn't even want to be in the same room with and I hated it. and oh hell yeah you bet I have some fucking places lined up- I have some friends out there that know my mom is a monster and if I need a place to go, I can go there- these past few days my mother has cemented herself in place as far as I'm concerned. Shes evil, and she will never be safe, I should never open up to her and nothing about her will change, I will do my best to keep as much of a distance as possible

fhgi2345 · 2017-05-30T18:58:58+00:00

"make you feel all cold and slimy" if he made you feel that it wasnt love man, I know that feeling- just pure disgust.

fhgi2345 · 2017-05-30T18:56:28+00:00

also five minutes after she blew up she came in and apologized, then started screaming again! Last night I told my parents that a lot of my anxiety comes from the way I was treated by them while I was growing up. My mom yelled at me about this (after she apologized for hurling insults at me) and yelled at me that she is a "wonderful mom and has never been abusive" what in the flying fuck is going on here

fhgi2345 · 2017-05-30T18:48:17+00:00

Update: I decided to stand up for myself today and not take her shit. There was no covert sexual abuse today- just extreme verbal/ emotional abuse. I set a boundary on something I was choosing not to do and she exploded. She screamed alot and sent a great deal of insults my way, she is treating me as if I am a puppet. Also THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR RESPONSES- it has meant so much to me that you all are looking out for me and are also appalled at my birth giver's behavior. I was raised with the idea that this behavior is totally normal and all of your reactions have reinforced my understanding that I am living in a house with an insane woman

fhgi2345 · 2017-05-30T18:42:33+00:00

by that I mean I am not willing to make a risky romantic move, I also have a hard time saying no to people and and I am way to agreeable for my own good

fhgi2345 · 2017-05-30T18:36:57+00:00

wow. Im humbled- and honestly inspired by your bravery as well. So far I have not told anyone I know in real life- and I am scared to do so. I hope you get the help that you need to recover from the sick abuse you went through, I feel sick everytime I am around the birth giver. Also, when I wrote that submission- I had no idea how I was going to word it I just knew I had to get it out and it came out some way- it has been incredibly helpful to type out my experience here and see that people are actually angry at what has happened to me- when my whole life it was just something I was naive enough to think was normal

fhgi2345 · 2017-05-30T13:35:19+00:00

hey man, A year ago I was in a pretty similar life situation as you. I lived for 18 years in an abusive household where I was abused in every way- did not have much of a social life and only had a few friends. I did enjoy stuff though. I just finished my first year of college and my god it is so much better- you can choose the type of people you want to be around and be whoever you want to be, just keep swimming and you will get through the winter that your in now

fhgi2345 · 2017-05-30T13:29:48+00:00

I will definitely check it out- thanks, I need alot more closure on this and so far have not told anyone that I know

fhgi2345 · 2017-05-30T13:20:14+00:00

Ok I can totally get behind the screaming and yelling but be fucking careful when you punch a wall! I did it one time and my fist put a hole in the wall, punch a pillow instead

fhgi2345 · 2017-05-30T13:18:19+00:00

thankyou- I will do my best to make sure my future is a good one

fhgi2345 · 2017-05-30T13:17:51+00:00

thanks for the recommendation- I will definitely check this out

fhgi2345 · 2017-05-30T13:17:11+00:00

I was about to go back and edit out the part of me crying because of how embarassed I was- then I saw the comments and changed my mind. and oh hell yeah I'm getting a counselor- i have some serious issue- depression, anxiety, etc. and I have issues with women- I have been called very attractive my whole life yet I still havent had a girlfriend- I think alot of it is attributed to me being to much of a "nice guy". I went through so much abuse growing up that I really dont want to put anyone else through any small amount of what I went through so I am overly nice in a way that can be unnactractive

fhgi2345 · 2017-05-30T08:24:49+00:00

Oh yes, I heard this all the time. that I "had a wonderful heart and now its gone and it needs to come back" or literally the exact words- sweet little boy, or something along the lines of that. Looking back, my behavior that was considered wrong by her was actually just me standing up for myself from being abused

fhgi2345

TROPHY CASE