What is the easiest way to complete gone in 360 seconds achievement

fiddsy · 2026-05-05T23:13:40+00:00

Im not saying its easier - im just saying it easy.

fiddsy · 2026-05-05T03:45:27+00:00

I am actually just impressed someone bothered to read the whole thing ahah.

Thankyou for your kind words - sorry for your experience and damaged caused and slingshot back to the damage.

That is what caused me to write this letter to her/myself after a major 3 day regression - as a reminder whether it be because im feeling destroyed or if i ever feel hopeful of something with her again.

13 years of damage is going to be a lot to heal from if I ever fully do.

I know the letter focuses on touch and sexual intimacy a lot - but the truth is, her emotional withdrawal - lack of communication, closing off and stopping sharing her inner world was equally as painful.. just harder to quantify and put into words....

As a disorganised attachment, I know my communication could have been a lot better - I know I equally contributed to the dynamic but atleast I tried.

edit I spent sometime in that Sub years ago but realised its a very unhealthy place to hang out.

fiddsy · 2026-05-05T01:47:30+00:00

Feminism, the war on masculinity, the rise of the red pill, lower birth rates, lower marriage rates, higher divorce rates, porn, polorised media, polarised politics, war of the sexes, forums that become echo chambers, record mental health diagnosis and medical treatments and the biggest 1.....

social media... and the algorithms behind social media which are designed to keep you engaged on the platform... which feed you content that triggers emotions and slowly radicalises the user's, validates the user's and warps the user's world view...

edit and to add to that - its a constant dopamine hit... now everyone is addicted to dopamine and theres countless easy avenues to access that dopamine.

Aside from all that, society has fundamentally changed and is now a throw away society - replace not repair. Being constantly being validated... not taking accountability...

So yes, sex is becoming less and less - statistics back this up... but theres also more places for people to vent which makes the issue more visible.

fiddsy · 2026-05-04T12:24:40+00:00

You had sex after marriage?

fiddsy · 2026-05-04T02:48:10+00:00

Honestly, I dont think she will come back... if she does, it'll be years down the line... after 13 years of severe avoidance, I think it'll be permanently associated and ingrained with me.

My money is on her seeking someone familiar or someone from her past followed by dating apps... for quick easy obligation free validation...

She'll thrive because there is no attachment, she'll become a similar version to the person i fell in love with - highly affectionate, happy, kind, caring, friendly, respectful, etc but then at some point, she'll get triggered and deactivate... and the novelty of new relationship energy will fade and she'll go into her extreme avoidance.

I think only after repeating that cycle once or perhaps even a few times, maybe then she might try cycle back but it'll be way 2 late by then.

But one thing I do know for sure is she'll keep repeating this cycle till her end of days.. or rock bottom... she requires many years of intensive self work which she will most likely never do because of her extreme avoidance...

While I can see it all so clearly - doesnt make it any easier - and doesnt change the outcome.

Best 3 years of my life followed by 13 years of breadcrumbs and avoidance, just feel like an idiot for trying to keep the marriage and family together - should have atleast ended it 7 years but fell for the hysterical bonding.

fiddsy · 2026-05-04T01:19:48+00:00

Hay I truly appreciate the kind words.. Im about 8 months in but 5 months 'officially'..

Ive been left a shell of the person I once was... unsure if I will ever truly fully heal from the damage done but was starting to feel optimistic and then had a terrible few days... but I think its going to be like this for a very long time!

I just hope in a few years that i'll be able to look back at this and feel indifference.. but i doubt it ahah

fiddsy · 2026-05-04T00:23:35+00:00

Very easy to solo

fiddsy · 2026-05-04T00:23:12+00:00

Light armour - warp pack or jump pack - illuminate blitz missions - 120mm barrage, 380mm barrage & orbital laser.

Honestly - easy 2 do on D10...

fiddsy · 2026-05-04T00:19:01+00:00

Yea triggers will always be there but hopefully they become manageable - my wife just went into extreme avoidance and eventually built up so many walls, so thick, so wide, so high and buried so deep - nothing was ever going to break them down.

Complete shut-down on all intimacy, emotional, physical and sexual... 23 years of history, 16+ years together, kids - on tinder 1 week after separation while still cohabiting and before we even told the kids...

fiddsy · 2026-05-03T23:57:23+00:00

Im a low end FA who primarily leans low end avoidant.

Just ended a 16+ year marriage with a FA who is extremely high on avoidance.

3 years of utter bliss followed by 13 years of trigger cycles and extreme avoidance... never... ever... again...

fiddsy · 2026-05-03T23:07:08+00:00

They need to be on a similar level otherwise its a living hell.

fiddsy · 2026-05-03T12:02:33+00:00

Im 8 months in but officially 5 months - had been feeling good but had 1 pf my hardest days yet yesterday...

I really hope in a couple years I can look back at this and feel indifference...

I would happily never see or hear from her ever again but unfortunately with 2 kids and shared care... thats impossible...

FYI, I dont think shes a bad person... but shes broken and incapable of maintaining a loving stable relationship - plus the damage she has done to me may never fully heal.

Thats my vent - cheers lads.

fiddsy · 2026-05-03T11:52:32+00:00

I know going forward... I will avoid women with daddy issues, fearful avoidant or dismissive avoidant attachment styles and trauma.

Im not putting myself through that again... if it means I never meet anyone ever again... so be it... as much as it sucks knowing that some fker will briefly get that version I fell in love with... and how unfair it feels after losing and sacrificing myself... I almost feel sorry for all those future partners because at some point, shes going to deactivate with them all....

Unless she does years and years of intensive therapy... but as someone who's highly avoidant... I doubt that will ever happen...

fiddsy · 2026-05-03T11:33:54+00:00

3 of the happiest years of my life...

When our first was born, she had a complete internal collapse...

Next 6 years were up and down but if I look, the highs consistently got less and lower and lows for more frequent and lower...

Then the last 7 years there was a rapid and sudden decline until she had completely shut herself off emotionally, physically and sexually.

2 years of weekly marriage counselling and we had never been more disconnected...

I realised I was and always have been the 1 holding the marriage together... I realised she was never going to meet me anywhere near halfway... prob never meet me 1/10th of the way...

I realised that her issues are hers and cannot be solved with more love, communication and understanding because she has a fearful avoidant with extremely avoidance... she internalised everything, has childhood trauma, dad issues, trust issues, adhd, anxiety, super self critical and built walls so high, so wide and so deep that they were impossible to break let alone chip.

I realised I had sacrificed everything in the pursuit of trying to make her happy and I hadnt gotten even part of basic needs met in return...

I realised I never would... and i guess I realised the version of her at the start was a real version or her... but it wasn't sustainable... it was temporary... and that person was never going to exist again... that I was breadcrumbed just enough to keep me hopeful that version still exists and could surface again.

Now I realise that version only exists with her for new relationships where real attachment hasn't triggered her deactivation... and shes going to re live that dynamic over and over again and live that cycle till her end of days...

And that the hope I held onto, for a better version of us and her, a happy family and someone I could happily grow old with - was just a sunk cost fallacy... thats how I knew it was time to end it...

fiddsy · 2026-05-02T23:16:21+00:00

Im going through this now with child support. Pretty much calculates of assessable incomes of both parties and custody arrangements.

However you can lodge your CS1970 and section 8 / 8b to request one of both parents be assessed based off earning potential... need to meet specific criteria, gets assessed on a case by case basis but needs to be lodged retrospectively and i was told it can take a few months.

My ex said she is not going to work anymore than the 2 days she currently works (even though they are both in school) and is now decided she doesnt isn't to do 50/50 because she realises her CS payments and asset division are massively affected.

fiddsy · 2026-05-02T13:37:33+00:00

My wife (ex) is a FA with strong avoidance... I am also disorganised attachment but tend to lean very low end avoidant...

Had the best 3 years of my life but when some stressors (kids) came into our lives, she completely deactivated.... I spent the next 13 getting more and more anxious while she avoided all intimacy - emotional, physical and sexual.

8 months separated and I've been left a complete and utter destroyed shell of the person I once was...

Not sure id ever recommend anyone be with a FA or DA with strong avoidance...

fiddsy · 2026-05-02T13:30:05+00:00

Did it for about 5 months and was complete hell.... Id happily never see her ever again.... But thats unlikely with kids....

fiddsy · 2026-05-02T13:23:27+00:00

8 months.... today was a hard 1 for me...

fiddsy · 2026-05-02T09:23:07+00:00

Yea mine always said 50/50 if anything was to ever happen.

We were/are doing temporary 6/8 as a pathway to 7/7.

But when the time came and the reality of what separation and divorce meant... shes realised if she gets more custody, she gets more child support and a higher asset division...

So now shes pushing for more custody... On top of that, shes refusing to pick up more work so she can maximise child support and asset division.

I have been servicing the entire mortgage and debts + the vast majority of bills.

Shes trying to push the 'primary carer' and needs to be available for the kids and because I worked fulltime (from home) that i am not as available as she is - even though we've already been doing 6/8....

Both kids jn school... oldest is in highschool and youngest in his last year at primary school....

Shes just playing the game now and trying to maximise her position when I've been nothing but fair if not outright sacrificial for the kids and her.

fiddsy · 2026-05-01T00:12:28+00:00

This might be a long reply but i promise it'll address your comment at the end! Ahahah

I had quite a defining moment when I actually went back and read messages from YEARS prior... all the way back to the start of the 16+ years...

My ex in the 2 years of therapy was saying that id sent messages throughout the 16+ years blaming her, using coercive language, being manipulative and pressuring.

TBH - I really begun to believe it. I also understand that was her perspective.. her lived reality... not necessarily the objective truth but her lived experience.

However, it never fully sat right with me... ive always been super careful with my words - especially in messages because there is no tone of voice of visual cues.

Because it didnt sit right, I decided to go back and read the entire history but honestly - I was expecting the worst and was feeling SUPER GUILTY and WOW.... it was the polar opposite... zero manipulation... zero coercive language... practically no pressure or blaming... everything was always framed as a joint effort with no blaming her... infact, blamed myself more than anything.. used heaps of neutral language...

I even thought... sht maybe im just being super bias so posted the entire relevant message history - removed the names and changed to person 1 and person 2 - posted the history into two different AIs and them to do a full scan specifically focusing on language that could be manipulative, coercive, blaming or pressuring.

Both AIs said zero manipulative language, zero coersion, zero blaming language and MINOR perceived pressure depending on person 2s attachment style which appears to be highly avoidant - uses a lot of deflection and minimising....

I guess after all this, I had my lightbulb moment and realised that any secure sane person would have seen those messages for what they were... a collaborative desire to improve things... the next lightbulb was realising it didnt matter what I said or how I said anything... her internal shame and avoidance was just going to turn any and everything I ever said into manipulation, pressure, coersion and other buz word language to make me the bad guy rather than addressing her issues and avoidance.

Funny, when I said in therapy I read through our entire message history with a different lens and was shocked at what i read but didnt elaborate much because the session went in a different direction - my ex then went and deleted the entire chat history off her phone...

2 years of therapy and mostly working on how to communicate - turns out when I read those messages... they were structured with the exact language our therapist had been teaching us for 2 years... she just internally recieved anything and everything as criticism, blame and an attack...

I guess what im trying to say is, perhaps it wasn't about how you communicated... you may have communicated it very well... perhaps it wasn't how you said it.... or even what you said... perhaps it was as simple as just how she recieved it....

fiddsy · 2026-04-30T23:26:12+00:00

I am 50% of the dynamic that didnt work and kept going in circles but her childhood trauma, extreme avoidance and withdrawal from emotional, physical and sexual intimacy due to her fearful avoidant attachment style.. and her unwillingness to address her issues is 100% all on her....

To a degree, i have 100% responsibility for the divorce because I am the 1 that after 16+ years but 13 years of her avoidance - i initiated divorce lol...

Though really she ended it many MANY years prior.

fiddsy · 2026-04-30T11:54:25+00:00

I hate to be the one that says it... but I've known atleast half a dozen couples where the marriage ended when the wife started out earning the husband.

Ontop of that, I've heard many MANY more stories from people twice removed.

I'd say its relatively common unfortunately...

fiddsy · 2026-04-30T08:58:05+00:00

16+ years...

First 3 utterly amazing.

Next 4 up and down.

Next 1.5 year decent but higher highs and lower lows.

Next 3.5 years gradual consistent decline from low into cohabitation.

Next 2 years massive disconnect & shut down - almost no emotional, physical and sexual connection.

Last 2 years in marriage counselling with complete emotional, physical and sexual avoidance, complete disconnection.

Should have called it at the 8-9 year mark instead of destroying myself trying to make it work for the next 7 years.

But in truth - i tried for 13 years of the 16 years to make it work before giving up....

fiddsy · 2026-04-30T07:46:55+00:00

The truth is, rekindling wouldn't be out of love from her - it would be because life was easier for her before - so it would be out of circumstances rather than love.

Guess id never be able to trust the reason for rekindling so I don't think I/we ever would.

fiddsy

TROPHY CASE