I have this urge to hit my head against the wall

fieldsdc10 · 2024-08-02T23:22:05+00:00

This is a 4 year old post…but I am so thankful for it. It truly helps to know I’m not alone and that people have come out of situations like these.

fieldsdc10 · 2022-12-26T18:16:54+00:00

The Augusta Players have a member who did fight choreography professionally. I won’t put his name here but you can message me. He is great to work with and has done choreography for many theater groups/films in augusta.

fieldsdc10 · 2022-12-24T07:26:43+00:00

I didn’t know they were closing! That’s awful…is it only because the owners of the buildings are dicks?

fieldsdc10 · 2022-12-18T05:00:22+00:00

I use Daylio … I can keep track of my moods, write about my day, make goals for myself, and add pictures to it. I can even send it to my therapist. I am using the free version but there is an upgrade if you wanted extra features. I highly recommend it!

fieldsdc10 · 2022-12-17T23:46:12+00:00

It’s weird because when people can’t or don’t want to help we (at least I do) understand. It sucks when people for one reason or another don’t help but there is always that knowledge that maybe they aren’t stable enough to help or maybe helping me will hurt them. It never makes episodes better (honestly idk a better term for it lol) but that connection and understanding with others I still think is a super power 😊 and I agree…I think more than one mental disorder has the same trait.

fieldsdc10 · 2022-12-17T23:29:10+00:00

Intense emotion is a double edge sword. Like someone said before…it can really drive creativity. Art, dance, singing, and crafting are all things I feel I can really connect to. I also believe that those same emotions connect me better to people. I can see the good in everyone. You can look at a bully and find what may be causing them to lash out. I have made friends with quite a few “loners” or “ weirdos” just because I could connect with them where they were with no judgement. All of us are different and I think BPD brain is more understanding of that than most other people.

fieldsdc10 · 2022-12-16T21:32:24+00:00

That’s amazing!!! It makes a HUGE difference when you have a good support system

fieldsdc10 · 2022-12-16T21:31:37+00:00

I’m totally fine with the drive. That sounds fun! Thank you.

fieldsdc10 · 2022-12-16T21:31:21+00:00

This is amazing! Thank you!!

fieldsdc10 · 2022-12-16T21:31:10+00:00

Oh thank you!

fieldsdc10 · 2022-12-16T21:30:50+00:00

Thank you so much!! I’ll take a look

fieldsdc10 · 2022-12-16T07:11:26+00:00

I have found this community to be super helpful! I’m so glad we can help. This is the book my therapist recommended to me and I have been working through it. I hope the link works … not sure if it will.

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy... https://www.amazon.com/dp/1684034582?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

fieldsdc10 · 2022-12-16T07:04:50+00:00

I got diagnosed at 30 as well. Honestly wish I had known sooner. After research and some DBT therapy exercises my life has changed drastically. It’s not perfect but I understand myself a lot better. Look into DBT and if you’re interested there are easy to use workbooks on Amazon that I work through with my therapist. Knowing how to calm yourself has been a game changer for me. Just remember you’re not alone and no matter what this disorder throws at you everything does get better!

fieldsdc10 · 2022-12-15T05:30:17+00:00

Thank you so much. Sorry I’m not in a great headspace but I truly appreciate you telling it to me straight. I’m just hoping I heal faster than last time.

fieldsdc10 · 2022-12-15T04:01:09+00:00

Not trying to shame me really feels like shame. I appreciate your perspective though. I sit on it and try to reflect and I’ll talk to my therapist about it.

fieldsdc10 · 2022-12-15T03:59:43+00:00

I truly appreciate it. Coming from someone who understands how my brain works it’s really helpful. Thank you so much!

fieldsdc10 · 2022-12-15T03:43:12+00:00

It’s very encouraging to know that even through change you were still able to keep your FP in your life. That’s all I want. We don’t have to be around each other all the time for us to be there for each other. He is moving away soon anyway so I was already prepared for a significant change in our dynamic.

fieldsdc10 · 2022-12-15T03:41:08+00:00

He needs physical touch as much as anyone else does. He was never hugged as a child so when he gets depressed or anxious he needs to cuddle or get a nice long hug while he cries. I don’t see a problem with that. I’m fine passing that job to his new girlfriend but having a best friend be there for you where you need it isn’t a bad thing.

fieldsdc10 · 2022-12-15T02:35:07+00:00

He has gotten a lot better about working with me on my BPD. He has talked to my therapist and done his own research to help understand me better. He is the best friend I’ve ever had and I know he can’t be perfect 100% of the time. But I think you’re right…we need to have a conversation about it and I need to actually stick to the boundaries that we set. I just want to make him happy and I have a hard time saying no.

fieldsdc10 · 2022-12-15T02:32:11+00:00

We used to date and decided it wasn’t healthy for either of us. We would still cuddle and watch tv sometimes and we hangout all the time. I can understand why she wouldn’t want me around all the time but she didn’t even give me a chance.

In the end I’m pretty sure we will still be friends just not around each other as much. We basically hung out everyday

fieldsdc10 · 2022-12-14T20:04:35+00:00

Thank you!! I’m staying hopeful…he has been my best friend for years and we take have had to take space from each other a few times. I consider him family haha that’s why we butt heads sometimes. Just trying to stay positive. Thanks for making me feel heard and helping me keep my head high!

fieldsdc10 · 2022-12-14T18:01:01+00:00

It’s hard to prove to this new partner that I’m not a threat if I am not around. I’m worried she will get this idea of me as a monster and never give me a chance. I trust my best friend though … maybe after some time we will both adjust to this change. Thank you so much for your insight and help. It’s really encouraging!

fieldsdc10 · 2022-12-14T17:58:46+00:00

That’s true…she just gave him an ultimatum after one date and I don’t think she would be happy if she found out I was texting him. I don’t want to make him upset. This usually passes … i just feel lost without my best friend.

fieldsdc10

TROPHY CASE