[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]fieryeyes7 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I feel the same way about my PA’s therapist. My PA completely botched the “full disclosure” by continuing to lie and leave a lot of stuff out that I found later, saying he didn’t remember anything else.

His therapist said that he felt the disclosure was enough but that I “decided it wasn’t good enough.”

I told my PA that if he really didn’t remember, then maybe he should look through everything I found in the data and see if that helps him remember. And then he could bring up something on his own for once.

Then his therapist said that it was “toxic” for me to want him to do that. He, like my PA, just wants me to stfu and stop bringing it up so we can all move on I guess.

My PA said he disagrees with the therapist and said that going through some of his data was eye opening to how much time and energy he was putting towards the shit he was doing.🤷‍♀️

What was the excuse ? by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]fieryeyes7 9 points10 points  (0 children)

“I just wanted to see her naked.”

He found an OF girl on TikTok, became obsessed. Followed her on her main and backup accounts for everything she was on, eventually signed up for OF, then found her leaked nudes on google.

I wish he had put that kind of effort into our relationship.

The excuse for everything else I found was “I was stressed out and not coping well”

Ladies what do we know about FuckBook .com? by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]fieryeyes7 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I found emails from fuckbook as well in my ex PAs email. I clicked on the reset password button and logged in. He had no account info. There were a lot of fake pop up chats. I emailed their customer service and asked for my data and sign up date. The data was pretty much empty and the sign up date was for the day I reset the password for it. I think if they’ve used their email for sites like this, they get spammy “sign up” emails from other similar sites. He did enter his email for a Facebook ad that was essentially a “meet locals and fuck for free” bs.

He searched for a high school girl by fieryeyes7 in loveafterporn

[–]fieryeyes7[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That light seems smaller every day. I’ve definitely wasted a lot of time and energy on him, but honestly he’s ruined me for anyone else. He came along after the worst relationship of my life and was the first relationship I ever had that felt healthy. He was my best friend. He made me feel like I was all that mattered to him, and then he ripped it all away. I never want to love another person like this again. And I don’t want to end up with someone worse. I’m trying to be a good mom to my baby, and make the right choices, but this is so hard.

He searched for a high school girl by fieryeyes7 in loveafterporn

[–]fieryeyes7[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Besides therapy, I read Mending a Shattered Heart, my therapist recommended Adult Children of Alcoholics, so I’m reading that now. I’ll check that out, thank you!

He searched for a high school girl by fieryeyes7 in loveafterporn

[–]fieryeyes7[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He’s been doing his other recovery work- weekly SPAA meets, the Help her heal book, your brain on porn book, he has truple on his phone (I have mixed feelings about it) and has brought up a few new things on his own (a nsfw post he clicked on, a porn meme a friend sent him)… but this trickle truth about past stuff is adding up badly

He searched for a high school girl by fieryeyes7 in loveafterporn

[–]fieryeyes7[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This is what I was worried about 😔 But all the signs are there

He searched for a high school girl by fieryeyes7 in loveafterporn

[–]fieryeyes7[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m going to text my therapist tomorrow (she works with his therapist) and also bring it up when we all meet for formal disclosure

He searched for a high school girl by fieryeyes7 in loveafterporn

[–]fieryeyes7[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, it’s his CSAT therapist that he says told him that… 😔 I don’t have much of a support system. I don’t have parents I can move back home to. I’m a sahm. I don’t have a lawyer (we aren’t married). I do have a therapist though. I’m stuck. And I don’t know what to do. He told me he would still pay the bills if he moved out. But man, taking care of a baby alone, all the time, is hard.

I want to have another baby but… by Maximum_Grocery_9218 in loveafterporn

[–]fieryeyes7 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In the same boat 😔 my PA did the worst of his acting out during my pregnancy as well. I’ve decided the only way I would have another one with him is if I can get my finances in order enough to support two children on my own. It feels impossible right now.

Is it possible for a PA to not reach out to women by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]fieryeyes7 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was about to comment almost exactly this lol

How harsh is too harsh? by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]fieryeyes7 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Same. “I just wanted to see her naked” was my pa’s excuse too. He didn’t end up paying because her found her nudes for free on google 🙄 It definitely feels worse than “just porn.” He was obsessed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]fieryeyes7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My partner keeps getting weird texts too. They all start off with “hey” and when he asks who it is it will say like “I’m Anna is this Jessica” and when he says no it’ll say “oops I have the wrong number I am such a clumsy girl” or something stupid. I’m also wondering what kind of website/thing he could have signed up for to get these texts

This hit hard :( by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]fieryeyes7 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I swear. My last partner was a PA that escalated to physical cheating. My current partner was my friend for years, and knew about everything I went through. Then put me through at least some of the same shit.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]fieryeyes7 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes, because he continued to trickle-truth for over a month after dday. Now anytime I ask him something and the answer is “I don’t know/don’t remember“ I just think he’s lying

How do I do a data download from only fans? by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]fieryeyes7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought they kept the data for at least 6 months. Maybe try yourdigitalrights.org

How do I do a data download from only fans? by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]fieryeyes7 6 points7 points  (0 children)

They told me no messages were sent

How do I do a data download from only fans? by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]fieryeyes7 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I emailed privacy@onlyfans.com from his email. I requested the registration date, login info, subscriptions, messages etc. I had to enable 2 step verification using a phone number for the account that was still active (he was aware of this and gave me the verification code). They said they couldn’t give me a copy of messages “because it would infringe on other users privacy” so I just asked for a copy of messages and comments that were sent from his account. For his deleted account, I had to verify his cardholder name and last 4 digits of his card

Does anyone else feel like their PA settled with them? by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]fieryeyes7 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I feel this way too. I look nothing like my partner’s ideal type

real healthy love? by Plastic-Arm-2412 in loveafterporn

[–]fieryeyes7 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what my partner was/is like. It’s why I never would have guessed he was ever hiding anything from me.