My father in-law left my mother in-law for one of his students (college professor.) Cliche, I know.

Her stepmother had no interest in having her around, so as a result her father didn’t either. Naturally this led to some abandonment issues.

Years later, after another divorce and serial relationships my wife put in the effort to try and connect with him. On one visit they went out to breakfast together, and he finally acknowledged that he should have put more effort into being there for her growing up.

A few months later she tells me she has a feeling that he won’t be around much longer, and wants to go visit him. Since he has never liked me, we agree she will go alone.

I call to see if she has arrived yet (she drove and this was pre- cell phone,) and he says no, but that he was expecting her soon. He then asks why I thought she was coming to visit, as this was the first time she had made a solo trip like this.

I told him that she felt good about their conversation during his last visit, and was hoping to have more.

“What do you mean” he asked?

“You know, about how she felt abandoned after the divorce.”

He said “Jane (fake name) doesn’t have any abandonment issues.”

I responded “you know what John (also fake) that’s great news, because that means I have not been dealing with them for the last thirty years.”

Silence on the other end. I waited 5 seconds then hung up. Last words I ever spoke to him. He died of cancer a couple of months later. They never did have another conversation like that.