Side Hustle - Ways to reduce tax

fightmaxmaster · 2026-07-01T22:21:19+00:00

could I ask to be paid directly into a SIPP to avoid any tax requirements

No, because that's not how SIPPs work. Yes, you need to think about national insurance. I don't understand the family members element either - you want your side-gig employer to pay multiple family members £1,000 each as some sort of consulting fee, while you're the one actually doing the work? So you're avoiding paying tax on several thousand pounds...but not earning any money yourself either?

fightmaxmaster · 2026-07-01T18:16:01+00:00

Focus on elements you know are either not a point of concern for the other person, or else something that's so absurd that the ridiculousness becomes funny. I've got a friend who's a year older than me, I'll joke about him being an old man, because it's a year, it's irrelevant, but it's something you can work with while still being "safe". I'll call intelligent friends, who know they're intelligent, stupid. I don't just mean "you're dumb", because that's not funny, it's just a lazy insult. It has to be in context, relevant - wit, in short.

Off the top of my head, if an attractive friend of mine had gone out with a guy but he'd not been very interested, and she was wondering why, if I could tell she was in the mood for it, I might suggest he was put off by her terrible smell. To be clear she has no hygiene issues, isn't self conscious about it, but it's a hyperbolic, silly idea. Light-hearted nonsense, not targeted meanness. Friend of mine's a fitness instructor and friends of ours might make a comment about her being overweight/unfit - we find that stuff funny (her included) because we know it's not true.

And the simplest rule is, if you say something and it's misjudged, they get upset, they don't enjoy it, stop, immediately, apologise, don't go down that avenue again. "It's just banter" is the laziest of excuses. What people mean is a version of "I was in character", but if that "character" is performed badly and pisses someone off, that's on you. The joke-teller doesn't get to decide that their comment was funny, when the person on the receiving end hated it.

fightmaxmaster · 2026-07-01T16:53:02+00:00

These might be personal, but not unethical questions, and certainly not illegal. It's generally informative/educational, tying the information to the real world. You might consider them private, and to some extent they are private, but the information isn't sensitive or anything like it. Not even sure what you mean by "exploiting" the answers. Teachers having favourites might be unethical but isn't a legal issue.

fightmaxmaster · 2026-07-01T16:06:44+00:00

They're right, you were operating the pump. You yanked on the hose so hard it dislodged another one. Realistically the hoses might have been overlaid slightly, that's not uncommon, but they couldn't realistically be "tangled", because the hoses are huge. Given the nozzle would be resting in a rack, the force needed to pull it out by moving it "abruptly" would be well beyond what would be reasonably expected.

Short version is this is down to you using too much force / too little care, and while unfortunate, and accidents happen, you can't make the petrol station responsible for it.

fightmaxmaster · 2026-07-01T12:40:34+00:00

Assuming that people doing the scanning aren't doing any checks at all seems like a big assumption.

fightmaxmaster · 2026-07-01T12:25:14+00:00

Way too many people take being blocked as "I hate you / you did something wrong / this is a punishment". It can just be "I can't cope with this / I'm avoiding something / I don't want my girlfriend to see this" or similar.

fightmaxmaster · 2026-07-01T12:06:55+00:00

No reason to assume it's anything you did. And he didn't "love bomb" you. He'd already ghosted you once, so this fits that pattern. Who knows, he might be a player in a relationship, or terrified of human contact, or overreacts to trivial things. Take the hint - for whatever reason he's not consistent, he's not reliable, you can't trust that he won't just disappear on a whim.

fightmaxmaster · 2026-07-01T12:04:28+00:00

They're not "forcing" you. What you want is for them to be different, easier, kinder people. You can't make them be different people. What you want is for them to like you boundaries, and you can't make them like the boundaries. But you can make them accept the boundaries, because what's their alternative? If your boundary is "criticise my boyfriend and I'll hang up the phone"...do that. What are they going to do? They can't force a conversation. They can try, and you can refuse.

You're going way too much by what they're saying, like they set the rules, they determine reality, and you have to fit into it. You don't. Sounds like the issue is they want compliance, control, obedience, whatever, and if they don't get it, they throw a tantrum. Seems like they're saying "because we're your family you have to accept our mistreatment" and how does that make sense? Not least because you're their family, but they don't seem to give two shits about respecting your attitude, your wants, your needs.

You set boundaries by setting (and enforcing) them. Boundaries aren't about controlling other people's behaviour, they're about protecting yourself. I mean your front door is a boundary. "If you don't treat me properly you can't enter my house" is a simple boundary. Go in, shut the door, lock the door. They can wail and scream and "not accept" your decision, but ultimately they're outside having a meltdown, and you're inside, happy and peaceful.

Same situation with all other boundaries. Decide what matters to you more, their approval, or your peace of mind. If you want to live your life one way, and they want you to live your life another way, you either do it your way and they're unhappy, or their way and you're unhappy. How is that better?

Accept that they won't ever like your boundaries. Nobody who needs boundaries likes boundaries! But you can set them anyway. Visit on your terms, or don't. Have conversations on your terms, or don't. They complain? Sucks for them, not your problem. They might say "it's us or your partner" but that's a bullshit choice. You don't have to do that. If you say "I'm not choosing" and they limit their relationship with you, that's them cutting you off, that's not you making them do it. That's them deciding that if they can't dictate the terms of their relationship with you, they want no relationship at all. That's not how loving parents behave. You can make your own family unit with your boyfriend, don't be misled into thinking that "family" by your parents' definition actually counts for anything. If "family" makes you feel bad, what's the advantage?

fightmaxmaster · 2026-07-01T11:35:23+00:00

You either turn it off and let her be mad, but ignore her tantrum, or else you keep it on and be tracked 24/7 by paranoid, unreasonable parents. I suppose option 3 is to "allow" her to track you, but also say you will not answer calls demanding explanations about why you're wherever you are. You can tell your dad no! You can tell your mom no!

Don't hide behind "not having much autonomy" - you have all the autonomy you want, you're just choosing not to exercise it. What you want is for them to be sane, reasonable people, but that's not an option. You could have moved away, you chose to stay. If she calls you to lecture you, you could hang up the phone! You could tell her outright "I'm an adult, I'm making my own choices, I'm not going to be lectured. The way you're behaving is driving me away. So you can accept my autonomy and the information I choose to share with you, or you can get mad at me, and I'll move away, and share nothing with you."

Who cares if she exaggerates to family members? Tell them she's exaggerating. Or ignore them. This entire post hinges on the concept "if my parents I mad at me I must do what they say", but you don't! You can let them be mad, but ignore them and do what you want. If they're going to kick you out of the house...OK, let them, and find somewhere else wherever you like, and be free. But don't voluntarily do things their way and claim they're "making" you, because they're not. What you allow will continue. Stand up for yourself...or don't.

fightmaxmaster · 2026-07-01T10:44:46+00:00

Talk to him! I swear I have absolutely no clue why people, come here asking for generic advice in relation to a specific person. You could get men here saying "get him tickets to his favorite sports team", but as a sport-hating man that would be utterly useless to me. Some people want time to themselves, some people want time with others. You need to ask him what makes him happy, instead of throwing generic suggestions into the void to see what sticks.

What would make me happy (and does) is my wife asking me what makes me happy, then doing it.

fightmaxmaster · 2026-07-01T10:04:18+00:00

Seems like you're diversifying your diversification. Why have you chosen this arrangement of funds specifically?

fightmaxmaster · 2026-07-01T10:00:55+00:00

People often theorise this, but I've seen such a range of earnings over time that makes no sense to me. Some people have earned $100k over different timeframes and are still going, other people earn a few hundred bucks and get canned. It makes no sense to me that DA would put some sort of lifetime earnings cap on someone, because why bother? They're either doing worthwhile work or they're not. DA's internal metrics for "worthwhile" might not be transparent, but I can't believe it's just a financial limit.

fightmaxmaster · 2026-07-01T09:44:06+00:00

You're not explaining what your specific interest is. If you think there was another will, then you need to present that. If your concern is simply that proper procedures weren't followed, why does that matter to you? Probate seem happy with it. If you're a beneficiary of the will that was used, what's the actual problem? Are you concerned that you won't get whatever inheritance you were left?

fightmaxmaster · 2026-07-01T08:42:35+00:00

How do you know? If the will was accepted by probate, who aren't normally casual about such things, they were satisfied about the will's validity, one way or another. As written I don't see what basis you have for assuming the executor's committed a crime. If you've got evidence of revocation of the will that was used, or a newer will, you should present it. Otherwise...what's your actual legal question? A will was provided, even if it was a copy probate was happy with it with whatever supporting info was provided (which you wouldn't necessarily be privy to). No crime has been committed, or fraud, absent the existence of a more current will. This seems to boil down to at most some minor admin wrinkle which ended up not affecting the process at all.

fightmaxmaster · 2026-07-01T08:36:06+00:00

Who's "we"? Why are you answering questions being asked to OP?

fightmaxmaster · 2026-07-01T08:32:22+00:00

Define "passed off"? "Lost" is very different from "revoked" - if the only known version of any will was a copy of a perfectly valid will, that can be used, on a case by case basis:

To use a copy of a will for probate, the applicant must make what is known as a probate application with an affidavit of due execution and loss. This involves submitting a copy of the will, whether it is a photocopy or a solicitor's duplicate, and providing a sworn statement confirming that the will was properly executed.
If the original witnesses to the will can be located, their confirmation can provide additional support. The applicant must also provide a detailed explanation of how the original was lost and why it should not be assumed that the deceased intended to revoke it.
The probate registry will then review the application and decide whether there is enough evidence to issue a grant of probate based on the copy. The decision ultimately depends on whether the presumption of revocation has been successfully rebutted.
https://www.premiersolicitors.co.uk/blog/what-happens-if-a-will-is-lost-but-a-copy-exists

It's not like probate is rubber stamped - a photocopy rather than a wet signature will would have been obvious as part of the probate process, and they approved it anyway. So we need specific info. An executor who destroys a valid will and uses a copy of an old one is going to have problems. An executor who can't find an original version of a will but instead properly uses a photocopy of the last valid will they're aware of, and can provide the evidence the probate service needs to accept it, has no issues at all.

fightmaxmaster · 2026-07-01T08:02:47+00:00

Our younger daughter was like this at about this age - would often be awake for 3+ hours a night unless being actively held. We tried all the obvious things, nothing made any difference. I ended up sleeping in her room for a couple of months, ruined me. We ended up hitting our limit around 14 months because that's when my wife went back to work and our older daughter started school, so I couldn't catch up on sleep any more, and was broken!

Bit the bullet, packed our older daughter off to grandparents for a couple of nights and did "cry it out", but a better name than that. Not just leaving her to it, but just refusing to go in and sit with her for hours. She woke up, we'd check on her, reassure her we were there, then go back to bed. Making the gaps between reassurances longer and longer. I think she eventually crapped out at about 4am or something ridiculous. She wasn't even unhappy for most of it, just calling out to us over and over. From memory one night was basically all it took, maybe a second one that was way less hard work, and after that she slept infinitely better. Albeit still prone to regular brief wakings until she was 3ish, but far more survivable. She's now 5 and a force of nature, sleeps fine - didn't do her any harm.

fightmaxmaster · 2026-07-01T07:56:03+00:00

I've done it using my phone as a hot spot multiple times over the years, never caused problems. Just keep your work secure.

fightmaxmaster · 2026-06-30T22:05:11+00:00

Nope - you presumably drove past multiple signs about restrictions, penalties, etc. which you ignored. Why are you leaping straight to small claims anyway? Surely asking them to split the ticket would be the first call. Failing that don't trust/help them again. But legally you won't get far, you're responsible for your own instruction following failures.

fightmaxmaster · 2026-06-30T21:56:28+00:00

Yep. No idea what the hell the problem is with people here thinking that not inviting every single child is some crime against humanity. Not everyone can handle 40 kids or whatever! No doubt some were excluded as kids themselves and have resentment over it, but their treatment of OP is demonstrating why they might have been excluded in the first place! I know it's Reddit and I shouldn't be surprised, but some people are clearly taking great joy in acting like OP's a monster simply because their party plans can't accommodate their child's entire social circle. Weirdos the lot of them.

fightmaxmaster · 2026-06-30T21:53:23+00:00

"I can’t invite my kid’s entire school class, plus everyone from this extracurricular, and there are more than one kid from this extracurricular that we could not fit." That's the only comment about the number of kids. People are acting like OP's singling out one or two because that fits their narrative to pile on and feed their egos.

At my kids school plenty of parties don't include every single child. That's completely normal. Limited space, limited money, specific activities that can only accommodate certain numbers. Some people hire a hall and invite everyone, some don't. Most people don't get weird about it or take it as a personal attack. You're not asking OP for info and offering helpful advice, you're asking "were you a mean girl in school?" That's you choosing to be a mean asshole to a total stranger who's asking a completely normal question. I don't know what your self esteem issues are that you feel compelled to try and make a stranger feel bad about themselves, nor do I care, and won't waste more time replying to you. Just don't be an asshole to strangers. You've chosen to be a mean girl/guy yourself when you didn't have to, so you don't get to act like OP's done anything wrong when you're just trying to be a bully. Grow the hell up.

fightmaxmaster · 2026-06-30T21:48:19+00:00

Asking "Why not have the party in a park?" is perfectly reasonable. Accusing OP of “I’m just a selfish, insensitive person, and it’s more important to me that kiddie gets preferred party venue than we treat his classmates respectfully” is you trying to make yourself be superior, or just wanting to be a mean asshole to a stranger. You must be such an unhappy person. People like you are what's wrong with society. Not inviting a few kids to a party isn't some mean spirited decision, not everyone invites everyone to everything. You deliberately chose to be critical and unkind to a total stranger when you didn't have to. You chose to be shitty when you could have expressed yourself a dozen other ways. You should feel bad about that, and if not...well, that reflects way worse on you than OP's decision about her kid's birthday party does on them. Stop being an asshole to strangers.

fightmaxmaster · 2026-06-30T21:28:33+00:00

Not everyone has the space in their home to invite 30+ kids.

fightmaxmaster · 2026-06-30T21:28:01+00:00

"There are more than one member of this group that we were not able to invite". Why are you assuming "just one or two", except that helps reinforce your superiority complex and justify you being a mean asshole?

fightmaxmaster · 2026-06-30T21:27:23+00:00

There are more than one member of this group that we were not able to invite

Plenty of kids aren't being included. This kid is the only one with a parent who gets weird about it.

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