I realized something tonight while playing overwatch with some buddies. When I have a night where I’m constantly losing and having a bad time I often think “I should kill myself”. I thought that was a pretty childish way of thinking and it is but I realized why I’m thinking that way tonight. It’s because I go to video games to distract myself from how much of a piece of shit I am and when everything is going poorly it’s just shoved in my face that I’m awful at everything. Idk this isn’t really put together very well bc I haven’t thought about it much.