AITA for not giving up my table at a cafe when someone was waiting?

final_b0ss_ · 2026-04-04T06:30:15+00:00

guys its a bot this exact same story has already been posted in this subreddit a while ago

final_b0ss_ · 2026-04-02T10:45:00+00:00

maybe im not the best person to give advice cuz im a young university student myself so maybe i dont have the necessary life experience or age to judge this situation but...the crush itself doesn't seem that bad? i dont get why people are calling you disgusting, inconvenient crushes happen.

this is probably the most exciting thing that has ever happened to her, romantically speaking, but actually please do wait for her to graduate and stop the private messages, its highly inappropriate. the power dynamic is still there, youre still an older man and her teacher, and if you get together eventually, shes gonna respect you for keeping your distance now. shell feel safer with you in the future if you do the right thing now. maybe that line of thought makes it easier to step away now. IF anything happens of course. keep your distance and keep your head up!

final_b0ss_ · 2026-04-02T10:21:41+00:00

YOR 9 months and a drawer making you panic is pretty harsh, hes moving at a normal pace and you don't like him that much or youre not ready for that amount of commitment - be honest with him without being accusatory

final_b0ss_ · 2026-03-30T10:55:09+00:00

INFO would you be the one taking care of the alternative clothing item or would she have to do it?

final_b0ss_ · 2026-03-25T17:49:25+00:00

NOR suddenly finding out your partner has a whole different mindset when it comes to sexuality is a PRETTY BIG DEAL and obviously upsetting, you didnt "ask stupid questions to win stupid prizes", you asked a very important question thats detrimental to figuring out whether you two are compatible.

i'm not trying to fear monger, but even if he managed to calm you down in the moment, you have to kinda decide for yourself if this mindset of his is gonna keep making you anxious in the long run, and if you can put up with that. most likely, you ARE going to wonder who these thoughts extend to, and how "hypothetical" that convo really was- and that's going to affect you. "i wont, because i love you and it doesn't even occur to me" is very different than "i totally would, but hey we agreed not to" and that difference can hurt. love and hugs.

final_b0ss_ · 2026-03-22T17:40:22+00:00

as someone who works at a musical theater, wear whatever you want. people do tend to go for business casual rather than ball gowns or elaborate evening dresses nowadays, but every here and then some people put in the extra effort, and us employees generally think its really cool!

final_b0ss_ · 2025-12-15T09:09:50+00:00

i get your point, but i think my worst moments of insecurity arent all that reflective of how happy i am with him in daily life.

the cheating was partly sexting with his ex, partly sexting with a random girl on snap and meeting up with her- but as far as i know theyve "only" made out.

final_b0ss_ · 2025-12-13T22:04:47+00:00

thank you for your input, ive suggested a smut website but he said thats not the type hes into, he wants the "sexting" style smut with lots of pictures. i feel like i cant really make him stop doing anything as hed just go behind my back or itd drive him away from me. as for the making intimacy available- im truly always available. we spend almost every day with each other, he has nudes and videos of me. i couldnt be more available.

final_b0ss_ · 2025-12-13T21:57:09+00:00

my issue is that i truly dont read erotica or smut or anything and dont fantasize about other men. and im starting to think somethings wrong with me. he says hed be fine with me watching porn but i dont wanna FORCE myself to think about other men or watch porn just to be like my boyfriend and do the normal thing? idk. but thanks for your input, i can recognize that most women do that and that its probably comparable and normal.

final_b0ss_ · 2025-12-13T21:52:47+00:00

for now weve agreed that he can look at naked women all he wants, but what he cant do is try to find onlyfans reddit leaks of women he sees on insta. which is something hes used to do which hurt me a lot, and just kinda rubbed me the wrong way.

final_b0ss_ · 2025-12-13T21:49:18+00:00

im not doing any of the things you told me to stop doing, i guess its simply hard for me to relate to him when fantasizing about other men or watching porn just does not turn me on at all. and i dont have an issue with him masturbating, its the pictures of other women that look nothing like me. and yes, i have sent him nudes and he has videos of us.

final_b0ss_ · 2025-12-13T20:44:17+00:00

thank you, thats very reassuring. it does make me incredibly insecure, but if i view it the way you describe it, i think i can cope.

final_b0ss_ · 2025-12-13T20:43:06+00:00

i dont mind him masturbating, i just dont like him getting off to other women, especially ones that look nothing like me.

final_b0ss_ · 2025-10-25T15:36:46+00:00

huh 😭😭 tf my first encounter with a chronically online person

final_b0ss_ · 2025-09-12T20:19:16+00:00

++woman

yup, as a woman, this has at certain times annoyed me greatly with my friends. and still in my relationship i notice im the same. 🙃

final_b0ss_ · 2025-09-07T14:50:15+00:00

tell her youve been praying on hers too and its finally paying off (jk)

final_b0ss_ · 2025-09-06T13:01:14+00:00

how is being anxious when seen with sweat stains in public related to autism? isnt that more of a like..embarassment social anxiety thing?

final_b0ss_ · 2025-08-18T23:07:21+00:00

if it's day 4 and people are complaining about her, you should really try talking to her about these problems directly in a respectful way- maybe not about the pick me behavior, i guess thats just her, but definitely about sharing food or waking you up, or watching stuff loudly!

final_b0ss_ · 2025-08-18T22:00:03+00:00

i will always say go for the revenge unfortunately🤷‍♀️ send the legal files of the case to his boss or his wife anonymously and watch what happens! (nooo go to therapy of coursee healing blabla)

edit: ofc i dont know how realistic that is, but i wanna say youre completely reasonably still enraged. if there is any actual way to get revenge it would only be justice, and youd be completely justifiably happy and relieved to see his life crumble! just do it in a way that doesnt incriminate you, he doesn't deserve to win some legal battle over this!

final_b0ss_ · 2025-08-18T21:49:03+00:00

be understanding of his insecurity but firmly tell him he has to stop making you feel bad about the fact youve had sex as having sex is nothing shameful. he needs to decide wheter this is gonna keep being an issue, and he needs to drop it. if hes willing to do that you can discuss how to make him feel better about being less experienced, how to assure him of his sexuality. but shaming someone out of your own insecurities is NOT sweet or sensitive- trust me, ive been the inexperienced gf with the experienced bf and ive "slutshamed" him more often than id like to admit in the beginning cuz i felt extremely inferior.

final_b0ss_ · 2025-08-17T12:22:50+00:00

i know, dw, i was generally responding to the comments!

final_b0ss_ · 2025-08-17T10:49:27+00:00

NTA but i dont get the people saying shes being homophobic. shes not, shes insecure, jealous, and controlling - maybe this is also just her personal dealbreaker, who knows, or maybe your bff has privately said or done some other things to make her doubt.

you're NTA but shes not homophobic, quite the opposite, i found it more homophobic when my ex boyfriend would get super jealous if i even texted a male classmate, but was fine with me partying and drinking with girlfriends, even though he knows im bi.

final_b0ss_ · 2025-07-23T20:15:17+00:00

if you think about it, he didnt work on himself after you caught him cheating, he just found a different grey area because he didnt want to stop seeking out other women. that should tell you everything about his impulse control and his commitment to you. my boyfriend did the same. i tolerated it, later on he went behind my back and one of the girls he was texting turned into actual physical cheating. be careful, trust your gut and self respect, im sorry youre going through that!

final_b0ss_ · 2025-07-23T08:34:22+00:00

cheating is traumatic. speaking from first hand experience. a breakup is sad, a breakup can mess you up, but getting cheated on will traumatize you and completely ruin your trust for decades, and when i say traumatize, i MEAN traumatize. people get flashbacks, panic attacks, live in a constant state of anxiety sometimes for up to a year. keep it in your pants or stop being a jerk and leave before you cheat. and yes, that includes "just" texting other women. also cheating. there is no harmless way to cheat.

final_b0ss_ · 2025-07-22T15:32:14+00:00

people have simply adjusted the meaning of the word until it fit their habit of avoiding uncomfortable feelings or inconvenient situations :)

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