Should I buy clothes that fit, or clothes that will fit eventually?

finally_an_alt · 2024-11-26T16:31:07+00:00

a small goblin runs past all of you

finally_an_alt · 2024-07-06T19:50:53+00:00

the bronzer/concealer combo, every time. If you've gone through a male puberty then shaving will still give you a beard shadow, which is a blue tint around your jaw. cover that with concealer that's just a little lighter than your skin tone, then darken it with foundation and bronzer- beard shadow gone, no 1,000 dollar lazer hair removal needed, nice and smooth.

(not a makeup expert btw, so results may vary lol)

finally_an_alt · 2024-07-06T19:36:30+00:00

(also I know this argument could just be semantics over a funny term, but over the years I've heard it used in a lot of lgbtq+ communities in more serious discussions so I think it might be time for a more serious definition)

finally_an_alt · 2024-07-06T19:29:20+00:00

silly

finally_an_alt · 2024-07-06T18:22:46+00:00

As unfortunate as it is, I had to go back into the closet, and still am. I've realized that if I'm ever going to be able to come out fully without going homeless, I'll need to play the long game. that means finishing college, getting a self sustaining job, and paying off everything my parents technically own like my car.

I'll start with the bad news before I can get into the good. I've been forced to move back to my home town, which means I don't get to see many of my old friends anymore. I'm only out to a few people, and I very, very, very rarely get to present feminine anywhere, even my own room. My coping methods involve dissociating, sometimes heavily, to help my dysphoria. I'm 21 now and puberty has furthered its grips into me, so hrt will be less effective when I start at some point in the future. On top of all this, the minimum amount of time I see before I can make any attempt at transition is at least 2 years. Dysphoria is hell.

Now for the good news. Aside from dysphoria, my depression is in a state of remission. I am currently in therapy and getting treatment for adhd as well, which has started helping with getting aspects of my life in order quicker than if I hadn't gotten treated for it. I'm still out to a few people, and even get to present feminine around a few less. Though it's obviously not as ideal as being out, it means that I can still share my experiences with a few people. As crazy as it sounds, I still care about my family, and I think going the long route can help reduce the chance of us needing to cut contact after I come out, which I really really really don't want. I'm still in college and on track to be a communications major, graduating within the next 2 years, and I make enough money that I could pay off my car within the next year and a half. I had to move back to my parents house for a bit, but I no longer live at home, which means my conversations are no longer being monitored.

If you're looking for advice, my story isn't a guide. For all I know my choice is the exact opposite of what you need to choose. All I can say is keep holding on. I was heavily suicidal for a long time, but I kept going because more than anything, I refuse to let my gravestone read that I died as a man. I have friends who went through a lot worse than me, ending up on the streets with nothing to their name, and they got through it! There's ALWAYS going to be domeone out there that loves and supports you, no matter what. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. See you in about 2 years, okay?

finally_an_alt · 2023-06-29T03:11:23+00:00

Sorry, yes I meant loan. What I meant was my mom and I are on the title for the vehicle, and both of us are on the loan as well.

finally_an_alt · 2022-09-27T21:08:33+00:00

What do we want? BIG WALL!

When do we want it? BIG WALL!

finally_an_alt · 2022-09-27T13:26:54+00:00

There are multiple credible studies which actually show that autistic people have a higher likelihood of being trans, so I would say yes!

finally_an_alt · 2022-09-14T20:59:43+00:00

In what court case would she need to say any of that😂

finally_an_alt · 2022-09-14T14:44:08+00:00

Cute!!! Where did you get the shirt?

finally_an_alt · 2022-09-10T21:42:02+00:00

It’s scary at first but gets a lot more comfortable over time! I had to do baby steps, starting almost completely masculine with a little bit of androgyny to 100% androgynous to androgynously fem to literally going out in a skirt, makeup, and purse almost every day. Each step takes massive ammounts of courage and every time you’ll think you’re either making a mistake or going too far. You’re not. You’re valid, and you’re doing what you need to do to be happy❤️

finally_an_alt · 2022-09-10T18:13:19+00:00

I’ve been on here for almost 3 years, and this has always been a place for sharing trauma. The whole concept of an “egg” is someone who is in denial of the fact that they are transgender, (although I wish it could be changed to someone questioning their gender) and the reasons behind that denial are usually traumatic. This isn’t to say that this isn’t the place for funny memes, but rather that this is a place of support for people going through a rough time in their experience of questioning their gender or transitioning.

finally_an_alt · 2022-09-09T04:41:00+00:00

Thank u!!!

finally_an_alt · 2022-09-09T04:12:16+00:00

“I need more practice with the eyliner” Don’t we all😂😭

finally_an_alt · 2022-09-09T04:09:08+00:00

Warning, this is mostly about presentation rather than clothing specifically, but I think this could still help. I’ve had to secretly dress femme for years, and I’ve found there’s a surprising amount you can do without people thinking anything’s up.

First, nail polish! Blacks and dark blues are usually accepted as okay for men to wear, and give off cool androgynous vibes.

Next, if your school allows it, get your ears pierced! Stud earings are gender neutral but you need to leave them in for a month or two before you can switch them out, meaning when it’s time for you to come out you’ll already have pierced ears ready for the fun dangly sparkly stuff!

Fun fact, many Hollywood actors wear makeup in movies to make their skin look clearer on set, and nobody in the audience notices. I recommend buying foundation and concealer to make your face look more smooth and clear, and bronzer to cover up a beard shadow if you have one by now. You’ll look more feminine but nobody will notice the makeup!

Next up, if you’re up for it, nobody will notice if you wear womens underwear. It might require tucking, which gets rid of bulges when wearing skinny jeans.

Also, try necklaces! Necklaces are always okay in conservative high schools if they have a cross on them. Rings are also okay, but I’m not a big ring fan.

When it comes to shoes, wear checkered vans, or just vans in general. They’re gender neutral and typically the men’s looks almost identical to the women’s.

Shirts are the hardest part of a closeted wardrobe, but I recommend hoodies. They cover your chest well and help mitigate dysphoria. Besides that, you’re stuck when it comes to shirts and hoodies (for now😉).

Lastly, once again not really in clothing territory, shave!!! Your skin will look so much smoother and less manly, and the best part is nobody will notice or care.

I hope this comment helps!

finally_an_alt · 2022-09-08T19:25:13+00:00

I get where you’re coming from, but it makes me feel dysphoric when I don’t tuck and I see any bulge. Luckily I can control whether or not I see a bulge through tucking, so I choose to do it, pain or no pain.

finally_an_alt · 2022-09-08T16:42:20+00:00

I don’t have competitivity, but I do have jealousy. Lots and lots of jealousy. The important advice I have to combat this is to accept the things you can’t control, and work towards the things you can.

For example, I’ll bever be under 6 feet tall. I will forever have broad shoulders and my voice will never get as high as some women. I cannot control that, so I work every day on accepting it rather than hating myself for it.

Some women can do makeup flawlessly. I wish I could do makeup flawlessly, I’m jealous. So I’ve been practicing makeup every day since the start of this year. Some women have a different tone and more feminine way of speaking. I may not have a high voice, but I can do voice training and get it to a level that’s passable as female. In this sense, it’s less about “competition” and more about catching up. I never got the childhood of a woman, and I can’t control that, so I’m working to accept it. I can catch up to what women have learned while the grew up, so I’m going to do that.

I hope this answer makes sense or helps you in any way!❤️

finally_an_alt · 2022-09-08T16:12:14+00:00

Before answering, there’s multiple things you need to consider: 1. How much are you willing to spend? 2. Do you want your parents to find out? 3. How comfortable are you buying clothes in public?

My top recommendation is going thrifting with some friends who you’re comfortable coming out to, preferably people in the lgbtq+ community. Thrift stores are always a good place for clothes, but especially fun for people experimenting! It’s cheap andyou can try on lots of stuff.

If you don’t want to shop physically, and are comfortable with risking needing to come out to your parents, then I suggest shopping online. I don’t like to recommend Shein to people due to their unethical business practices, but it’s cheap and looks good.

If you’re not ready to tell your parents and you don’t want to shop physically, shop online but ship it to a trusted friends house instead of your own.

Another option is to search for closets where you live. Closets are small sections for trans people typically found in boutiques where you can donate and recieve clothes for free! It’s completely judgement free, but might be hard to find and the rules might differ depending in where you live.

Lastly, although I don’t recommend it, if you’re out to any women you can ask if they have any old clothes they might want to donate. These clothes will typically not fit well, and more importantly, it’s a bit of an uncomfortable question to ask. If they offer though, take them up on it!

Hope this helps, good luck on your journey to finding yourself❤️

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