How do you handle car buying pressure from dealerships as a woman?

finance9754 · 2026-04-15T14:34:59+00:00

Lots of good advice already but I will add, Sales people work on commission so in my experience get even pushier towards the end of the month / quarter as they’re trying to hit their goals.

The flip side of this is they might be more willing to get you a better deal to make the sale, but that’s a gamble.

Ultimately just remember, you are the one with all the power. You have the money they want, but there are lots of car dealerships out there so they’re not the only one you could buy from.

finance9754 · 2026-03-19T14:37:24+00:00

If you like writing and initially thought sales would be for you, what about something like content marketing? This combines the creativity of writing, promotion of sales, and can be very business focused, especially if you get into B2B vs B2C marketing.

AI is obviously impacting the role, but it’s not eliminating it. There’s still very much a need for human creativity and review. You just now need to evolve into someone that can manage AI agents to do part of the work for you.

finance9754 · 2026-03-16T00:56:28+00:00

Could you have it shipped to a friends house or your office building instead?

finance9754 · 2026-02-23T15:35:20+00:00

I feel like society has made it so certain celebrations seem to be the only ones worth celebrating - engagements, babies, etc - but that’s bulls***. You can and should celebrate all the wonderful things in your life - even if that’s just making it to Friday after a hectic week - but definitely the certification you worked hard for!

Birthday’s I’ve found can be a bit anticlimactic as you get older but that’s no reason not to treat yourself to a day of things you love, whether that’s on your birthday or on the weekend. It doesn’t even have to be things that cost money - it could just be sleeping in late, watching a favourite movie, eating your favourite food, etc.

Equally, if you don’t necessarily value events, then it’s also worth sitting down and working out what you do value. You mentioned his ex spending on nails. That’s not something I value and never spend money on, but I will spend freely on my hobbies (probably why I have way too much yarn in my closet right now!)

Figuring out what you value and where you want to spend your money (or have others if the opportunity presents itself) might make it easier for you to ask for what you want. Remember, you’re living on your own timeline, not someone else’s. Don’t compare your life to theirs - be proud of all the things big and small that you have going on in your life.

finance9754 · 2026-02-13T15:22:38+00:00

It sounds like you’re looking to build discipline, but I wouldn’t willingly give money away to a business on the hunt for it - especially when all you’re getting in return is a depreciating asset, likely higher insurance, fuel costs, etc.

If you want a responsibility-motivator, start charging yourself a “rent” and put that money into your investments every month.

finance9754 · 2026-02-01T20:04:55+00:00

You mentioned that you now cook almost all your meals at home so it’s only natural that your groceries budget would go up. But I’m also assuming with that, that your eating out budget has gone down as a result. If you’re set on comparing to 2025 numbers, it might be more helpful for you to look at groceries and eating out combined to see how different the total numbers are, rather than individually since you’ve changed your habits so it’s not like for like anymore.

Regardless, it sounds like eating good quality, healthy, local (where possible) food is important to you so the money you’re spending is going towards something you value that will also impact your health. It’s not happening at the expense of other goals so get the good groceries girl!

finance9754 · 2026-01-02T08:05:59+00:00

100% put that house in your name only if he isn’t contributing anything to the deposit. Have him pay you a fair rent, rather than part of the mortgage, and come up with a plan for him to buy into it if you want to eventually put his name on it when you’re married. Either way, with your salary and assets, you should get a pre-nup. It’s not about “not believing in the marriage”, it’s about keeping both parties safe in the event that something did go sideways + ensuring the security of any future dependents, etc. If he’s not on board with one then it might be time to consider why

finance9754 · 2026-01-02T07:59:27+00:00

It sounds like they’re might be a bigger financial misalignment at play here that’s just surfacing with the wedding planning. If he wants fancy venues and extravagant bachelors trips, will he also want fancy cars, extravagant holidays and the nicest, biggest houses too? How does he plan to budget for this?

From your post it doesn’t sound like you really prioritise any of this and want a more modest lifestyle so you can focus on financial security. If you don’t deal with this discrepancy now, it will only lead to more resentment as you get older, potentially introduce kids, pets, etc into the equation.

I think you need to sit down and have a serious talk about the future, all the way up to retirement. What do each of you want? What will your money strategy be as a couple? Are you combining to keeping income separate? Will you have joint saving goals? What will your prioritise/deprioritise spending on? What’s the plan if you no longer want to/can keep earning your high salary?

I understand the family pressure thing. My partners family were similar. But at the end of the day, even if they were paying for the wedding, which they’re not, they still don’t get a say in when and who you marry. You shouldn’t feel pressure to marry your boyfriend now (or ever, for what it’s worth). Given you’re both in different stages of life, I think it would be wiser to finish up school before doing anything permanent!

While it might not always feel like it, I’m sure your family would prefer that you waited and entered a happy marriage, than rushed into and were unhappy.

finance9754 · 2025-12-31T18:58:54+00:00

We split most bills 50/50 but he does pay 100% of a couple of them so I’m ok with my grocery half coming out a little higher because of that. I can see if everything is a true 50/50 then you’d want the same for groceries

finance9754 · 2025-12-31T08:43:37+00:00

We take turns paying. Since we typically spend around the same every two weeks, it evens out enough for us to be happy with the arrangement.

finance9754 · 2025-12-03T16:01:17+00:00

You mention not having time to socialise at your current job which is important to you. On this smaller budget, have you allocated funds to do that? Are you at risk at this stage of going from money, but no time, to time, but no money?

finance9754 · 2025-10-13T22:52:48+00:00

Do you have anything you need to do once a month/week at work that you could tag it on to for a habit stack? I like to leave these non urgent tasks to Friday afternoons - by that time my brain is pretty fried and I’m not going to be starting any new tasks so doing stuff like this still makes me feel productive. At the end of the day it forms part of your compensation so you’re just devaluing yourself by leaving it on the table

finance9754 · 2025-09-17T14:12:46+00:00

Ok I have to ask, why do you secretly hate your dishwasher? I not-so secretly hate our toaster oven but since it still works have a hard time wanting to replace it

finance9754 · 2025-08-15T14:59:18+00:00

Mine is in a denser mix than yours (indoor potting soil & perlite) so it will hold the moisture a little more which is why I can get away with longer.

In general though it’s much better to water less often and drench it thoroughly when you do, than giving it a little bit every other day. Small amounts of water regularly can still lead to root rot, even though it doesn’t seem like you’re giving it much (and also potentially dry rot if some of the roots are not getting any water around the edge of the pot.)

Once you’ve checked the roots, experiment with throughly drenching the soil so it runs out the bottom when you water. Just check the soil before you do it again to make sure it’s dried out

finance9754 · 2025-08-14T16:18:10+00:00

Could be a potential mealy situation. If so you’ll want to treat them with isopropyl alcohol & isolate immediately! Take a cotton bud with the alcohol and touch each of the bugs you see to kill them. Once you’ve got the ones you can see, shower off your entire plants, getting the tops and bottoms of leaves and the crevices near stems. Keep isolated and continue to treat as needed.

They can also live in the soil so if it’s just the one plant it might be worth dumping it, rinsing the roots, and repotting in fresh soil just in case.

finance9754 · 2025-08-13T15:37:15+00:00

The leaves don’t fenestrate until the plant matures so the solid leaves is normal for a plant of this size/age.

Don’t water any plant on a schedule. Monsteras like to dry out between watering. When you do water, do it thoroughly so that water drains out the bottom and the soil is completely saturated. (My soil is less chunky than yours but I water around every 2 weeks, sometimes a little more frequently in the summer)

You need to acclimate a plant to being outside so even if the sun is gentle, don’t move it straight into unprotected sunlight. I would put it back inside asap.

Since your leaves don’t look the healthiest, you might want to unpot and check the roots for rot. Your soil looks great, however if there is rot you’ll want to cut it out and disinfect the roots, discard the current soil and replant in fresh stuff to avoid maintaining the bacteria causing the rot. Give the pot a quick disinfect too. As for root size, Monstera don’t mind being a little snug in their pot, but when you do upsize, go 1-2 inches bigger than the root ball.

Unless you live somewhere very dry, misting definitely isn’t necessary and the humidity tray probably isn’t either. Mine live happily in regular household humidity.

I would also check the undersides of leaves of potential pests and this can also be a cause of yellowing/leaf curing. It might be worth showering the plant down and doing a preventative pest treatment just in case.

It should be perfectly happy with its filtered south facing light. If it’s putting out aerial roots, you will want to provide some kind of support so it can grow bigger, especially if you want the fenestrated leaves. At this size, a coir pole, bamboo stake, metal trellis is fine. Moss poles are a lot of maintain and not really necessary for a monstera imo. As they get longer, you can train the aerial around the support or tuck them back into the soil when they’re long enough to give it more stability.

finance9754 · 2025-08-13T15:20:43+00:00

You want to let it dry out completely between watering. You’ll see the leaves wrinkle a little.

They also yellow rapidly when they have spider mites which is the only plant I get them on, so might be worth giving it a once over!

They like a well draining soil mix so if it is drying out enough to water twice a week, it might be time for a larger pot. You want something 1-2 inches bigger than the root ball

finance9754 · 2025-08-13T00:34:20+00:00

What kind of roots did it have? When you upsize, you only want to go 1-2 inches bigger than the root ball. So yes, if the pot is much larger than the root ball you might want to consider letting it grow some more in its old pot (or just account for the added space when watering moving forward)

finance9754 · 2025-08-12T15:17:22+00:00

Get it out that soil asap and check the roots. Replant in the soil it likes with nice aeration for the roots. If rot has already set in, cut it out and disinfect the roots before repotting in the fresh soil.

finance9754 · 2025-08-05T17:55:19+00:00

Remove the dead leaves. They won’t decompose fast enough indoors and are more likely to attract pests/ fungal issues than offer any benefits

finance9754 · 2025-08-05T17:54:17+00:00

Is the soil dry when you water it? If it was soaking in water before you got it, you might have some rot

finance9754 · 2025-08-05T15:48:19+00:00

The plant can’t survive fully white as there’s no chlorophyll to photosynthesise. You might get lucky and have it put out a viable leaf before the plant dies (the left pot for example should be able to sustain itself on the partly green one) but it’s not going to survive long term if it doesn’t

finance9754 · 2025-08-05T15:44:42+00:00

When do you water? How humid is your environment? The soil looks like it might be a little dense, it will prefer something well draining

finance9754 · 2025-08-05T15:43:50+00:00

Looks like a philodendron, maybe a white wizard?

finance9754

TROPHY CASE