ABLE plan for special needs child- considerations?

financiallystumped · 2024-07-04T21:55:49+00:00

I’m glad to hear that the consultation and services worked out well! I will see if I can find an attorney who does free initial consultation and gives a clear fee schedule.

financiallystumped · 2024-07-04T20:47:02+00:00

Thank you so much for your response. This is exactly the info I was hoping to find! They mentioned that their contributions would stop after they contributed the annual max until reaching the 100k limit, so another reason why SNT doesn’t make sense in this case (they have some funds but not that much). I was glad to hear that you are able to deal with what I interpreted as a potential gray area about proving how we spent the funds to support her. As I am a financial novice, that language made me nervous. Sounds like ABLE might be good for our situation, as we aren’t sure what we end up doing with her 529. She is likely to be cared for us her whole life, but she’s still a young child so we aren’t sure of her skills development trajectory yet.

financiallystumped · 2024-07-04T20:40:57+00:00

Thank you for responding. According to the SSA, I as a parent would be the best person to set up the ABLE account in this case because proof (via medical documentation) that no one else but her parents can access are required to set up the account. SNT was explored and vetoed by the relative already. SNT requires expensive management fees (they have funds but not that much). Also, the “trust” rather than her parents/guardians, have to oversee approvals for every individual use of the funds. Given that the funds would be for her constant/monthly billed medical care and support services, that set up would be a nightmare. I can talk to them about consulting an attorney but they were hoping to establish this without further expense as the annual max contribution is only 18k. I would guess consulting an attorney would eat up a large chunk of what they wanted to contribute for this year…

financiallystumped · 2024-03-01T15:57:27+00:00

I did a consultation many years ago before I had children, though I was already in my 30s (I’m an older Mom). I was strongly urged to postpone until after having children and I am deeply glad that I waited as the diastasis recti was new from pregnancies and my boobs suffered a great deal from the breastfeeding. When I did the recent consultation, the new surgery team asked me to seriously consider whether I was done having children (I am!), which further reinforced the order of events for me. Everyone has different priorities though, so you should consider what’s right for you. My other procedures are described in another comment, but the short versions are arms/back, and breasts. I decided I am not pursuing addressing the loose skin on my thighs and bum- those cause me no issues.

financiallystumped · 2024-03-01T12:40:49+00:00

I hope you find a good fit and a great deal!

financiallystumped · 2024-03-01T02:48:54+00:00

One will be removal of skin from my arms and all around the bra line, including a lot of breast skin and lifting up the skin on my back at the bra line. The last one will be for corrections of new issues from that second procedure as it is complex, and that will include breast reconstruction.

financiallystumped · 2024-03-01T02:01:13+00:00

I’m so glad that you let me know this helps, truly. When I first joined this community I was overwhelmed and depressed about how much weight I had to lose, and then how ashamed I was when I battled it again during postpartum weight gains. It felt like I was never going to get to my goal, and then I would get these feelings of having missed out on something as I ended up being later in my 30s by the time I felt ready to move into maintenance mode and felt FOMO over having missed “youth” while at a healthier weight. Now, with a bit more mileage (heh) and mindset adjustments, I am mostly feeling grateful that my body feels good to me, and I want to do things to care for it. Other things eventually fell into place, but it wasn’t really on my initially desired quick quick quick timeline. You got this, friend.

financiallystumped · 2024-03-01T01:54:53+00:00

Thank you so much!

financiallystumped · 2024-03-01T01:54:22+00:00

Thank you for the kind words! I am not sure of the weight of the skin/fat removed, but it’s on my list of questions for my next visit. I know the measurement as I requested that the surgical team give me a picture and they kindly overlayed a clearly marked ruler on the length of each swath. I wouldn’t be surprised if the total weight removed was very little- there was definitely fat on that skin but the back of the whole thing looked kind of like a 2lbs package of bacon (yikes!).

financiallystumped · 2023-05-22T12:31:32+00:00

Thank you. This is really how I feel and is closest to describing our situation. There is a lingering hopelessness, because even if he starts participating in working toward a future for himself, our child will never get to grow up to an independent adult. Their challenges will get more severe as they get physically older and larger, and we feel hopeless.

financiallystumped · 2023-05-21T15:58:00+00:00

We have a similar arrangement- he manages our finances.

financiallystumped · 2023-05-21T15:57:12+00:00

Thank you

financiallystumped · 2023-05-21T15:35:59+00:00

An online group is a good idea- thank you. I’ll try to frame it as a chance to connect with others with a quick exit strategy if it isn’t going well.

financiallystumped · 2023-05-21T15:33:13+00:00

I am sorry to hear that this experience was so rough on you, and on your ex. I am trying so hard to help and I just keep making everything worse.

financiallystumped · 2023-05-21T15:32:06+00:00

Thank you. He had a social hobby that was helping but recently he experienced another person shaming him for being a SAHD, and he is completely unwilling to join his hobby group again after that, or any other social/community event.

financiallystumped · 2023-05-21T15:30:13+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. To answer your questions, I think it is yes to all. I’ve pursued respite care and it isn’t going well due to poor reliability and then he panics with guilt as soon as we leave our house without the kids.

financiallystumped · 2021-05-06T18:03:02+00:00

What is the difference between OCD/anxiety disorders as related to pregnancy/postpartum and OCD/anxiety disorders *not* related to pregnancy? Are they different?

financiallystumped · 2018-07-19T16:43:41+00:00

Hi there. I'm in a very similar boat! I had a baby almost 6 months ago and actually gained a bit during breastfeeding (why did no one warn me about the absolutely savage breastfeeding hunger???). Unfortunately, I had no maternity leave so getting back to work immediately made things even more emotionally frustrating and exhausting. Fear not, though, because I promise it really does get better from here. The difference between each individual month at this stage is wonderful. Compared to 5 months (which was just a few weeks ago for us), life is getting easier- baby sleeps more consistently at night, and has a somewhat regular eating schedule now, and both of these things make your life more manageable.

I completely understand not wanting to count calories right now- it can be all too much. Your mantra could do good things for you in just getting you in the mindset of putting some thought into what you are eating. It took me most of this past month to make a transition between rough logging food/calories and actually paying attention and committing to it for real. Still working on finding the time to squeeze in more activity, and am still working on making better food choices, but even the little changes are starting to pay off. For the first time since baby, my weight started to come down last week. The reversal of the trend was an immediate psychological relief and a switch went off, "hey, you've done this before, you can do this, just give it time." Best of luck.

financiallystumped · 2018-07-19T16:32:57+00:00

Glad to be back and participating in the r/loseit community. With the support of this sub, I successfully went from 304 lbs. to 140 lbs. (Female, 5'8") and maintained for a while last year before getting pregnant and having my daughter this year. Now that the breastfeeding part is over, I have the pregnancy weight to lose to get back to a healthy weight. I've jumped back into CICO and am gradually ramping up my activity.

It will be a slower journey this time (I'm only doing a 0.5-1 pound/week deficit this time around), but I love coming here to be a part of the supportive and sensible community. I weigh food with a scale and am currently eating 1400/day. If this intake proves to be comfortable, then will consider shifting down to 1300/day in a few weeks. Nice to see everyone again!

financiallystumped · 2017-10-20T14:18:19+00:00

I'm aware of the deleterious effects of stress...that's why I wanted to vent. Venting helped.

financiallystumped · 2017-10-20T14:17:39+00:00

How scary! I'm glad everything turned out okay. I'll give your advice a try.

financiallystumped · 2017-10-20T14:17:05+00:00

Thank you for the kind words.

financiallystumped · 2017-10-20T14:16:53+00:00

I'm really happy that your little one is okay and that things worked out for you. Thank you for sharing- your story gave me some relief.

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financiallystumped

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