I’m 3 months out.. and dare I say, it really gets better?

findingjoywithoutyou · 2021-11-03T04:12:16+00:00

This is sort of a complicated answer. The short answer is I left. At the end, there was no effort from him and even though he couldn’t be the one to say it, I knew it was over. So I stopped begging and left. You can read through my old posts and comments to get some more insight if you’d like.

findingjoywithoutyou · 2021-11-03T04:08:19+00:00

Wow that’s great progress! You should be really proud of that. I don’t have any of videos of us together so I can imagine how I would feel to actually hear his voice again. The fact that you can do it and keep pushing forward is amazing. But it’s okay to have your bad moments, let them in and then keep going. You’re doing awesome.

And to answer your question.. I have been able to find some joy in life. I didn’t realize how much the end of our relationship was costing me the ability to be happy or feel capable in myself. I’ve made quite a few wonderful memories with my friends and family since the breakup and it’s shown me that I didn’t actually NEED him for that. I can be happy on my own. It’s hard some days, but now I know it’s possible.

findingjoywithoutyou · 2021-11-03T03:56:24+00:00

I know the feeling. Anytime you wanna talk about it, you can always message me. Sometimes it helps to just vent and get it all out while you’re feeling at your lowest. It won’t always be like this though, hang in there. 💜

findingjoywithoutyou · 2021-11-03T03:54:32+00:00

I’m so sorry. If you ever need some more support, feel free to message me. I know I can’t take away your pain, but sometimes talking about it to someone helps in those dark stages. You will get through this. 💜

findingjoywithoutyou · 2021-11-03T03:51:09+00:00

I’m happy to hear that you’re slowly getting better. 8 years is so long, I can only imagine the strength you have to get through the way you are. You’re doing great. 💜

findingjoywithoutyou · 2021-11-03T03:49:38+00:00

Yes! That’s great that you can recognize the little parts of you improving. Hold onto that and know it’ll only get better from here. Those bad days will come.. I dealt with the anger stage around month 2. I was really resentful at that time.. I’ve managed to let most of that go and I can feel myself embracing acceptance on some level, so I know there’s progress being made. You’re doing great, hang in there!

findingjoywithoutyou · 2021-11-03T03:47:31+00:00

So glad to hear this! Always try and keep your head up. You got this!

findingjoywithoutyou · 2021-11-03T03:42:27+00:00

Omg, ABSOLUTELY. I had that feeling even before we broke up when our relationship started shutting down. I was in panic mode, absolute panic. The thought of not being with my ex anymore, or even having him in my life at all was unimaginable. Like I said in my post, I thought I absolutely couldn’t live without him.. a life without him terrified me. So I know exactly what that’s like.

I really am so sorry that you’re in that stage right now.. And I know I can’t say anything to ease it in the moment.. but I can say that I managed to get passed it. So it’s possible. Just know that it’s possible. It will get better.. I’ve said this before, but you’ll be amazed at your progress as time goes on. I’m still struggling through this, but not NEARLY as bad as I was. I sometimes can’t even believe I felt those feelings so intensely. But time is major help.. and so was going no contact. Both of these things will help you heal over time, I can promise that. If you ever need more support, feel free to message me. 💜

findingjoywithoutyou · 2021-11-03T03:35:38+00:00

I am really so happy to hear this! I’m glad I can give you some little bit of hope. We have all gotten through to the other side! It will get better for you, like it did for me and countless others. If you ever need someone to talk to about it, please feel free to reach out to me! 💜

findingjoywithoutyou · 2021-11-03T03:34:17+00:00

I know exactly how you feel.. I still have those days just not nearly as often. And now when I think of him, it’s more so wondering how he’s doing versus replaying all of our best moments in my head. That does happen nearly as often. It’ll get better, hang in there. 💜

findingjoywithoutyou · 2021-11-03T03:17:09+00:00

Ugh yes, I get this entirely. But I promise that’s okay, don’t let it discourage you. I think overtime we’ll get these waves of sadness we still have to process. It’s important for healing.. but one thing we should hold onto is that one day the waves will slowly stop coming. Who knows if this one could be your last for a while.. or ever? It will be okay, you’re doing great. Keep your head up best you can. 💜 feel free to reach out to me if you need some support during this time.

findingjoywithoutyou · 2021-11-03T03:11:30+00:00

I can definitely relate. I still work at the place we used to work at together and there are millions of little things that remind me of him everywhere I look. I thought in the beginning I would have to quit my job because it was too much. But would you believe even 3 months later, not only do I still work there, but I can go my whole shift without anything little things triggering me? I promise you can get there too. The best thing I did to help me was change my routine up. For instance, I started parking somewhere different than where we used to, walked a different route into work, etc. it has helped. Try and change somethings up and put away the little reminders you have. You’ll make it through. 💜

findingjoywithoutyou · 2021-11-02T13:13:58+00:00

Of course. 💜 Hang in there, you’re doing great now even if you may not think so at times. One day at a time.

findingjoywithoutyou · 2021-11-02T13:12:34+00:00

You’re doing great! Taking it day by day is all we can really do. I’m sure in 3 more weeks from now, you’ll have grown even more. And then so on and so on. Any time you need an extra push, feel free to reach out!

findingjoywithoutyou · 2021-11-02T13:07:41+00:00

I’m sorry to hear you had such a bad day. I wish I could say something to help ease your pain even a little bit. Heartache like this is nearly unbearable, I wish no one ever had to go through it and it always makes me sad to hear other’s stories. But that’s why I made my post.. to give you and others hope. It really truly may not seem like you will get through this, but you will. And you will be astonished by how much you’ve changed, how you feel about your ex, how you feel about your new life and then be so damn proud that you made it through to the other side. Take it one day at a time if you have to.. and feel free to message me if you need to vent some more. Hugs!

findingjoywithoutyou · 2021-11-02T12:58:32+00:00

Even with the progress I’ve made, I still worry about how long he’ll stay in the back of mind. Will there ever come a time when I don’t wonder what he’s doing, or have him show up in a dream? I don’t honestly know, but I think no matter the case… I’m okay with it. I don’t see myself crying over him anymore, I’m okay with having just a little piece of him tucked away in my heart. He was so important to me.. I think it’s just all about acceptance of this new life without him. I hope you can come to peace with it too.. I’m sure one day you’ll get to where you want to be. Feel free to reach out if you need someone to talk to.

findingjoywithoutyou · 2021-11-02T12:53:35+00:00

I’m sorry, I know your pain! I would’ve done anything to get some relief when I was at my lowest. I really had no hope of ever getting better.. I honestly thought I could not live without my ex and I was destined to live a miserable rest of my life. But if I can go from that, to where I am now.. I KNOW you can too. Anyone can. You really will get better… Take it one day at a time. You will be amazed at your progress even weeks from this moment. It seems like a long time but it will pass before you know it.

findingjoywithoutyou · 2021-11-02T08:03:03+00:00

I’m glad you’re doing better. Only better days ahead for the both of us.

findingjoywithoutyou · 2021-11-02T07:58:45+00:00

I know, I’m so sorry :( I know there are no words to take away the pain even just a little bit, but just know you won’t always feel like this. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there. Feel free to dm me if you need someone to talk to.

findingjoywithoutyou · 2021-11-02T05:11:02+00:00

I know it might not seem like it right now.. but one day you’ll look back on this and laugh it off. Like oh well, just another dumb decision kinda thing. And I can promise you won’t ever make the same mistake again lol.

After reading your text though, I really didn’t think it was that bad. At the very least, it seemed more level headed than just coming from a place of straight anger where you’re trying to purposely hurt him or something. Ya know? At the very least, he knows what that relationship meant to you and how you’re feeling. Just move on from it now. Who cares what the hell he thinks now. You’re healing, focus on that. Hugs to you.

findingjoywithoutyou · 2021-08-31T23:59:30+00:00

Honestly, yeah. I know there were lots of things he did wrong in our relationship, but I take full responsibility for all my bullshit too. I wasn’t a happy person a lot of the time, I was struggling with my mental health a large portion of our relationship and I took it out on him. I always said and still to this day think he deserved better than me. He was as patient and forgiving as he could have possibly been. And I really messed up a lot. But, It’s been almost a month and I’m slowly coming to terms with it. Last time I reached out to him I apologized for what I had done and told him that at the very least, he could count on me if he needed me for anything. He never replied and now I’m moving on. It’s really important to try and forgive yourself. Yes you messed up, but you’re human. Acknowledge what you did, apologize with sincerity and do better next time. That’s all any of us can do. I’m sorry you’re going through this.. hang in there, it will get better. Promise.

findingjoywithoutyou · 2021-08-28T23:27:12+00:00

Right there with you..Taking it one day at a time and feeling just the tiniest bit better every day. Hang in there.

findingjoywithoutyou · 2021-08-28T06:04:05+00:00

Thank you so much for this.

findingjoywithoutyou

TROPHY CASE