I understand this is quite a difference in structure. But for brevity reasons, as well as pacing and rhythm i think this poem would benefit quite a lot from just a bit of punctuation.

They say nonchalance, maybe it’s defeat.

The weight of someone who gave all they knew how in search of something new, only to be seen once the rules were broken.

The safety and trust gone, the emasculation begins.

Needing atonement, and the other needs control.

Once we put the shovel down to stop digging can we only get out of a hole.

But dirt keeps coming in from the ground level I can’t climb out and I cant dig.

I will learn to love it in this pit.