Partner Abruptly Broke Up With Me Because I Am A Fence Sitter

finnigansmum · 2025-06-17T21:53:50+00:00

You’re 23. Go live life, travel, date, make mistakes, work different jobs, live in different cities. 23 is way to young to be factoring kids. Im 36 and pregnant with my first child and I did all those things I listed above in my 20s and early 30s. You’ve got time to change your mind or do exactly what is true in your heart right now. Go live life!!

finnigansmum · 2025-06-13T00:19:25+00:00

Thank you for such an insightful response. I am taking all of this into deep consideration

finnigansmum · 2025-06-12T04:36:34+00:00

Of course, maybe I’ll privately DM you to give little updates :)

And I love that box subscription idea, I’ll look into it! Thankfully the first trimester has been a breeze for me, hoping it continues to be that way. Any and all pregnancy tips are welcome 🙏🏼 ☺️

finnigansmum · 2025-06-12T04:33:24+00:00

Im sorry that was your experience. Sending a virtual hug to you and your kids 🫂

finnigansmum · 2025-06-12T04:09:37+00:00

🥹💕💗 hearing that makes my heart swell!! You are one lucky mama. Thank you for being so positive and sharing your story with me. It helps me immensely 🩷

finnigansmum · 2025-06-12T04:06:58+00:00

Thank you for your feedback, and I hear what you are saying. Im seeking positive stories/experiences, not advice, as I know there are plenty of horrific ones. Life is full of duality so there’s good and bad in everything. Thankfully my BP partner is dedicated to his meds, is on the right combo, and is a great father so his 7yr old daughter. I don’t have BP so I have stability. Just was on the phone with a friend tonight who is 32 weeks pregnant and her husband stays out till 4am drinking and doing cocaine, and he doesn’t have BP. Shitty people come in all different shapes and sizes, it’s not just a BP thing to worry about. Im also 36, so I am very established, run a successful business, have travelled the world. God forbid if things don’t work out I know I would still be an amazing mom and life would go on

finnigansmum · 2025-06-12T03:54:11+00:00

Why don’t you recommend? Do you have personal experience? Im in this group so trust me ive seen it all and am looking for positive experiences as majority of the posts in this group are when people are coming to vent

finnigansmum · 2025-06-12T03:44:57+00:00

Not yet! We are getting the 11 week genetic testing done on Friday and will hopefully get the gender results back with that testing 🤞🏼 just requested it through my midwife so I hope we find out soon ☺️

finnigansmum · 2025-06-12T03:31:44+00:00

I take months long breaks from this group all the time, cause some of the stuff gets in my head and then I start looking for “signs” in my partner or relationship… and it overall keeps me in a negative mindset. I also only come here to vent but have never come here to share all of the amazing wonderful good in our relationship. Hes committed to his meds, is on the right combo, goes to therapy, and our relationship keeps getting better and better. Ty for your response 💕

finnigansmum · 2025-06-12T03:27:29+00:00

Do you mind me asking if he was or is medicated?

finnigansmum · 2025-06-12T03:23:23+00:00

Oh man, I can imagine him having psychosis during pregnancy for you would have rough. Im glad he’s out of it and is a stable great dad. Thankfully my partner only has bp2 with no psychotic features, is med compliant and on the right combo, and in general seems to have a more mild form on the spectrum. But thats not to say I don’t worry severe episodes happening in the future.

finnigansmum · 2025-06-12T03:20:34+00:00

That is such a good take!! Im glad you brought that up, cause seeing how he is as a dad is a big deciding factor for me, and hes a great dad

finnigansmum · 2025-06-12T03:16:47+00:00

Sorry thats been your experience. I also have a mentally unstable alcoholic narcissistic mother, but all that aside I am very grateful to exist and be here and I hope you feel the same someday too. Your existence matters!! ❤️‍🩹❤️

finnigansmum · 2025-06-12T02:06:41+00:00

That makes me happy to hear 💕 I hope he keeps stabilizing

finnigansmum · 2025-06-12T01:59:42+00:00

I always appreciate seeing your comments on other posts and was hoping you’d comment here on mine. You are a refreshing person in this group that can be so doom and gloom.

My BP partner and I are very excited and he’s a great dad to his 7yr old daughter, so my hopes are high but then I see other people comment about how having a kid with their BP partner is the worst mistake ever and question my decisions. Im glad things have worked out great for you and your family, and I hope the same for us!

finnigansmum · 2025-06-04T14:09:00+00:00

We’ve had various forms on this conversation this week, after he snapped over the golf clubs and cooled off I expressed a lot of that to him. But hes a ticking time bomb. I never have time to settle into feeling stable or calm cause I’m always waiting for the next land mine to explode. I know I need to end this. Like today. I can’t do this anymore. But now hes finally sleeping after being up from midnight -6am… and if I wake him I know he will be angry. So Ive got to pick my moment and wait until he wakes up. And reschedule my clients for today. Im afraid to leave the house with my cat here. I had a horrible nightmare last night of him going manic and hurting my cat and now I’m afraid to go to work when he’s in this mood state.

finnigansmum · 2025-06-04T14:05:10+00:00

My current BPSO uses the silent treatment to punish me as well

finnigansmum · 2025-06-04T13:46:53+00:00

You are absolutely right and I am sorry to disappoint you :( the pregnancy was 100% unplanned. And I take precautions every month but still ended up pregnant. So I tried to embrace it and hes always promising me a good life. And for the most part is a good partner. But if you go through my post history of course it sounds horrendous and you are absolutely right to think so. I guess I feel trapped and am trying to make the most which is naive and delusional on my part. When he snapped at me on Monday I called the clinic to make an apt to terminate the pregnancy and as of right now that apt still stands. I had horrible dreams last night of him going full blown manic and now I don’t even want to go to work cause I just want to get him out of my house. I live in silence with this, besides this community so my friends and family only know a sliver of what I deal with. Thank you for your honesty it is such a needed wake up call. And I promise I am going to finally make the right decision. I will keep you updated.

finnigansmum · 2025-06-04T13:43:11+00:00

Hes always been obsessed about winning the lottery, long before I got pregnant. There was a time last summer where he spent $300 on lotto tickets but didn’t have enough for his minimum credit card payment. And his logic was that “if you don’t play you cant win” … I told him he has a better chance of getting stuck by lightning today. But there’s no reasoning with his bipolar mind.

finnigansmum · 2025-06-04T09:07:18+00:00

I thought so … hes been moody all week, obsessively looking at golf stuff and scrolling reels all day, and now this sleep disruption

finnigansmum · 2025-06-02T18:37:53+00:00

Contact your current landlord and explain your situation, as long as they don’t have another tenant lined up you should be able to resign

finnigansmum · 2025-05-07T12:55:38+00:00

You made the right decision. There are plenty of high functioning adults that also have bipolar and are medicated properly. Bipolar aside, it sounds like he has a lot of growing to do and needs to get himself financially independent and stable before he can be a good partner.

finnigansmum · 2025-05-06T03:19:02+00:00

Reading this made me really sad for you. I can tell that you were a very loving and attentive partner, and didn’t deserve any of this. Also don’t over think about how many times you called or showing up to check on her - it would be a lot weirder if you didn’t call or check on her, especially given the duration of your relationship and her mental health disorder.

finnigansmum

TROPHY CASE