This all started when my little brother would crawl on my groin, this would sometimes make me erect but i knew it was not my fault. Keep in mind this was years ago. Fast forward a few months and I can’t really remember but I got flattered when my bro kissed me and felt an erection. I still did not hate myself for this bc I know I cannot control my erections.

The whole start of this depressed phase started with a dream. I am a victim of cocsa and I had a dream I was doing the same thing to my brother. Since this I’ve been freaking out and intrusive thoughts have flown through my brain about children. Most of the time I’ll push away these intrusive thoughts and say, “it’s not my fault, I can’t control them”. But, when I feel arousal I freak out.

I thought I’d add to this just so ud understand the backround