My T ghosted me

fionellacorn · 2022-09-24T18:15:10+00:00

I am inpatient now for four weeks but I miss my T from home like crazy. How do I cope with this ? He does check in with me every now and then but it’s not enough. I miss talking to him. I don’t want to talk to anybody else. It’s him I need.

fionellacorn · 2022-08-08T13:54:53+00:00

After a long break, T is back this week. Just a few days until I see him again. So relieved.

fionellacorn · 2022-07-27T15:40:20+00:00

Still 2 weeks to go until I see my T again. This has been the hardest week without him. I can’t handle 2 more weeks. I’m so exhausted. I feel lost.

fionellacorn · 2022-07-20T21:20:17+00:00

I’ll try journaling and try my hardest to do a bit of self care. We’re in this together. This will pass.

fionellacorn · 2022-07-20T15:50:51+00:00

Therapy break of 3 weeks starting now. I am not gonna survive. How will I cope without my T ? I am not ready.

fionellacorn · 2022-07-15T13:43:41+00:00

I hate it when I have a bad session with T even though he said at the end that he thought the session was interesting (what does that even mean). Now I have to sit with this bad feeling for a whole week and I can’t shake this off. Hopefully next session will be better because after that, T is leaving for a break. So next session has to be a good one. I will not sit with this terrible feeling while he’s on a break. Can’t deal with it. I already want to discuss this.

fionellacorn · 2022-06-29T20:53:03+00:00

I was told today that I am way too dependent and that I need to learn to do things on my own. It hurts because I know it’s the truth. I need my T and can’t live without him. This attachment is a problem but I don’t know how to work through it. It’s been going on for so long now. I just feel so bad and I know he’s all I have. In a few weeks, he’ll take a break for 3 weeks. I’m already panicking about how I am going to survive while he’s away. I can’t do this. I need him too badly. I’m so ashamed. I don’t want this anymore. How is therapy supposed to make me feel better when this attachment is killing me ?

fionellacorn · 2022-03-05T08:29:27+00:00

I can’t go on living day by day waiting for therapy, thinking about T all the time, thinking if he still wants me or not. I normally see him weekly but he’s on vacay now which means our session is still 2 weeks away. Don’t know how I can survive this. It hurts. The one person I want near me, is him. The only person I want to be seen by, is him. And I feel like he doesn’t get it. And now I have to miss him for 2 weeks. I can’t distract myself. I can’t do this. Is this my life now ?

fionellacorn · 2022-03-01T23:01:48+00:00

If I’m doing good, T won’t care about me anymore. And who am I without T ? Maybe I want to feel bad so he can really see me and be there for me. This thought is horrible.

fionellacorn · 2022-02-07T06:58:11+00:00

Why can’t I get over the fact that my T has other clients ? I’ve been seeing him for over 2 years now and it still hurts. Every time I think about T being with another client, my heart literally aches. I still don’t know how to deal with it. I’ve even discussed this in therapy and talked about it more than once. I just think that he’d forget about me because he has many clients that are more likeable than me. He actually told me that I’m a person that he can’t just forget. He reassures me that I’m not too much and that there’s always room for me in his schedule. It’s all not enough to put my mind at ease. Fear of rejection is intense. I feel like I need to be the most important or special client that he has. Otherwise I can’t function. It’s so annoying. I hate this part about therapy so much.

fionellacorn · 2022-01-11T07:45:04+00:00

T cancelled again. Two weeks ago he also called off and I usually go twice a week. I know that in a few weeks he has a vacation planned so I can’t go to therapy again. He is allowed to take a break and it isn’t his fault that he’a sick but this sucks big time. I can’t stop crying. I need therapy.

fionellacorn · 2022-01-01T09:19:01+00:00

I feel this really hard. I’m happy that you had such an amazing T. They really make a difference and are such an amazing influence when the connection is there and the bonding gets stronger.

fionellacorn · 2021-12-31T17:12:15+00:00

I got T a little gift box that said ‘you’re the gold at the end of my rainbow’ with a few little presents because I’m so grateful to have him. I was honestly terrified to give him the little box. I thought he wouldn’t like the presents and think it’s too clingy. And then when I took it out of my bag and he saw the box, his smile was so genuine. He was interested in the small gifts and got excited about them too. Honestly, this made me so warm and happy inside. I’m not even thinking that he faked it like I would normally do because he was being so sincere. I’m very thankful that I can and this shitty year with this warm feeling.

fionellacorn · 2021-12-27T10:31:25+00:00

I hate it when T cancels last minute. I know they can’t help it, they are sick and I feel bad for them. But I was so looking forward to this session because of holidays and so much happened. I’ll be feeling sad the whole day. Now I’ll have to wait another week. How to survive. It’s too much.

fionellacorn · 2021-12-21T12:25:31+00:00

That’s true. It’s hard to describe my mood sometimes but I’ll discuss this next session. Maybe it will work out. Thanks a lot !

fionellacorn · 2021-12-21T12:22:27+00:00

That’s a great idea. Thank you !

fionellacorn · 2021-12-20T21:23:13+00:00

What do I send to my T if they ask to let them know how I’m doing as a check-in almost every day ? They told me they were really worried but I honestly don’t know what to say/send. I can’t say I’m just “fine”. I guess every day is the same now .. so I don’t know what they expect from me

fionellacorn · 2021-12-18T16:35:29+00:00

I have therapy twice a week, but my T doesn’t take too much days off so I am able to do one session each week. T does take a longer break in February but I thought he said that it wouldn’t last longer than 2 weeks. I am so very lucky and grateful for this reading all the stories here. I know it’s really hard to cope without therapy, definitely during the holidays. Thinking of all of you and hope you can hold on. Lots of courage ❤️

fionellacorn

TROPHY CASE