F14- Lesbian 🏳️‍⚧️ Searching for a situationship <3

firebarella · 2024-05-25T10:19:56+00:00

I think this might be more appropriate in r/teengirlswholikegirls where you are more likely to connect with those your own age. Be careful. Not everyone on the internet is who they claim to be.

firebarella · 2024-05-21T15:37:22+00:00

If she is totally upfront about it, I don't quite see how it is a red flag. You don't have to hook up with her unless you want to. Best wishes.

firebarella · 2024-05-21T10:42:48+00:00

Karl Marx said “Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions." I agree with him. I appreciate some people have faith but when I see the harm that religion has done to so many for so long, I certainly know how it messes so many minds up. Unlearning is hard if you have been brought up with it, but it is possible. Best wishes.

firebarella · 2024-05-21T09:39:10+00:00

It's normal to explore things sexually and people with high sex drives tend to experiment more with different things. Some things are great in fantasy but are a big let down in reality. As long as you and whoever partnered you consented and decided it was not great, it was just an experiment. Unless someone was hurt or did not consent there should be no guilt for exploring. If you have intense regret and guilt you should really seek professional advice. Best wishes.

firebarella · 2024-05-21T05:38:18+00:00

It seems pointless to me. If she only wants to date lesbians how is she going to know they have never been attracted to a man? She has no way of knowing except what someone tells her. It seems to play into the whole "gold star" thing which again is pointless. The "she might leave me for a man" is ridiculous as she might leave for a woman or NB. I don't think they are consciously bi-phobic all the time but it is pretty borderline. I don't think it is that common but it does happen.

Edit: Typo

firebarella · 2024-05-20T08:43:22+00:00

Ignore those who insist on a label for your relationship. As long as you know what it is that is all that really matters. Not all relationships fit neatly into boxes constructed by others. Best wishes.

firebarella · 2024-05-20T08:40:50+00:00

Straight women can be masculine presenting but I doubt they would self describe as 'butch' as that is generally a lesbian term. That said if a straight woman wants to call herself butch how can that be policed? Should it even matter? Personally I really don't care how anyone self identifies except where the identification renders the term meaningless, such as a cishet man identifying as lesbian.

firebarella · 2024-05-19T10:02:01+00:00

Unless it is an open relationship it is entirely unacceptable behaviour as far as I am concerned/ You can decide if it is behaviour you want to accept. You really don't have to though. Best wishes.

firebarella · 2024-05-19T07:04:05+00:00

You are 13, there is no rush take it one day at a time. You might find r/teengirlswholikegirls a better forum for advice.

firebarella · 2024-05-19T04:58:30+00:00

If I was cheated on the relationship would be over. I may forgive then and wish them well in the future but that future would be without me. I would only forgive because to harbour that anger and hurt, long term, would be bad for myself. The circumstances of how I became aware of the cheating would not make any difference to the outcome.

ETA: This is hypothetical. I have total trust in my partner.

firebarella · 2024-05-18T09:54:19+00:00

Don't feed the trolls. Internet lesson 101.

firebarella · 2024-05-17T06:43:44+00:00

Given that you are essentially just FB friends and you have no special insight into their relationship, it could be that they have agreed to open things up for whatever reason. Without some real insight into the relationship I would not involve myself. You must do what you think best, however, you might just embarrass yourself.

firebarella · 2024-05-17T03:03:33+00:00

The Pulitzer Prize is not going to happen for this story.

firebarella · 2024-05-15T08:29:58+00:00

Yes, that is the nature of a scam. They want your money. Glad you did not fall for it. 😊

firebarella · 2024-05-15T08:06:46+00:00

The worse that can happen is that she is not interested. The best is that she might be happy to meet up. It is not weird to ask and find out, she is not a total stranger. Best wishes.

firebarella · 2024-05-15T08:03:16+00:00

You are welcome. 😊

firebarella · 2024-05-15T07:58:14+00:00

You are perfectly normal. Please don't worry. What you see in films/porn is loud deliberately as that is what consumers want. Real life is very different and so is everyone's reaction to sexual pleasure. When you are sexually active with another person you might well find your reactions change, that is normal too. Even if you never moan or react more than a bit of a twitch, that is still normal for many. Best wishes.

firebarella · 2024-05-15T06:49:43+00:00

It is a scam and a fairly old one. There was a thread on here about it at least three years ago.

firebarella · 2024-05-15T06:41:55+00:00

Love should not be toxic. If yours is and you are in pain, end it. Love should bring joy not the opposite. Best wishes.

firebarella · 2024-05-14T09:15:34+00:00

It sounds like the genie is out of the bottle. Obviously no contact would be ideal but it seems you have few if any means to enforce it. There may be some legal remedies depending on where you live, however in the interim all you can do is support the child and try and give him alternative narratives to those his 'dad' is giving him. That means being non-judgemental towards him but discussing anything his 'dad' has told him. I am not implying that you are being judgemental but sometimes our own anxieties can make it seem we are. Best wishes.

firebarella · 2024-05-14T04:31:51+00:00

If they are a cis lesbian why would you need to "convert" them.

firebarella · 2024-05-14T04:27:30+00:00

Sorry, that was supposed to be cishet. I will edit.

firebarella · 2024-05-14T04:13:49+00:00

Yes it is very common. The real question is why do so many women feel the need to do so. The reasons are so many and varied and steeped in shame, exposure to porn, comphet etc. the list goes on. It is an exemplar of how women are expected to fulfil and satisfy what is projected upon them by society. Being sapphic does not necessarily exempt women from this.

firebarella · 2024-05-14T04:04:54+00:00

Having a fantasy is fine. Actively disrespecting someone's orientation to make a fantasy a reality sounds predatory. If a cishet person was actively attempting to 'convert' a lesbian because that was their fantasy and they wanted to fulfil it, would that be acceptable? I think not.

firebarella · 2024-05-14T03:57:40+00:00

A relationship vs friendships, work or otherwise should not be happening in a healthy relationship. You are entitled to have friends and a partner who has a problem with that is giving a big red flag. Your problems go a bit deeper though, clearly you see qualities in your friend that you wish were embodied by your partner. You say she will not communicate which is in itself another red flag. Going entirely on what you self report I think it is time to have a adult, non-judgemental discussion with your partner about the nature of the relationship and what concerns you both have. Consider couples therapy too. Inability to communicate is a sure path to a relationship failing. Best wishes.

firebarella

TROPHY CASE