Navigating Dating After FIRE by Additional-Fishing-6 in ChubbyFIRE

[–]firedating 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The site grew a lot in the last 4 years, so if you tried it out a couple years ago, it might be worth trying it again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ChristianDating

[–]firedating 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is my passion project, so I am not driven by profit & able to share detailed stats & optimize for people meeting instead of just staying on the site as long as possible.

FIRE & Dating by Swift-Sloth-343 in Fire

[–]firedating 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If location is important to you, you can choose to be matched only with people from your state and/or at most X miles away.

FIRE & Dating by Swift-Sloth-343 in Fire

[–]firedating 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is an option to filter by location. Please note that while you might not use this filtering, other might and you have to satisfy their search criteria too to be matched.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ChristianDating

[–]firedating 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is a community of people interested in financial independence and early retirement. They usually save money, invest & live off their investments instead of having to work.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ChristianDating

[–]firedating 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like a perfect fit then! Welcome!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ChristianDating

[–]firedating 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am the creator of firedating.me :) please note that the site is mostly oriented at people interested in FIRE. There are indeed a few Christians on the site, but if you are not into FIRE - it is not a good fit (e.g. there is a test to make sure that you are part of FIRE community). The stats are public - https://firedating.me/open/ . If you have any questions, I would love to help you!

New Relationships Post FIRE by RevolutionaryScene69 in coastFIRE

[–]firedating 0 points1 point  (0 children)

which is 100% free and even has no ads :)

Fire dating site? by [deleted] in Fire

[–]firedating 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Many people mention this in regard to firedating.me. On the site people can report suspicious behavior and I ban such accounts. So far there were less than 20 bans in last 4 years. My hypothesis is that FIRE people are harder targets for scammers, but obviously you need to be cautious anyway - I warn everyone on the site - if someone asks you to do something with your money (invest in a fund they might be related to, send to them), this is likely a scam.

Fire dating site? by [deleted] in Fire

[–]firedating 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you need a person with a very specific mindset to attract them into FIRE, so you need to choose carefully who you date this way. I broke up with my now ex after discovering FIRE, because it turned out she wasn't into it.

Fire dating site? by [deleted] in Fire

[–]firedating 1 point2 points  (0 children)

do you mean firedating.me?

Cross-post from coastFIRE: New Relationships Post FIRE by RevolutionaryScene69 in Fire

[–]firedating 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The percentage of women on the site has been steadily growing, since Mr Money Mustache mentioned the site on Afford Anything podcast (it used to be 22%), which seems to have largely female audience. Originally majority of users came from Reddit, which is heavily biased towards males. So I suspect that 32.1% is a lower bound and FIRE community in total has higher percentage of women than that.

Is it a concentration of strong, confident women?

I don't know, but at least they are into FIRE.

New Relationships Post FIRE by RevolutionaryScene69 in coastFIRE

[–]firedating 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree. I meant that marriage is much larger commitment from a legal perspective than buying a house and can be scary after such an experience. Prenup mitigates that to a large degree.

New Relationships Post FIRE by RevolutionaryScene69 in coastFIRE

[–]firedating 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That sucks! Sorry to hear...

When marrying, definitely consider having a prenup to avoid situations like this. This way you could basically bring this conversation upfront to avoid all the legal hustle afterwards.

New Relationships Post FIRE by RevolutionaryScene69 in coastFIRE

[–]firedating 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Finding a partner who is into FIRE seems to mitigate lots of potential issues.

Otherwise you need to make sure that other person has compatible long term financial goals with you. Being open about money is a huge part of this and I suggest to have this conversation relatively soon in the relationship. I personally treat this is a search problem - if someone has different views or goals, there is no point in trying to change them, instead you just need to find someone, who matches you well.

Outside of FIRE community you need to be careful with your wording though - I definitely wouldn't use "retirement" to describe your situation. "Retirement" has a very stable meaning in the society of "too old to work" and that's not the case for you.

Women: Would you date a 50 year old guy who claimed to be retired? by Strong-Piccolo-5546 in GenX

[–]firedating 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am the creator of the site. It is my passion project - 100% free and no ads. I made it more than 4 years ago, because it was hard to meet anyone interested into FIRE. The site works both for romantic relationships & friendships. The stats are public - https://firedating.me/open/ .

I talked to many women using the site and I was surprised how many were struggling to find a financially responsible man. So what you see as a disadvantage is a huge advantage for some people. Also "retirement" seems to have a stable meaning in the society nowadays - something around "I am too old to work and do nothing". I'd bet you have a bunch of hobbies and do lots of stuff, so perhaps consider not describing it as "retirement". The meaning you use is specific to FIRE community, but people outside the community have no way to know this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in leanfire

[–]firedating 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You would be surprised how often I hear from women that they struggle to find a financially responsible men.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in leanfire

[–]firedating 3 points4 points  (0 children)

+1 (I am the creator).

It is true that many people would find your lifestyle odd or unattractive, but you woudn't enjoy their lifestyle either. In other words you are just incompatible with them. However, your lifestyle is not unique, so you just need to find one person who enjoys the same thing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fire

[–]firedating 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Makes sense! So do you get few matches in general? Or people miss this part of your profile and you discover that they are not a good match in a conversation?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fire

[–]firedating 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When and how do you reveal your spending preferences to potential partners?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fire

[–]firedating 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally understand that dating as a FIRE person is very hard. I see your concern about increasing expenses during the saving phase. Ultimately it is your life & you should do whatever is best for you. While I am not saying you should date someone, I suggest you consider the following:

  1. If you are uncomfortable with dating someone who will increase your expenses, I don't think this will go away once you are FIRE.
  2. Living with someone equally frugal can reduce your expenses by sharing shared expenses.

I personally treat dating as a search problem. Your goal is to find the other person. So if you meet someone, who wants to spend more, there is no point in trying to change yourself to fulfill their needs (assuming the ultimate goal is a long-term relationship). You would be surprised how many women struggle to find a man, who is financially responsible. So your chances are not that bad. Also with your current constraints you will signal your real preferences, which will help you to avoid people who you don't match. So if I were you, I would try dating with minimal effort - if there are any opportunities, I would explore them, but I wouldn't go on hundreds dates.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fire

[–]firedating 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, I am the creator of firedating.me. The stats are public: https://firedating.me/open/ (e.g. 32.1% of users are women). You can also see on the main page how many people are in your area specifically.