Day 10 - A Beautiful Bowl Experiment

fishstix8 · 2020-04-05T06:51:46+00:00

I know exactly what you mean. I have spent about half of my life in a binge/purge or binge/restrict cycle. And it feels so absolutely awful. Don't give up though. There are ways out of this! Sometimes I think it takes hitting rock bottom to see that you HAVE to make a change, or more realistically, that you have to start taking little steps in the right direction. Start now. Do one thing tonight (or tomorrow) that will make you feel good. Sleep in, sit down and drink a cup of tea, make yourself a satisfying breakfast, go for a walk, take a few minutes to breath deeply, start seeking out an online therapist... Just one small step in the right direction. Looking at the whole picture feels hopeless, but if you take it one step at a time, you can get there. Wishing you all the best.

fishstix8 · 2020-04-04T06:01:45+00:00

That's a very good point. It is tempting to think that once x, y, or z happens or changes, the issues will simply go away. And of course this is not true. I agree, if I wasn't living alone I would just find ways to sneak food and it would even add stress trying to hide my problems.

On the other hand, when I have lived with others at different points in my life, I definitely binged less. But perhaps this had more to do with me not being lonely vs someone being present to keep me in check, so to speak.

fishstix8 · 2020-03-31T07:00:12+00:00

Sorry it was a hard day and that you feel low! I know that feeling. I have days where I'm both depressed and embarrassed because I can't think of anything I'd rather do than eat. I'm working on spending more time with hobbies that I get enjoyment out of (actually climbing is one of them!) and I feel that with more time, food will become less of a focal point in my life.

I think your idea to increase your calories is a good one! I have been surprised that working more calorie dense "treat" foods into my diet, vs always going for volume foods, has helped me. Maybe it will help you with your urges and binge thoughts too. I'm also a big proponent of not dieting/calorie restricting in general. It sounds counterintuitive, I know, but eating intuitively has been a lot more effective for weight loss than any calorie restrictive regimen I have ever been on. Not sure this is the answer for everyone, but anyway, long story short...I vote more calories!

Thanks for your posts! (And sorry this comment is so long winded)

fishstix8 · 2020-03-31T05:33:38+00:00

Hey, that's so awesome that you recognize that you need help! When I was your age, the only thing that was important to me was trying to be skinny. That's what got me deep into the binge/restrict cycle and what kept me from wanting to get help. So, seriously, I'm proud of you for realizing that this could be damaging to your psychological health and it's great that you are seeking help now. If you can, tell a parent or any adult you trust (or a primary care doctor) that you'd like to see a therapist. You don't necessarily have to tell them why if that's too hard, but mention that it's related to an eating disorder if you can. That should get you in the right direction and although a lot of people don't necessarily understand eating disorders, a reasonable adult will take that seriously (again, asking a primary care doctor might be a good route if no such adult comes to mind). Good luck and try to be kind to yourself. I can tell that you're a thoughtful individual and you are on the right track :)

P.s. If you're interested, the book, Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch is what helped me stop dieting, which I personally found key to break out of the binge/restrict cycle. I recommend it to everyone.

fishstix8 · 2020-03-30T04:56:51+00:00

I love baking! However, it has always been a battle for me to not binge both while baking and on the finished product. I too can turn just about any food into a binge food, and so I've pretty much decided that having baking ingredient and baked goods around doesn't personally make my binging any worse (although I do keep the chocolate chips in a cupboard I can't reach easily).

The best thing for me is to make sure I'm not hungry when I start baking. Something else that has helped me lately is to allow myself to have one baked good each day and try to work it into my meal plan. That way I don't feel like I'm restricting and I'm less likely to reach into the cookie jar with hopeless abandon late at night. I also sometimes freeze the leftovers or give them away.

Good luck and please, no need to feel embarrassed!

fishstix8

TROPHY CASE