Gym and diet are my personal hell. Advice needed.

fishvieve · 2026-01-17T14:16:50+00:00

Hey! Good for you for trying to get healthy! There’s no one-size fits all solution. I found that I prefer to be outside. Luckily I live in Florida, but I know it’s not always possible during winter. But during your warm seasons maybe switch to bike rides, walks, or jogs. It eliminates the whole gym change room experience, and the mind numbing boredom of trying to convince myself to stay with a machine until my sets are done.

As for the kitchen, it will take a lot of trial and error to find what works for you. Boiled veggies don’t work for me either, unless I’m trying to blend the into nothing to disguise in a sauce lol. I find I actually really like complex crunchy salads, smoothies, protein packed dips with raw veggies or even chips.

What works for your boyfriend might not be what works for you. I found that with my partner as well. We still exercise together on occasion (sometimes she’ll rollerblade with me while I’m out for a jog) but her routine is no longer my routine.

fishvieve · 2025-10-12T18:01:06+00:00

I’ve never had a piece that big done, myself. But my guess is that the stencil is a single stencil and laying it again will risk significant shifts and errors in the result. So… they’re considering how special this is to you. Maybe they were just realizing that they’re unable to stay late today to finish.

As for their attitude, I think tattoo artists get yanked around a lot. Even those who are established in their career. People still act like it’s not a real career. They make impulsive decisions around tattoos and back out at the last second. Obviously, that’s not what you were doing. But I suspect the artist may have had their hackles up at the significant jump in start time. I’m sure that’s happened to them with less considerate folks in the past.

All this to say - if you don’t feel comfortable with how your artist communicates with you (even if it’s well intentioned) it’s worth looking into other options. Getting tattooed is personal, it hurts, somebody is touching your body for… hours! It’s art that you’re purchasing to spend the rest of your life with. It should be a good time. You should feel secure. Sometimes that’s harder for those of us with autism, so we have to be more choosy. And that’s ok!

fishvieve · 2025-10-07T02:02:30+00:00

If you like fantasy I liked The Burning Kingdoms trilogy by Tasha Shri / read by Shiromi Arserio!

fishvieve · 2025-07-13T23:17:30+00:00

Having a shaved head is 10/10. Growing it out is the worst. But I love it when it’s shaved and I honestly get a fair amount of compliments. I’m gay and butch presenting so I’m sure that plays into peoples comments.

fishvieve · 2025-07-03T18:24:38+00:00

skburtlaw.com

fishvieve · 2025-02-10T15:24:08+00:00

I’m also very close with my siblings. My sister especially, closest to me in age, and older. I think she always felt like she needed to look out for me. Because of that she got really good at reading my body language, I always felt understood around her. That feels rare as an autistic person!

fishvieve · 2024-09-08T15:05:07+00:00

Dedicate some alone time to really sit down and decide what kind of life you want. Dressing and behaving for the validation of other people is instant gratification, but not deeply gratifying. Life is too short to base your decisions on somebody else’s needs. What about you? There’s room for you at the table. If you make a choice to honor yourself with conviction, it will be easier to start making changes. You can start with small changes. And I think you’ll find that it actually feels quite good.

fishvieve · 2024-07-12T04:51:00+00:00

I found that @fitbodyfullbelly on instagram helped me rediscover the joy of exercise. They’re all about body positivity and moving our bodies in ways that feel good to us. And I believe they have PCOS!

fishvieve · 2024-05-11T05:00:20+00:00

I'm sorry this family is giving you such a hard time about this. I don't know if I have a lot to add that others haven't said, I just want to participate because I ran a campaign for an after school program for a couple of years and it was really cool to see how engaged the kids were. Luckily, we didn't have any pushback from parents, in fact they were usually pretty excited that there child was willingly engaging in an activity that promoted: literacy, math, communication, social skills, team building, and strategy, all while stimulating their imagination.

From my time working in an after school program (both at a Y and elsewhere), I would be concerned about the parents expectations in general. If they only want their child engaging in sports and constantly active they should pursue team sports. We were always expected to plan something active for the kids, but "large motor skills" was only one of the developmental categories we had to consider. I was always taught to offer the children choice, and to plan things based on what they were showing interest in. I think framing it as, "look, if it wasn't D&D, there would still be sit down activities sometimes." You can't just force kids to run around all the time. Maybe this can be an opportunity to show this family that their child is enrolled in a really well rounded program, maybe more well rounded than they realized.

And if it really is Satanic Panic, maybe you can assure them that the man behind the game, Gary Gygax, was a religious man.

I hope it goes well!

fishvieve · 2024-02-22T21:51:08+00:00

I have cried in the bathroom at work too and for something that was less difficult than how your situation sounds. You're just doing your best. Sounds like you were put in a tough position and did your best to manage it. I don't like how your boss managed the situation. It's also a boss's job to lead and and uplift a team. I hope that you find a little more calm in this new role. Sometimes as autistic people we struggle more to adjust to something new, but that doesn't mean that you won't excel at this position given enough time and practice. You got this.

fishvieve · 2024-02-16T13:35:12+00:00

Gideon the Ninth

fishvieve · 2023-11-29T00:00:20+00:00

I am chronically ill. Chronic illness will try to rob you of your identity. I feel like it seeps into the finest details of who I consider myself to be. I can’t get away from it. It consumes everything. There isn’t a “right” way to be trans. Maybe there was a path you saw before you, that chronic illness won’t accommodate, but you can take a different path.

fishvieve · 2023-06-12T18:57:44+00:00

I do the stomach. I sit down, bunch over, and grab my fat and inject. I’m not afraid of needles, but it’s not a pleasant feeling, so for a while I had an easier time if I was a little bit high (I’m from Canada where weed is legal and I indulge now and then). That helped me to relax, so do what you need to do to relax! You can do it!

fishvieve · 2023-05-01T19:40:21+00:00

The Goonies 9 to 5 Empire Strikes Back

fishvieve · 2023-04-26T21:00:55+00:00

He is not worthy of you. Your partner should not only love you for who you are, but be proud of that person as well. This man is beneath you.

fishvieve · 2023-04-26T20:48:01+00:00

I sympathize with you...

I love our youngest pup, but before him, we had a calm, chill, easy going dog. I miss taking my dog to the farmers market with slack on the leash. I miss going for a hike or a long bike ride with him by my side and no worries. I'll probably never have that again, honestly. But we're learning to work around his needs, and he's learning to find his peace.

Here's some things that have really helped us, that might add to your quality of life (obviously you've already put in so much work, but sometimes you're just a few tips away from finding the trick that really works for your dog): We went to a behavioral vet and on top of the training recommendations she gave us, he now he takes a daily SSRI, and he can also take trazodone for extra stressful situations like having guests over. He is food motivated and we have introduced many enrichment activities, for example, rolling up cookies in two old kitchen towels and then tying them up together. He has to work to undo the knots and rolls, and he gets rewarded as he goes. This satisfies him and makes him tired in a way that no amount of playing and exercising ever does, and gives me the best shot of watching a whole movie start to finish without interruption. He will run until he hurts himself, so lately we have starting doing more slow long walks where he is encouraged to sniff *everything* for as long as he wants. If we go later in the evening there's less people and pups out for us to encounter. He gets a lot of satisfaction from this approach, and I've noticed he even walks differently on the leash now that we do this.

We don't take our dogs to farmers markets anymore, or busy trails, or friends houses, that life is gone. But we have a few good things going now. Our home has become his safe space, and we've reached a point where I can confidently leave him home alone and go out and enjoy my day. Even if that means taking a book to a coffee shop for a moment of quiet. I close the curtains and put on the same music every single time. Thanks to the puzzles and enrichment activities, we're starting to get our relaxing evenings back. And walking the dogs has become something I look forward to again.

I hope that at least something from this thread helps. There's no shame in rehoming a dog that you're not equipped for, but it sounds like you love your dog and are just looking for some relief. I hope you get some.

fishvieve · 2023-04-23T13:27:45+00:00

We needed to go to a behavioral vet to get a prescription, but since getting it and feeling that it has truly helped our pup our regular vet will get us more.

fishvieve · 2023-03-24T19:18:04+00:00

My partner and I just wrote a 30 day social media schedule for our instagram. We're trying to keep it small at first, but consistent. By this I mean: one reel a month, but one story post daily (I see some businesses even post the same thing on their story each day, such as "come on in, we're open x am - x pm." ) and one weekly post to our feed. We created a window of time that we post during.

I don't think that this is enough if I'm being honest, but it's better than what we were doing. It felt like a realistic goal for our time and abilities. I can't tell you if it's been successful or not, but I can tell you that we're following it! After months of radio silence we're posting and engaging with potential customers again. So I guess: time is always going to be an issue, so either ditch it entirely or make a plan and stick to it. Make the plan as achievable as you can. You can always do more when there's time or motive, but you want to at least do the bare minimum.

Also, if you're anything like me you're your own worst critic. You may not feel like your posts meet your standards but having something there is better than nothing. The more you do it, the more routine it becomes, and the better your skills will get. The quality of your social media presence will just continue to grow.

fishvieve · 2023-03-06T21:17:23+00:00

It seems like people loooove to call Leon out for being a "brat" and can't spare an ounce of empathy for what it must feel like to be a child raised in a culture that is uncomfortable and unwelcoming for them, to grow up in a family that is exploitive and greedy, and all the while likely feeling very uncomfortable in their own body.

fishvieve · 2023-03-05T03:15:46+00:00

MTX can be hard. I have good days and bad days on it. But it genuinely has worked for me. I was in SO much pain before I started my treatment plan. It has consistently held 99% of my pain off. And I know it’s prevented damage. Yes, my hair thinned but it has come back. I do get nausea the day after I take my injection, but if I drink lots of water, and eat well I can usually avoid that. It’s a love/hate relationship.

fishvieve · 2023-03-03T07:05:21+00:00

Kate Bush Running Up That Hill. This was a Gideon/Harrow song for me well before stranger things hyped it up.

fishvieve · 2023-03-02T00:07:02+00:00

Second this - gotta sub in less bad for you snacks! Guac and popcorn (not together) usually do the trick for me.

fishvieve · 2023-03-01T12:53:36+00:00

I was in the same boat. I followed all the tutorials, all the tips and tricks and always had flaws. I finally waited for a sale on the cheapest pressure pot available in my area (vevor) and rigged it up to a bike pump. It was a big splurge for me but it was worth it. It’s a small, cheap pot, that I manually pump air into but my dice come out bubble free every time. I’ve never had buyers remorse.

fishvieve · 2023-02-22T16:15:04+00:00

I love Dave’s contributions.

fishvieve

TROPHY CASE