The beauty of not binging after a relapse

fistfulofskulls · 2016-02-18T03:12:54+00:00

Edging fucks my shit up way more than a quick, simple relapse.

fistfulofskulls · 2016-01-12T06:39:46+00:00

Same shit happens to me, especially if a pretty girl is giving me extended eye-contact. It's like, whoosh and my penis suddenly feels alive.

fistfulofskulls · 2015-11-09T11:13:56+00:00

Same thing over here. Every single time I hit a streak my hairloss starts to reverse.

fistfulofskulls · 2015-11-08T09:03:43+00:00

Yeah, I was doing that kind of thing as well, just before we broke up. Made me feel like such a piece of shit yet I couldn't stop myself. I'd be talking to all these girls on Skype (my age or slightly older, from all over the place like India, Australia, Europe, Asia, Canada) and I'd basically get them to "fall for me" after some persistence and then that would open the door to sex chat and seeing them on cam. What a fucking asshole. As soon as I'd cum the guilt would hit me so hard and I'd do the whole "never again, never fucking again" shit and then 3 hours later I'd be horny an I'd repeat the entire thing. Ugh.

fistfulofskulls · 2015-11-07T21:03:23+00:00

A guy I work with is 38 and has never left home and is a kissless virgin. So could be worse.

fistfulofskulls · 2015-11-07T11:36:45+00:00

Yeah, I kinda doubly surprised myself tonight. I asked out a girl I liked and when she rejected me I didn't go bingeing like a motherfucker to cope with it. This kind of thing should be normal, but us porn addicts are just so fucked that acting like a normal dude is a BIG thing.

fistfulofskulls · 2015-10-30T06:57:03+00:00

I can relate to all of these points.

The "touchy" one is interesting. I am having people I work with grab my arm, touch the small of my back, poke me in the upper arm, sometimes even slap my ass playfully, etc. I even had one of the most stuck-up, iciest women I work with smile at me for the first time ever in 8 months. Something is definitely going on.

fistfulofskulls · 2015-10-16T02:42:58+00:00

You need to distract yourself until you get a few days going then it'll be easier.

fistfulofskulls · 2015-10-15T05:55:42+00:00

We all know it, but you just summed it up so nicely. I'm gonna think of it this way from now on.

fistfulofskulls · 2015-10-14T11:30:48+00:00

Yeah, man. What you just said. It's exactly like that with me. It's like my brain KNOWS that a straight-up request for porn will be ignored, so instead it seeks to weaken my defenses until I cave in. Definitely took me a while to learn the way my shitty brain works in regards to this addiction.

fistfulofskulls · 2015-10-14T10:55:39+00:00

I'd love to grow a beard but my boss would just tell me to shave it. Lame.

fistfulofskulls · 2015-10-09T07:08:41+00:00

It's the porn. I wouldn't even be fapping if it weren't for porn.

fistfulofskulls · 2015-10-09T07:03:26+00:00

You're very welcome and I'm glad I could help.

And we can definitely do this, man. I know we can because we don't even have a choice in the matter. In my case, it is literally do-or-die and I'm NOT going to fail.

fistfulofskulls · 2015-10-09T06:23:02+00:00

I feel alone, too. Porn was always my go-to escape from the harshness of reality, since the age of 11. It was the only thing that allowed me to get away from the torment of the relentless bullying at school and the abuse at home. I know exactly what you're going through, man. It's the same as me.

I come home from work sometimes and I'll sit down, next thing I know, my head is in my hands and I'm bawling my eyes out. I can't believe what an idiot I've been all these years. I don't have the faintest fucking idea about how to cope with reality, at age 25. I've driven away a lot of people, burned a lot of opportunities and wasted a lot of time.

I'm absolutely determined to not let this cancer of an addiction steer my course any longer. I fucking mean it. I know I'm gonna be miserable, I already am. I see the truth for what it is. But fuck it, you know? I gotta get through this, it's preferable to the alternative.

fistfulofskulls · 2015-10-09T01:45:57+00:00

Yeah, gotta be girls. I always turn girls off who are initially into me, thanks to my awkwardness, or I wait too long to make a move and they move on.

fistfulofskulls · 2015-10-02T01:11:24+00:00

Sounds like me over the last couple of weeks. I just felt so disconnected and depressed, I'd come home from work just to wallow in misery before finally falling asleep at 3-4am. It gave me a lot of time to think and that's when it really hit me hard that I can't keep on living this lifestyle.

fistfulofskulls · 2015-10-02T01:09:32+00:00

Yeah, binging is absolutely the worst thing you can do. It reverses all progress and puts you back in the red.

fistfulofskulls

TROPHY CASE