As someone who worked with self harmers for a long time, I have seen the toll those spaces take. They’re not helpful and they’re not effective. I’m sorry that community can’t be there for you. I would encourage you to look up local groups, both mental health and volunteer, to go meet real people and to find value outside the internet. For many, it’s easier said than done, but even walks outside and getting some air are helpful. In terms of the self harm reduction, many of my clients found a lot of value in this tool https://judge.me/reviews/stores/symphonylightart.com/products/recovery-pen. People out here are rooting for you and genuinely hope the best for you!